jsca777 Posted December 18, 2009 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 16 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 247 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/27/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/04/1973 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I want people to take this as an honest question. I myself have found that many christians don't show God's love including leaders who are supposed to be the example. Although I find some do reach out to people, many treat you like a stranger if you don't fit in. Also, I have come across many christians that hate each others and quarrel over foolish reasons. The fact that many are not shining their lights and not operating in the fruit of the Spirit, I find has had drastic effects on church growth. How much of a problem do you see going on when it comes to cliques and people ignoring others? Why do things have to be this way when God wants people to reach out to others? How can people who claim to have God's love in them(even those who preach love on the pulpits) act so malicious, hateful and cold to others? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blien Posted December 18, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 346 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 3,050 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 46 Days Won: 3 Joined: 10/02/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1982 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I found this at also every church I went to also.. the coldness made me stay away from them for a LONG time. What I hate the most is, they know you are new, so they send a person who works within the ministry to sit right next to you or behind you. This person acts as if they are there by conincidence but you can see right through the lie. And then when they call people saying "would anyone like to be saved?" they all are talking about you but they won't look at you directly. Yet you can feel their eyes on you. I've been saved for almost over 3 years and this happens every time. They they feel dejected if I don't go up. And once they know you are saved. They don't have these mean and dirty looks on their face anymore and act all cheery and loving... What a hypocrisy! 'I love you only if you are saved' is what they are saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted December 19, 2009 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 71 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/13/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/12/1985 Share Posted December 19, 2009 I found this at also every church I went to also.. the coldness made me stay away from them for a LONG time. What I hate the most is, they know you are new, so they send a person who works within the ministry to sit right next to you or behind you. This person acts as if they are there by conincidence but you can see right through the lie. And then when they call people saying "would anyone like to be saved?" they all are talking about you but they won't look at you directly. Yet you can feel their eyes on you. I've been saved for almost over 3 years and this happens every time. They they feel dejected if I don't go up. And once they know you are saved. They don't have these mean and dirty looks on their face anymore and act all cheery and loving... What a hypocrisy! 'I love you only if you are saved' is what they are saying. i think they mean well. just not lead by the spirit but rather being told to do this as a good deed. as for me. in 04. i used to sit in the back of the church alot. the preacher for some reason...thought that sitting in the front row was more important then sitting in the back when i could easily hear him from maybe, 20-30 feet away(yes it's that small of a church) he waited for me to move from the back to the front a few times. and after a few weeks of this...he finally went to the back of the church to preach to try and see what i would do. i never really fit in with those who were close or had friendship with the preacher. i remember being the reason some people didn't go to church or didn't want to go because of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believer1997 Posted December 20, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 6,363 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 119 Days Won: 9 Joined: 11/07/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted December 20, 2009 No, I really don't find this to be the case. I think a lot of people go to church expecting something that they need in their lives and feel upset when others don't provide it. We really have to do our own soul-searching and focus on God to fill the void - not other people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lovinghim4ever Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 No, I really don't find this to be the case. I think a lot of people go to church expecting something that they need in their lives and feel upset when others don't provide it. We really have to do our own soul-searching and focus on God to fill the void - not other people. Believer, that's what I was going to say . . . Honestly! I use to be one of those people who expected everyone else to fill the void in my heart. If they didn't provide according to my expectations I would get all offended. I sometimes have to learn things the hard way to really get it into my heart. Now, God is not a hard task master, and He certainly doesn't want us to have to learn the hard way. But, for me, the harder the lesson the more apt I am to learn it more quickly, and the less apt I am to forget it too soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believer1997 Posted December 20, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 6,363 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 119 Days Won: 9 Joined: 11/07/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted December 20, 2009 No, I really don't find this to be the case. I think a lot of people go to church expecting something that they need in their lives and feel upset when others don't provide it. We really have to do our own soul-searching and focus on God to fill the void - not other people. Believer, that's what I was going to say . . . Honestly! I use to be one of those people who expected everyone else to fill the void in my heart. If they didn't provide according to my expectations I would get all offended. I sometimes have to learn things the hard way to really get it into my heart. Now, God is not a hard task master, and He certainly doesn't want us to have to learn the hard way. But, for me, the harder the lesson the more apt I am to learn it more quickly, and the less apt I am to forget it too soon. :emot-hug: Love you too!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsca777 Posted December 20, 2009 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 16 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 247 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/27/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/04/1973 Author Share Posted December 20, 2009 I think a lot of people go to church expecting something that they need in their lives and feel upset when others don't provide it. We really have to do our own soul-searching and focus on God to fill the void - not other people. I don't disagree with what you've posted, and this is true that we need to get over this and not depend on people, but the bible does tell us how we need to treat one another. Jesus wasn't kidding when he said to do unto others as you would have done unto you(Matthew7:12). Colossians3:12 says to put on the bowels of mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long suffering(meaning patience). Why would the Word emphasise on the love of God quite as bit? Because how we treat others shows what is really in us, and the way we treat others does have an effect on them. A cold church doesn't reach out to people and make any impact on society at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believer1997 Posted December 21, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 6,363 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 119 Days Won: 9 Joined: 11/07/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted December 21, 2009 I think a lot of people go to church expecting something that they need in their lives and feel upset when others don't provide it. We really have to do our own soul-searching and focus on God to fill the void - not other people. I don't disagree with what you've posted, and this is true that we need to get over this and not depend on people, but the bible does tell us how we need to treat one another. Jesus wasn't kidding when he said to do unto others as you would have done unto you(Matthew7:12). Colossians3:12 says to put on the bowels of mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long suffering(meaning patience). Why would the Word emphasise on the love of God quite as bit? Because how we treat others shows what is really in us, and the way we treat others does have an effect on them. A cold church doesn't reach out to people and make any impact on society at all. We must be careful not to be too quick to judge others - they may be reflecting our own emotions. It's difficult to go to a new place and fitting in is not always easy. I've yet to go into a church of any denomination and not been greeted and welcomed at the door and had other people speak to me and ask me to come back. Perhaps I just look friendly - I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAP73 Posted December 21, 2009 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 183 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 32 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/22/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted December 21, 2009 Our church don't have enough people for there to be cliques! I guess we're all in the same one. What I don't like is when people get up and talk about how something is a sin, when, in reality, it isn't really a sin. For example, a guy got up last week and told about how he had to get over the temptation of working on Sunday and what a sin that is. I work every Sunday. It's just my schedule. I don't feel like it's a sin because that's what I have to do to support my family. Maybe he struggles with greed and that was what the big temptation was, if that was the case, he should have been a little more specific. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tjhawks1 Posted December 21, 2009 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 104 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/10/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/21/1981 Share Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) I want people to take this as an honest question. I myself have found that many christians don't show God's love including leaders who are supposed to be the example. Although I find some do reach out to people, many treat you like a stranger if you don't fit in. Also, I have come across many christians that hate each others and quarrel over foolish reasons. The fact that many are not shining their lights and not operating in the fruit of the Spirit, I find has had drastic effects on church growth. How much of a problem do you see going on when it comes to cliques and people ignoring others? Why do things have to be this way when God wants people to reach out to others? How can people who claim to have God's love in them(even those who preach love on the pulpits) act so malicious, hateful and cold to others? I've had some bad experiences the closer I have gotten involved in a church. I'm saying this because it may cause me to have a negative outlook on churches. I have seen a little of what you are discussing. I've seen it more outside of church though. I had Christians come into my work and act like no Christian should. These weren't one time incidents. I think there are a lot of factors that go into why some Christians act cold in or outside of a church. Edited December 21, 2009 by tjhawks1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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