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Envying others' lives


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hi guys,

I need to go little into history to explain my problem. First, I am a secret christian (a Hindu by birth) and my parents are staunch hindus.

I had a relationship with one of my friends two years back and I ended it due to family pressure (I still haven't wiped out my feelings for him though). My mother has a friend whose brother recently got married to a girl he loved and they are expecting a baby together. It wrings my heart out because it feels like relationships for everybody else is working out, and only mine failed.

Also, the friend's brother(who got married) has a very cool job,his girlfriend is well settled and very beautiful, which make me even sadder. They have everything they want.

I want their life, I want a relationship like theirs.

How do i get over this depression? Please give me some practical advice.

I dunno if the following are relevant, but I took the following steps to overcome the depression.

1) I understand there must a root cause for my depression. I found out that my relationship with God was impersonal. I could not think of Him as an invisible person watching over me. So, please tell me how to think of Him as a person.

2) My parents are staunch hindus, so they will never concede to me marrying a christian. Instead they will make me marry a hindu. I do not know if I have the courage to leave them. Hence, I have the pressure of resisting marriage to a hindu as well.

3) The friend' brother(who got married) is hindu, the couple is not christian. So I keep trying to tell myself that since they aren't christians, their marriage won't be what I want. I keep trying to convince myself that because I know Christ I am in a better position. Is this attitude the way to go?

God be with you.

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:emot-hug:

Hey Gerda - I can relate to the depression problems. Unfortunately, there are no pat answers to give. For one, I do not understand your situation and culture well enough. For example, normally I might say spend time listening to worship music and worshiping the Lord with it, but I do not know what kind of access you have to that.

I personally connect best with the Lord through my imagination. I can tell the difference between when I'm praying with my thoughts and words versus picturing in my mind meeting with Him, the same way you might imagine having an encounter with a friend or what have you. You don't have to image a face, just imagine walking with Him along the Sea of Galilee or something (or any other setting you may prefer). See if that helps?

If it means anything, I am single, too. I don't have the constraints you have to deal with, yet still I am just as husband-less as you are. I can only encourage you to stand in the hope that the Lord works all things together for good for you, and that He will make a way for you to be joined to someone who loves Him.

Prayers and blessings!

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hi guys,

I need to go little into history to explain my problem. First, I am a secret christian (a Hindu by birth) and my parents are staunch hindus.

I had a relationship with one of my friends two years back and I ended it due to family pressure (I still haven't wiped out my feelings for him though). My mother has a friend whose brother recently got married to a girl he loved and they are expecting a baby together. It wrings my heart out because it feels like relationships for everybody else is working out, and only mine failed.

Also, the friend's brother(who got married) has a very cool job,his girlfriend is well settled and very beautiful, which make me even sadder. They have everything they want.

I want their life, I want a relationship like theirs.

How do i get over this depression? Please give me some practical advice.

I dunno if the following are relevant, but I took the following steps to overcome the depression.

1) I understand there must a root cause for my depression. I found out that my relationship with God was impersonal. I could not think of Him as an invisible person watching over me. So, please tell me how to think of Him as a person.

2) My parents are staunch hindus, so they will never concede to me marrying a christian. Instead they will make me marry a hindu. I do not know if I have the courage to leave them. Hence, I have the pressure of resisting marriage to a hindu as well.

3) The friend' brother(who got married) is hindu, the couple is not christian. So I keep trying to tell myself that since they aren't christians, their marriage won't be what I want. I keep trying to convince myself that because I know Christ I am in a better position. Is this attitude the way to go?

God be with you.

Dear GH,

How often do you read your bible? The best advise I can give you is to immerse yourself in God's word and you will find all the answers you need. Seek God and know him fully, and you will know with certainty what are the most important things in life.

Blessings...South

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I would say that during my 64 years I have experienced ups and downs of life from many different life situations..... both poverty and having enough..... never rich.

From what I peraonall have learned from life is that truly happy people are not those who have the best of everything, but those people who make the best of what they have.

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How to think of God as a person - talk to Him, silently or aloud. If you can't really believe it's personal, just talk to Him anyway, and the faith will come. That's how it worked for me. Sometimes now I'll find myself talking to Jesus, other times God, other times the Holy Spirit. I know they are all One, but it just seems to work out that way.

So perhaps if you try that, as an experiment, addressing the Father, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit, you will feel more of a sense of personal connection with one of them. I started with God, Father, when I was new in faith. Didn't feel much connection with Jesus or the Holy Spirit, then years later the connection came with both. So try baby steps like I did.

About envy, when people are newly married, it is often the happiest time of life, that and when babies arrive. Yet we only see the outside, and snapshots in time. So many people whose lives look perfect on the outside have unfaithfulness, spiritual emptiness, lust after money, and other problems. I knew a woman who was truly beautiful - she put her confidence in that, and as she aged had many facelifts and was terrified as she lost her physical beauty.

I used to envy people who "made it" in my area of music, because on the outside it looked perfect. Yet there is endless travel (which I don't like), constantly being surrounded by strangers. Fame, to the small extent I had any, is not rewarding because people admire the wrong things - they like the glitz of performance, and don't think of the years of labor and discipline. It too is impersonal, even embarrassing.

You are probably much younger than I. As I get old, I now believe there really IS justice, if we could see everything like God sees it, both in this life and before and after. There is nothing to envy, nothing worth it. If I have God, food, clothing, shelter, and a family that loves me (even if I don't like HOW they love me), I have more than many.

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