lazardous Posted December 11, 2011 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 46 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/17/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted December 11, 2011 Where would we be without "Our Savior" and the scripture's. Today has been a ruff day for me. I do not know where I am headed. Today is my wedding anniversary. It should be a joyous time. The problem is my wife has filed for divorce. She had an affair and even tho I have forgiven her she does not feel God is telling her to reconcile our marriage. She told me it is not normal to be able to forgive and forget what she has done. I told her that you have to forgive to be forgiven. She is unable to forgive herself for what she did. She has said that she will never forgive herself for what she has done. We are both christians and I do not understand why as "christians" we cannot work our marriage out. It is ripping me apart inside. I love this woman very much and the thought of divorce makes me sick. The way I understand scripture is there is only one reason for divorce, that being infidelity. This is going to be a rough holiday season. I am a family man and spending the holidays alone is not what I had planned in my life. I know that trials are good for us. I would have never asked for this to happen to me, yet it has changed my walk with God. It has caused me to seek him more than ever. I can say that this trial has been good for me, tho again I would never had willingly asked for this. It has been a confusing time for my faith. I know that God answers prayer and is able to move mountains. Yet, I have been told my faith cannot change my wife's "free will". I can pray and believe all I want and God will not force her to stay in the marriage. Then I am told I can pray against the oppresion she is under and that will cause her to move in the right direction. Then I am told God will move her to reconcile, look at Jonah. God changed his mind. Then I feel like I am letting God down because I have cncerns about "free will" and not just having the faith to believe God will change her mind and stop the divorce. I do know that as it states in Romans 8:28, ALL THINGS. No matter what God will take care of me. Here we go again I feel like I am doubting God and not believing he will reconcile my marriage. Thankyou for listening. Victory is The Messiah's!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted December 11, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.76 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.95 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Prayers and Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nChrist Posted December 11, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 438 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 2,947 Content Per Day: 0.54 Reputation: 300 Days Won: 9 Joined: 04/28/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/18/1949 Share Posted December 11, 2011 You and your marriage will be in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmbld Posted December 11, 2011 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,491 Content Per Day: 0.55 Reputation: 1,457 Days Won: 1 Joined: 10/23/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/02/1971 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazardous Posted December 12, 2011 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 46 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/17/2011 Status: Offline Author Share Posted December 12, 2011 Thankyou for your thoughts and prayers. What an awesome God we serve!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldShep Posted December 12, 2011 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 934 Content Per Day: 0.20 Reputation: 137 Days Won: 6 Joined: 07/20/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/12/1950 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Advice from an old man that has stood in shoes similar to yours: Let go and Let God! repeat, you Let go and Let God! He knows what is really happening you do not. ICL Dennis~~~~also Praying for both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isaiah 6:8 Posted December 12, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 426 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 3,633 Content Per Day: 0.58 Reputation: 222 Days Won: 13 Joined: 03/23/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1978 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Where would we be without "Our Savior" and the scripture's. Today has been a ruff day for me. I do not know where I am headed. Today is my wedding anniversary. It should be a joyous time. The problem is my wife has filed for divorce. She had an affair and even tho I have forgiven her she does not feel God is telling her to reconcile our marriage. She told me it is not normal to be able to forgive and forget what she has done. I told her that you have to forgive to be forgiven. She is unable to forgive herself for what she did. She has said that she will never forgive herself for what she has done. We are both christians and I do not understand why as "christians" we cannot work our marriage out. It is ripping me apart inside. I love this woman very much and the thought of divorce makes me sick. The way I understand scripture is there is only one reason for divorce, that being infidelity. This is going to be a rough holiday season. I am a family man and spending the holidays alone is not what I had planned in my life. I know that trials are good for us. I would have never asked for this to happen to me, yet it has changed my walk with God. It has caused me to seek him more than ever. I can say that this trial has been good for me, tho again I would never had willingly asked for this. It has been a confusing time for my faith. I know that God answers prayer and is able to move mountains. Yet, I have been told my faith cannot change my wife's "free will". I can pray and believe all I want and God will not force her to stay in the marriage. Then I am told I can pray against the oppresion she is under and that will cause her to move in the right direction. Then I am told God will move her to reconcile, look at Jonah. God changed his mind. Then I feel like I am letting God down because I have cncerns about "free will" and not just having the faith to believe God will change her mind and stop the divorce. I do know that as it states in Romans 8:28, ALL THINGS. No matter what God will take care of me. Here we go again I feel like I am doubting God and not believing he will reconcile my marriage. Thankyou for listening. Victory is The Messiah's!!!! Praying for you brother, I suggest this book http://www.amazon.com/If-Only-He-Knew-Resist/dp/0310214785 By gary Smally, It has been changing my marriage in good ways, its worth a look! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bocan Posted December 14, 2011 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 13 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/06/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted December 14, 2011 If you don't mind me asking... what do you mean by "she won't forgive herself"? Did she end the adulterous relationship? Or is she persisting? It may not be "normal" to forgive adultery but did Jesus ever say to "forgive others, unless it's adultery"? In John's gospel, Jesus tells the woman caught in adultery to "leave her life of sin". How can she leave it except to do the opposite of committing adultery... that is, being faithful? It sounds like your wife has already made up her mind. If she is Christian, she should know better. The Bible is very much against divorce and she should seek to be reconciled, first. Where would we be without "Our Savior" and the scripture's. Today has been a ruff day for me. I do not know where I am headed. Today is my wedding anniversary. It should be a joyous time. The problem is my wife has filed for divorce. She had an affair and even tho I have forgiven her she does not feel God is telling her to reconcile our marriage. She told me it is not normal to be able to forgive and forget what she has done. I told her that you have to forgive to be forgiven. She is unable to forgive herself for what she did. She has said that she will never forgive herself for what she has done. We are both christians and I do not understand why as "christians" we cannot work our marriage out. It is ripping me apart inside. I love this woman very much and the thought of divorce makes me sick. The way I understand scripture is there is only one reason for divorce, that being infidelity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefighter7-7 Posted December 15, 2011 Group: Members Followers: 2 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 7 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/16/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/16/1969 Share Posted December 15, 2011 My brother Lazardous....I feel for you my friend...but most of all Jesus feels your pain also. My wife left me 3 years ago along with my now 5 and 8 year old sons. I am also a famliy man. We are still married but living seperately but actually this will be my first holiday season alone. Last year my mother, who was a stroke victim, was alive and I had moved in to care for her...so I still had someone in the house but God chose to call her home at the end of last year. The pill gets more bitter though as she was in a nursing home for a time and now the house in which I am in (hers) is to be sold and I only have until Dec. 31. I am still trying to reconcile with my wife. I have given it into God's hands. I take hope in that Jesus Himself suffered loneliness and abandonment and knows exactly how we feel. I seek His strength every minute. I live by my late father's motto he took and survived combat in WWII and German prison camp to heart: Hang Tough, Never Give Up, and Keep Faith in Christ. I will pray for you! God Bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joi Posted December 15, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 506 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 1,922 Content Per Day: 0.41 Reputation: 173 Days Won: 4 Joined: 06/12/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted December 15, 2011 lazardous, nothing is impossible with God. Am I saying your wife will come back to you? No, I am not. What I am saying is that if, as it says in Romans 8:28 that all things work together to them that LOVE God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. I know that you are hurting and I can only suggest that you pour out your hurt to God in prayer. He alone has all the details of this situation in which you find yourself, and He alone can work it out. As others have said, let go and let God. He has a wonderful way of changing things, if we will leave them to Him. I pray that God will give you comfort and grace and mercy during this time in your life. Further I pray that He will do the same for your wife, for Christ's sake. Read the Psalms and ask God to deal with you through His Word and draw you to Him. Psalm 25:20 O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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