deciding not to remarry *tear*

[bornagain2011]

I really don't want to make this too long, but I find myself in a sad situation.

I haven't been on a whole lot lately, but a lot of things have happened. I have become very devoted to the Word and to Jesus, I would even go as far to say obsessed! I can't put my Bible down, I don't hang out with my boyfriend very much anymore because I would rather read my Bible at night than watch a movie. My whole life has revolved around learning more about Jesus and becoming more holy, I still take care of my 2 daughters, and I still exercise, but my mind is filled with thoughts of God and His plans for the end of the age.

I guess what really started to fuel this was when I discovered one of the major prophecies for the end of times is being fufilled right now. They are building the 3rd jewish temple! The same one that the antichrist is supose to set up shop in! Then I researched more prophecies being fufilled and I was shocked!! Animals are dying by the thousands all over the world! There are talks about a global banking system. And alot of other wierd things like people are starting to believe that aliens created life on this planet (this is called the Jesus Seed), so I think people might start to worship them in the future, I think they are demons though. After much investigating I think the end is coming up pretty soon, probably in my lifetime.

After I came to that conclussion I started reading scripture in the Bible about being ready for Christ's return, and not falling asleep. It forced me to take a good hard look at how I have been living. I shut down my Facebook account because I realized that I had been boasting a bit on there, for example; I have been losing weight, in fact I have lost 40 lbs since about a year ago, so I had progress pics on their, and now I think that is calling too much attention to myself, I don't want to boast or brag about my accomplishments anymore. Finding God is what led to my weightloss and mental healing in the first place, but I have a lot of unbelieving friends on FB that don't like to hear that stuff.

Now I am looking at my relationship with me and my boyfriend, he is a good Christian man, he led me to the Lord in the first place! I love him and care about him so much and I can't imagine not having him in my life, even as just a friend. We don't live together, and we don't have premarital sex, we basically hangout and are affectionate. My daughters love him! Almost every night we would tuck them in together and say their prayers, then me and him would go and watch a movie downstairs, but lately I have been losing interest in things like that. When he comes over we talk about God now, that is, when he does come over. I have been spending less and less time with him and being less and less affectionate, almost to prepare myself for something.

I knew this would be long! Please bear with me!

During our dating we would talk a lot about marriage, he even had a date picked out when he was going to propose, but I got cold feet and that date passed. I had been battling with whether to remarry or not. I Thought I had the answer- that it was ok. But now after everything I am feeling convicted, I don't think it is coming from the devil, because I am feeling this way while reading the Bible. I read all the passages about divorce and remarriage, it says that marriage is like 2 people becoming 1, and even though there is a certificate of divorce it still doesn't seperate the people spiritualy, only if one of them passes away. And if someone is to remarry they are commiting adultary, and that person they are marrying is commiting adultary as well. Only death can seperate a convenant between God and 2 people. So this is a major reason I have decided to stay single, another reason is because a single person devotes more time to God, whereas a married woman devotes her time to her husband, then some time to God.

I believe now that God has put it into my heart to be single, he hasn't made me want to jump into it. All I have been feeling is conviction and unease. I know I wont go to hell if I get married since I am saved, but like the Bible says "what is permissible isn't beneficial" and I can feel the Spirit working inside of me, when I read the Bible I cry sometimes because it feels like my soul is thirsty and reading the Bible quenches that thirst. Does that make sense?? "You will know the Spirit by the fruit it produces, a good tree produces good fruit". I have been a Christian now for almost a year and I am different now, praise be to God! I can't sin like I used to! It physically hurts me to sin. When me and my boyfriend had moments of weakness I would cry and repent after he left. I am getting a bit off topic again...

So, I made up my mind to serve the Lord as a single mom. Here are a few problems I am dealing with immediately, I talked to him about this on the phone last night, he is completely supportive, he said it is very noble of me to put my happiness aside to do what is holy, he said he would be ok with whatever I decide. But how do I completely let go of someone that I love? How do I just stop seeing them? I want him to be happy, he deserves to be with someone who can give him what he needs in life, like marriage and children. How do I breakup with him without hurting my children too much? They are 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 , and like I said, they are crazy about him! I was thinking of just slowely letting them adjust to his absence, like maybe he could still go to the park with us once a week or something.

This seems so crazy!! I have never broken up with someone who I actually loved and could see a future with! He has all the qualities I would want in a man! He is so kind and patient, so generous. I hope that the woman he finds someday understands how lucky she is! He tells me that he doesn't want anyone else after me, he says he is getting too old (35), he also says that the only reason he is in this town is because I am here, if we were to break up he would leave and probably never come back. I understand, this town has nothing to offer. But that breaks my heart! How could I never see him again? I guess I have to make peace with it, and realize that I am gaining more than I am losing. I don't want him to commit adultary, I don't want us to be living in sin.

So, how/when do I tell him? Right now would be perfect for me since I have about 5 days to mourn and cry since my ex has the kids for 5 days. But...my boyfriend's birthday is in 2 days!! Do I keep this all inside till after his birthday? UHG!! I think I need to pray!

For those who read this, thank you!! For those who read part of it, thank you!! This was alot to get off my chest, and I don't think ask.com would help! I guess I just need help with making this as painless as possible for everyone, ecspecially this children! Thank you guys for your support! May God bless you and yours.

Love

natalie

[Fez]

This thing with your boyfriend, whom you seem to love, from your writing, and breaking up with him? Is this coming from you, or have you heard God on it? I understand that you have been doing a lot of reading, and are drawing closer to Jesus, which is awesome, but...

You sound confused....

My advice would be to pray about this, and ask for answers, and then listen for them. stay close to Jesus as you are, and listen for the Spirit to speak (for sometimes it is in a whisper). Generally when I pray and get an answer I feel a peace within, no confusion, just a quiet certainty that He has answered. So why rush this thing? Tell your boyfriend that you are praying and ask him to have the patience to wait for an answer (he seems like a really understanding person).

How do you know God did not send him to you, or you to him?

Pray, and wait for an answer.

And... you did not say what led to your divorce. Not that you have to talk about it of course, but it could be important.

Blessings

[TrackerJack]

Hi Natalie,

This is an awful big question to be asking on a forum. I would sincerely suggest you speak about this with your pastor.

I do know. G-d wants you to be happy in life.

G-D bless and I will be praying for you.

[Bold Believer]

That rumor about the '3rd temple' has been around since I became a Believer in 1974, thirty eight years ago. I've never heard it in the mainstream media only in the marginal internet quasi-Christian media. If such a building was being undertaken, it would be in the mainstream media. Read the Word, by all means, but don't reshape your life around a VERY questionable event/doctrine. Jesus is the only sacrifice, God has not ordained any other way but Jesus' death and resurrection.

[bornagain2011]

About my previous divorce, before I found the Lord I divorced my husband because he was verbally abusive and violent, it was a toxic situation. But since I believe that God chooses his followers before birth I guess I was a Christian even then..sort of.

I have been praying and praying about this, God has been changing my heart towards my boyfriend, I am now feeling alot of friendship feelings for him, and not feelings a wife would have for a husband. If I believed getting married was the right thing to do I could marry him as a best friend and we would probably be just fine.

I am no longer convinced that God wants me to be happy, I don't think that is His goal for us, he wants us to be HOLY, and happiness- TRUE happiness will come from that. Man's idea of happiness is different than God's idea. If I believe that remarrying would make me happy (which I do), but I find out that it isn't what God wants, I would rather do what GOD wants, and THAT is what would make me happiest.

This isn't something I would ask a pastor, all the pastors I know marry divorcees, and some even marry homosexuals. So to ask a pastor is to ask a mere mortal with their own belief and agenda. Also, I already did ask my pastor and his response was basicaly that God wants me to be happy. He wanted to tell me what he thought I wanted to hear. I wanted him to sit down with me and open a Bible and investigate...but....I have already done that now.

Yes. I honostly believe God led this person to me! He led this person to me to lead me out of my dangerous 'new agey' spirituality, and to the Truth. Me and my boyfriend have talked about all the details that had to happen perfectly for us to meet. For one thing, when I left my husband at the same time my now boyfriend was leaving his girlfriend down in Florida. He ended up traveling across the country and was just passing through my town when we met in a class that he wan't even suppose to be in! There was a class that was offered a few times a year in my town and one of the people from my class backed out and it left a spot open and he ended up in my class by chance! I always got really good friend vibes from him, I always knew he was going to be someone special in my life.

God bless!

[bornagain2011]

That rumor about the '3rd temple' has been around since I became a Believer in 1974, thirty eight years ago. I've never heard it in the mainstream media only in the marginal internet quasi-Christian media. If such a building was being undertaken, it would be in the mainstream media. Read the Word, by all means, but don't reshape your life around a VERY questionable event/doctrine. Jesus is the only sacrifice, God has not ordained any other way but Jesus' death and resurrection.

Google God's Holy Mountain, that is what the project is called. They have already spent 25 mil on it. they picked out the linens and other artifacts, they even built a replica of it. Some Christian, muslim and jewish leaders are heading this project, they believe everyone can worship the same God on one mountain. They even built the building where they are going to teach people how to work at the temple. I can try and post a link.

http://www.godsholymountain.org/English/index.aspx

http://www.wnd.com/2009/08/105938/

http://johnclaeys.com/the-jewish-temple-ready-to-be-rebuilt-its-role-in-end-times-prophecy/

here is a good one about animal deaths, I don't agree with everything on their website, but this is interesting...

http://www.end-times-prophecy.org/animal-deaths-birds-fish-end-times.html

[gdemoss]

Some questions come to mind as I read through your thread.

Do you understand the spirit of the law versus the letter of the law?

Do you know what it means to love your neighbor as yourself and fulfill the law of Christ?

Living in a sinful world and working out the messy details of progressive sanctification through the Holy Spirit of God can be quite confusing at best. I noticed that you have only been a Christian for a short time. Don't make any decisions yet. Lets take some time and discuss this openly.

In the multitude of counselors is wisdom.

Satan wants you to act and act now. He wants everything done at lightning speed so that when the crash happens the impact is great and many are dead and wounded. Satan is impulsive. God is patient.

My personal take with what limited information you have given me is that it could actually be in your best interest as a Christian to marry this fellow and live a life of purity with him under Christ as a family. We will have to answer those difficult questions like "Will I be committing adultery?" etc, but I believe we can come to a place of understanding in time. Remember there are those who sin by eating food that is perfectly acceptable to eat by merely thinking it is sin. We need to make sure that before you act, you are fully persuaded in your own mind.

Lets talk more.

Gary

[LOVE SONGS]

Natalie.... I would say to keep this man in your life. I feel that God sent him to you.

He is a Godly man and Loves you, and your children. That is hard to come by.

Since you already know him for for quite some time.

Keep him in your life and cherish the relationship that you have.

God already knows that you put Him first in your life. And God knows that, even

if you are to marry that you will continue to put Him ,... God first .

Don't worry about your pass and go on with your future.

God Bless you.

[2Joyful]

Its great to seek the things of God and its a blessing when He stirs your spirit to go deeper. My advice is for you to approach God for answers concerning your boyfriend/marriage as you are concerning the end of times. When we become so passionate..where our ears and spirit is in tune with the Lord.. we latch onto them like a bulldog..God is able to reach us and then able to move in our lives. Great things are revealed.. and victory is accomplished. In reality everything that concerns us..should be approached in the same matter as things that stirs us and draws us deeper.. to know what God is speaking or not speaking to us about. Through prayer and personal fellowship..He will speak to you..You will know His voice and no stranger will you answer. No confusion.. Do not move out on feelings..God will send confirmation clearly and when He does..everything will be in order and fall in place.

Blessings

[coheir]

I really don't want to make this too long, but I find myself in a sad situation.

I haven't been on a whole lot lately, but a lot of things have happened. I have become very devoted to the Word and to Jesus, I would even go as far to say obsessed! I can't put my Bible down, I don't hang out with my boyfriend very much anymore because I would rather read my Bible at night than watch a movie. My whole life has revolved around learning more about Jesus and becoming more holy, I still take care of my 2 daughters, and I still exercise, but my mind is filled with thoughts of God and His plans for the end of the age.

I guess what really started to fuel this was when I discovered one of the major prophecies for the end of times is being fufilled right now. They are building the 3rd jewish temple! The same one that the antichrist is supose to set up shop in! Then I researched more prophecies being fufilled and I was shocked!! Animals are dying by the thousands all over the world! There are talks about a global banking system. And alot of other wierd things like people are starting to believe that aliens created life on this planet (this is called the Jesus Seed), so I think people might start to worship them in the future, I think they are demons though. After much investigating I think the end is coming up pretty soon, probably in my lifetime.

After I came to that conclussion I started reading scripture in the Bible about being ready for Christ's return, and not falling asleep. It forced me to take a good hard look at how I have been living. I shut down my Facebook account because I realized that I had been boasting a bit on there, for example; I have been losing weight, in fact I have lost 40 lbs since about a year ago, so I had progress pics on their, and now I think that is calling too much attention to myself, I don't want to boast or brag about my accomplishments anymore. Finding God is what led to my weightloss and mental healing in the first place, but I have a lot of unbelieving friends on FB that don't like to hear that stuff.

Now I am looking at my relationship with me and my boyfriend, he is a good Christian man, he led me to the Lord in the first place! I love him and care about him so much and I can't imagine not having him in my life, even as just a friend. We don't live together, and we don't have premarital sex, we basically hangout and are affectionate. My daughters love him! Almost every night we would tuck them in together and say their prayers, then me and him would go and watch a movie downstairs, but lately I have been losing interest in things like that. When he comes over we talk about God now, that is, when he does come over. I have been spending less and less time with him and being less and less affectionate, almost to prepare myself for something.

I knew this would be long! Please bear with me!

During our dating we would talk a lot about marriage, he even had a date picked out when he was going to propose, but I got cold feet and that date passed. I had been battling with whether to remarry or not. I Thought I had the answer- that it was ok. But now after everything I am feeling convicted, I don't think it is coming from the devil, because I am feeling this way while reading the Bible. I read all the passages about divorce and remarriage, it says that marriage is like 2 people becoming 1, and even though there is a certificate of divorce it still doesn't seperate the people spiritualy, only if one of them passes away. And if someone is to remarry they are commiting adultary, and that person they are marrying is commiting adultary as well. Only death can seperate a convenant between God and 2 people. So this is a major reason I have decided to stay single, another reason is because a single person devotes more time to God, whereas a married woman devotes her time to her husband, then some time to God.

I believe now that God has put it into my heart to be single, he hasn't made me want to jump into it. All I have been feeling is conviction and unease. I know I wont go to hell if I get married since I am saved, but like the Bible says "what is permissible isn't beneficial" and I can feel the Spirit working inside of me, when I read the Bible I cry sometimes because it feels like my soul is thirsty and reading the Bible quenches that thirst. Does that make sense?? "You will know the Spirit by the fruit it produces, a good tree produces good fruit". I have been a Christian now for almost a year and I am different now, praise be to God! I can't sin like I used to! It physically hurts me to sin. When me and my boyfriend had moments of weakness I would cry and repent after he left. I am getting a bit off topic again...

So, I made up my mind to serve the Lord as a single mom. Here are a few problems I am dealing with immediately, I talked to him about this on the phone last night, he is completely supportive, he said it is very noble of me to put my happiness aside to do what is holy, he said he would be ok with whatever I decide. But how do I completely let go of someone that I love? How do I just stop seeing them? I want him to be happy, he deserves to be with someone who can give him what he needs in life, like marriage and children. How do I breakup with him without hurting my children too much? They are 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 , and like I said, they are crazy about him! I was thinking of just slowely letting them adjust to his absence, like maybe he could still go to the park with us once a week or something.

This seems so crazy!! I have never broken up with someone who I actually loved and could see a future with! He has all the qualities I would want in a man! He is so kind and patient, so generous. I hope that the woman he finds someday understands how lucky she is! He tells me that he doesn't want anyone else after me, he says he is getting too old (35), he also says that the only reason he is in this town is because I am here, if we were to break up he would leave and probably never come back. I understand, this town has nothing to offer. But that breaks my heart! How could I never see him again? I guess I have to make peace with it, and realize that I am gaining more than I am losing. I don't want him to commit adultary, I don't want us to be living in sin.

So, how/when do I tell him? Right now would be perfect for me since I have about 5 days to mourn and cry since my ex has the kids for 5 days. But...my boyfriend's birthday is in 2 days!! Do I keep this all inside till after his birthday? UHG!! I think I need to pray!

For those who read this, thank you!! For those who read part of it, thank you!! This was alot to get off my chest, and I don't think ask.com would help! I guess I just need help with making this as painless as possible for everyone, ecspecially this children! Thank you guys for your support! May God bless you and yours.

Love

natalie

Everyone has there own thoughts and everyone has a different belief in what the bible says. You probably already know you will get a wide range of opinions from people. Mine will differ from most others.First I agree God is patient and you should pray for his guidance. You seem to want to rush into splitting up with your boyfriend. God made a woman to be the companion of man so there is nothing wrong with being with him. You seem to be concerned about adultry I would say

it is a sin God can forgive. And I do not think you are positive God wants you to be a single parent. You say the kids love this man, then it may be foolish to remove him from their life. A father as good as you describe him may never cross your path again. I say just keep things going with him maybe back off a little an let things simmer for a while rather than a swift clean cut from him because than swift cut may affect your kids more than you. I agree many signs are showing their face nowdays I like to follow them too; but for all we know it could be this year or 50 years before Christ comes back for us.

I would say not to be overly involved in prophsey God did say watch for the signs he did not say become obsessed with them and spent more time reading the books of Romans thru Phileman. Not to put any pressure on you just a thought

that may not have crossed your mind. I have seen good christian men backslide from a situstion like your boyfriend is in

by a waoman they loved broke up with them, it can happen to some. You said that he said if you break up he would leave town so he may have other thoughts he has not shared with you. It does not sound like he has told you how deep the swift clean cut would be in is life. pray be patient give things some time.