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bornagain2011

deciding not to remarry *tear*

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And word to the wise, dont use youtube as your source to whats going on in the world. It will lead you astray every time.

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I really don't want to make this too long, but I find myself in a sad situation.

I haven't been on a whole lot lately, but a lot of things have happened. I have become very devoted to the Word and to Jesus, I would even go as far to say obsessed! I can't put my Bible down, I don't hang out with my boyfriend very much anymore because I would rather read my Bible at night than watch a movie. My whole life has revolved around learning more about Jesus and becoming more holy, I still take care of my 2 daughters, and I still exercise, but my mind is filled with thoughts of God and His plans for the end of the age.

I guess what really started to fuel this was when I discovered one of the major prophecies for the end of times is being fufilled right now. They are building the 3rd jewish temple! The same one that the antichrist is supose to set up shop in! Then I researched more prophecies being fufilled and I was shocked!! Animals are dying by the thousands all over the world! There are talks about a global banking system. And alot of other wierd things like people are starting to believe that aliens created life on this planet (this is called the Jesus Seed), so I think people might start to worship them in the future, I think they are demons though. After much investigating I think the end is coming up pretty soon, probably in my lifetime.

After I came to that conclussion I started reading scripture in the Bible about being ready for Christ's return, and not falling asleep. It forced me to take a good hard look at how I have been living. I shut down my Facebook account because I realized that I had been boasting a bit on there, for example; I have been losing weight, in fact I have lost 40 lbs since about a year ago, so I had progress pics on their, and now I think that is calling too much attention to myself, I don't want to boast or brag about my accomplishments anymore. Finding God is what led to my weightloss and mental healing in the first place, but I have a lot of unbelieving friends on FB that don't like to hear that stuff.

Now I am looking at my relationship with me and my boyfriend, he is a good Christian man, he led me to the Lord in the first place! I love him and care about him so much and I can't imagine not having him in my life, even as just a friend. We don't live together, and we don't have premarital sex, we basically hangout and are affectionate. My daughters love him! Almost every night we would tuck them in together and say their prayers, then me and him would go and watch a movie downstairs, but lately I have been losing interest in things like that. When he comes over we talk about God now, that is, when he does come over. I have been spending less and less time with him and being less and less affectionate, almost to prepare myself for something.

I knew this would be long! Please bear with me!

During our dating we would talk a lot about marriage, he even had a date picked out when he was going to propose, but I got cold feet and that date passed. I had been battling with whether to remarry or not. I Thought I had the answer- that it was ok. But now after everything I am feeling convicted, I don't think it is coming from the devil, because I am feeling this way while reading the Bible. I read all the passages about divorce and remarriage, it says that marriage is like 2 people becoming 1, and even though there is a certificate of divorce it still doesn't seperate the people spiritualy, only if one of them passes away. And if someone is to remarry they are commiting adultary, and that person they are marrying is commiting adultary as well. Only death can seperate a convenant between God and 2 people. So this is a major reason I have decided to stay single, another reason is because a single person devotes more time to God, whereas a married woman devotes her time to her husband, then some time to God.

I believe now that God has put it into my heart to be single, he hasn't made me want to jump into it. All I have been feeling is conviction and unease. I know I wont go to hell if I get married since I am saved, but like the Bible says "what is permissible isn't beneficial" and I can feel the Spirit working inside of me, when I read the Bible I cry sometimes because it feels like my soul is thirsty and reading the Bible quenches that thirst. Does that make sense?? "You will know the Spirit by the fruit it produces, a good tree produces good fruit". I have been a Christian now for almost a year and I am different now, praise be to God! I can't sin like I used to! It physically hurts me to sin. When me and my boyfriend had moments of weakness I would cry and repent after he left. I am getting a bit off topic again...

So, I made up my mind to serve the Lord as a single mom. Here are a few problems I am dealing with immediately, I talked to him about this on the phone last night, he is completely supportive, he said it is very noble of me to put my happiness aside to do what is holy, he said he would be ok with whatever I decide. But how do I completely let go of someone that I love? How do I just stop seeing them? I want him to be happy, he deserves to be with someone who can give him what he needs in life, like marriage and children. How do I breakup with him without hurting my children too much? They are 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 , and like I said, they are crazy about him! I was thinking of just slowely letting them adjust to his absence, like maybe he could still go to the park with us once a week or something.

This seems so crazy!! I have never broken up with someone who I actually loved and could see a future with! He has all the qualities I would want in a man! He is so kind and patient, so generous. I hope that the woman he finds someday understands how lucky she is! He tells me that he doesn't want anyone else after me, he says he is getting too old (35), he also says that the only reason he is in this town is because I am here, if we were to break up he would leave and probably never come back. I understand, this town has nothing to offer. But that breaks my heart! How could I never see him again? I guess I have to make peace with it, and realize that I am gaining more than I am losing. I don't want him to commit adultary, I don't want us to be living in sin.

So, how/when do I tell him? Right now would be perfect for me since I have about 5 days to mourn and cry since my ex has the kids for 5 days. But...my boyfriend's birthday is in 2 days!! Do I keep this all inside till after his birthday? UHG!! I think I need to pray!

For those who read this, thank you!! For those who read part of it, thank you!! This was alot to get off my chest, and I don't think ask.com would help! I guess I just need help with making this as painless as possible for everyone, ecspecially this children! Thank you guys for your support! May God bless you and yours.

Love

natalie

You seem confused and impulsive at the moment. Is there someone with whom you could get pastoral counseling?? I think you need to get quiet and reflective - you seem like you are in panic and not at peace. Please - talk to a counselor.

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Hi,Good Day

contact me with this email here

My name is Miss.lizzy I saw your profile today at and was moved and become interested in you, I will like you to send me an email to my address (lizzy.denis@yahoo.com) so that i can give you my pictures for you to know whom i am.

I believed we can move from here? Remember colour distance does not matter but LOVE matters allot in life). Reply me back with my email address(lizzy.denis@yahoo.com) hope to hear from you soon

yours Miss lizzy

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Hi,Good Day

contact me with this email here

My name is Miss.lizzy I saw your profile today at and was moved and become interested in you, I will like you to send me an email to my address (lizzy.denis@yahoo.com) so that i can give you my pictures for you to know whom i am.

I believed we can move from here? Remember colour distance does not matter but LOVE matters allot in life). Reply me back with my email address(lizzy.denis@yahoo.com) hope to hear from you soon

yours Miss lizzy

LOL! Wha?

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Spam, ignore ;-)

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Hi Natalie,

You have been on my mind since Sat when I first read this. I've been trying to think if I can offer you some words of wisdom here. I didn't come up with anything great. But I do have a few things to say.

First of all, ignore that post above by Banned, I think it's an X-Rated advertisement. I'm seeing it all over Worthy.

It's very commendable of you to consider God in whether you should remarry or not. Where I live I doubt anyone would do that. You are also right when you said God didn't put us here to be happy. He put us here to be holy. If we can be happy within being holy then that's great. But IMO God isn't concerned with us being happy because that doesn't show us to be followers of His will. Besides that, God is immortal, and even if one of us lives to 110 years old, that's nothing to God. God wants us all in Heaven, and that takes holiness, not happiness. So I agree, and again I commend you for realizing that. Where I am people argue with me if I say that.

I think you should forget about where we are in God's plan for mankind. I mean whether Jesus returns today, next month, next year, or after you're dead, is immaterial to whether you remarry or not. Jesus said people would be marrying and giving in marriage when He returns, and He didn't say that would be wrong. So when Jesus will return should not be a factor in whether you remarry. I have a feeling your decision to not remarry is based of Jesus returning soon. I've seen people make decisions based on that before. When Jesus didn't return yet, they became very confused and fell away. So just don't even think about that.

Finally, I think the main thing is you should have peace with whatever you decide. God gives us peace of mind, not turmoil and confusion. Those things are of the devil. I wish you had said your age, but I assume it's close to your bf's age. Many people think they're "getting old" in their 30's and start to panic. But the 30's is still very young. People then panic again in their 40's, which is still fairly young. Actually age is relative. I'm almost 60 so to me you're young. I feel old but to someone 80 I'm young. Even so, the 30's is still young, so neither you nor him should rush to make a decision based on age. I was also once involved in a platonic love affair, and I was very happy in it. I loved the woman deeply and I enjoyed raising her 2 daughters with her. So that can happen too.

I don't know if I helped but I want you to slow down, and wait for peace with the decision. When you and him have peace with what you have decided, that will be from God.

John

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Hi Natalie,

You have been on my mind since Sat when I first read this. I've been trying to think if I can offer you some words of wisdom here. I didn't come up with anything great. But I do have a few things to say.

First of all, ignore that post above by Banned, I think it's an X-Rated advertisement. I'm seeing it all over Worthy.

It's very commendable of you to consider God in whether you should remarry or not. Where I live I doubt anyone would do that. You are also right when you said God didn't put us here to be happy. He put us here to be holy. If we can be happy within being holy then that's great. But IMO God isn't concerned with us being happy because that doesn't show us to be followers of His will. Besides that, God is immortal, and even if one of us lives to 110 years old, that's nothing to God. God wants us all in Heaven, and that takes holiness, not happiness. So I agree, and again I commend you for realizing that. Where I am people argue with me if I say that.

I think you should forget about where we are in God's plan for mankind. I mean whether Jesus returns today, next month, next year, or after you're dead, is immaterial to whether you remarry or not. Jesus said people would be marrying and giving in marriage when He returns, and He didn't say that would be wrong. So when Jesus will return should not be a factor in whether you remarry. I have a feeling your decision to not remarry is based of Jesus returning soon. I've seen people make decisions based on that before. When Jesus didn't return yet, they became very confused and fell away. So just don't even think about that.

Finally, I think the main thing is you should have peace with whatever you decide. God gives us peace of mind, not turmoil and confusion. Those things are of the devil. I wish you had said your age, but I assume it's close to your bf's age. Many people think they're "getting old" in their 30's and start to panic. But the 30's is still very young. People then panic again in their 40's, which is still fairly young. Actually age is relative. I'm almost 60 so to me you're young. I feel old but to someone 80 I'm young. Even so, the 30's is still young, so neither you nor him should rush to make a decision based on age. I was also once involved in a platonic love affair, and I was very happy in it. I loved the woman deeply and I enjoyed raising her 2 daughters with her. So that can happen too.

I don't know if I helped but I want you to slow down, and wait for peace with the decision. When you and him have peace with what you have decided, that will be from God.

John

WOW! Your response brought me so much hope and happiness! Thank you sooo much! It makes me feel so much better to hear about someone else who was in a platonic relationship with a woman who had 2 kids! I am 28 years old and I have 2 young daughters 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. I am the only person I know of who has chosen not to remarry because of scripture. Everyone I talk to tells me they did and God wants them to be happy. I think sometimes it is sooo painful to be holy, because we want to do what we want! It is alot easier to remain single when you aren't inlove with someone. i mean, he was ready to propose to me like 2 days after I brought this up to him! He was going to do this on his birthday!

The truth is, I would rather be lonely and somewhat sad and single with 2 kids and be following the Word of God, rather than happily married, but always feeling like I might be sinning, and then have to answer to God about my decision. I know I would still go to heaven, but that isn't the point. A good tree bears good fruit, it is hard for me to choose bad.

Thank you again for your helpful comment! God bless!

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