Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
DearJudy,OurLord

Dating a divorced person a sin?

14 posts in this topic

I agree with bopeep1909.

I would like to receive honest advice based on my story. I know what the Bible says on divorce, etc. I only would like to know how to apply it in my situation.

As a divorced person I have been judged and feel like an outcast.

I have been married for 12 years and we have 3 children together. In 2008 I decided to leave my husband.

When we met I was 19 and he was 32. At the time I was heavily involved in new age movement, he said he is a Christian. I thought as a Christian he must be a good person; I couldn't be more wrong! We fell in love, got married and had kids. He introduced me to Christianity, I got saved and entirely free from my past and witchcraft practices.

The strange part was that the more I loved God the more he was departing from faith. He was very jealous and abusive towards me. With time the violence grew and life became hard to bare. The abuse was in all shape and form: physical, psychological, spiritual, sexual etc. I used to pray for him and fast every Friday for him to change or for me to have more faith and strength to cope. Things went only from bad to worst. After 5 years of marriage I decided to separate from him for 6 months. I thought it will give him time to think and put things right.

He said everything will be better, he used many Bible verses to convince me, to show how good he is etc. I decided to give us another chance because of the children and I still loved him.

After that the abuse increased and it was worst then ever. He started sleeping around and always justified that it is my fault. I felt rejected, guilty and failure.

I kept forgiving him on daily basis, otherwise I would go crazy. I begged him and on many occasions got church people involved but without any changes for better.

The last straw on the camels back was that I found out he was sexually abusing one of our children. I had a nervous break down and run away with kids and started new life.

It took me 5 years to put my life back on truck and keep the faith.

At the moment I feel I am ready for a relationship but I found it impossible to do. I feel like I am cursed or something. I am a woman of one man. When I originally got married it was in believe that it will be 'until death us apart'.

I missed the part when husband loves and cherish his wife, provides and protect his family.

I still have that desire to marry and have a chance for normal, Godly life.

Be divorced is worst than be a widow. No Christian man wants to get involved with a person like me and all non-Christians have only one agenda on mind! What Jesus thinks of me?

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK....Eve?

It is not true that no Christian man wants to get involved with a divorced woman (or vice versa)

However, it sounds to me like you still have more healing to do. It sounds like in some way you are believing you are a second class citizen. Either you are forgiven or you are not.

If you are forgiven (of all your sins) then you have to go forward...I do understand that is easier said then done....but while many people frown on divorce, I think, in your case it was justified

The best gift you could possibly give yourself, is to grow in Christ....and become stable in your relationships so that if and when God brings the right person into your life, you will be able

to be a partner to that person and not another dependent. We need to learn to trust in Christ and stand in Him before we are able to be with another person.

Too many people get married for the wrong reason...one of them being that their life will instantly become better or someone else will make them happy or whatever. That very seldom

works out that way. We should be able to be our own person and not expect someone else to fill all the voids in our lives

Hope that makes sense....

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK....Eve?

It is not true that no Christian man wants to get involved with a divorced woman (or vice versa)

However, it sounds to me like you still have more healing to do. It sounds like in some way you are believing you are a second class citizen. Either you are forgiven or you are not.

If you are forgiven (of all your sins) then you have to go forward...I do understand that is easier said then done....but while many people frown on divorce, I think, in your case it was justified

The best gift you could possibly give yourself, is to grow in Christ....and become stable in your relationships so that if and when God brings the right person into your life, you will be able

to be a partner to that person and not another dependent. We need to learn to trust in Christ and stand in Him before we are able to be with another person.

Too many people get married for the wrong reason...one of them being that their life will instantly become better or someone else will make them happy or whatever. That very seldom

works out that way. We should be able to be our own person and not expect someone else to fill all the voids in our lives

Hope that makes sense....

I think you are right. Perhaps the time isn't right yet. Sometimes I am not sure if the healing process is over.

So, what do I do ? Pray and wait? Commit the situation in God's hands? How do I know when I am ready?

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have been celabate in Faith and do not wish to re-marry again as it is a sin for any man to marry a divorced woman! I will follow my council of the bible and nothing will ever change my mind......God's breathed words.....Amen

Now that is how I read it too. Its not that a Christian can't get divorced for any reason but that they can't get remarried if the spouse didn't commit adultery or abandonment. The penalty outside of these reasons is a life of celibacy until the other spouse dies.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been celabate in Faith and do not wish to re-marry again as it is a sin for any man to marry a divorced woman! I will follow my council of the bible and nothing will ever change my mind......God's breathed words.....Amen

Now that is how I read it too. Its not that a Christian can't get divorced for any reason but that they can't get remarried if the spouse didn't commit adultery or abandonment. The penalty outside of these reasons is a life of celibacy until the other spouse dies.

It is amazing that you are so strong. I have been celibate for last 5 years and I would like to be married. My ex-husband is healthy as an ox and I do not count on him to be dead any time soon.

He committed countless acts of adulterous acts and much worst things than that.

Does it mean that I am free to merry?

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

http://www.compellingtruth.org/divorced-remarry.html

Also I was listening to a very good Christian discussion on the radio.They were saying that a divorced person should not date or get into another relationship for at least 2 years.If you get into another relationship too early you are bringing alot of old bad baggage to that relationship.You need time to heal.That made alot of sense to me.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
He committed countless acts of adulterous acts and much worst things than that.

Does it mean that I am free to merry?

If adultery occurred within the marriage from your spouse then absolutely you are permitted to remarry. I don't think that the adulter is allowed to remarry though.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not the adulter but God has very clearly put it on my heart to stay single.I am at peace with that.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with bopeep1909.

I would like to receive honest advice based on my story. I know what the Bible says on divorce, etc. I only would like to know how to apply it in my situation.

As a divorced person I have been judged and feel like an outcast.

I have been married for 12 years and we have 3 children together. In 2008 I decided to leave my husband.

When we met I was 19 and he was 32. At the time I was heavily involved in new age movement, he said he is a Christian. I thought as a Christian he must be a good person; I couldn't be more wrong! We fell in love, got married and had kids. He introduced me to Christianity, I got saved and entirely free from my past and witchcraft practices.

The strange part was that the more I loved God the more he was departing from faith. He was very jealous and abusive towards me. With time the violence grew and life became hard to bare. The abuse was in all shape and form: physical, psychological, spiritual, sexual etc. I used to pray for him and fast every Friday for him to change or for me to have more faith and strength to cope. Things went only from bad to worst. After 5 years of marriage I decided to separate from him for 6 months. I thought it will give him time to think and put things right.

He said everything will be better, he used many Bible verses to convince me, to show how good he is etc. I decided to give us another chance because of the children and I still loved him.

After that the abuse increased and it was worst then ever. He started sleeping around and always justified that it is my fault. I felt rejected, guilty and failure.

I kept forgiving him on daily basis, otherwise I would go crazy. I begged him and on many occasions got church people involved but without any changes for better.

The last straw on the camels back was that I found out he was sexually abusing one of our children. I had a nervous break down and run away with kids and started new life.

It took me 5 years to put my life back on truck and keep the faith.

At the moment I feel I am ready for a relationship but I found it impossible to do. I feel like I am cursed or something. I am a woman of one man. When I originally got married it was in believe that it will be 'until death us apart'.

I missed the part when husband loves and cherish his wife, provides and protect his family.

I still have that desire to marry and have a chance for normal, Godly life.

Be divorced is worst than be a widow. No Christian man wants to get involved with a person like me and all non-Christians have only one agenda on mind! What Jesus thinks of me?

I don't know if you are still following this topic, but I have some news for you. Jesus thinks that you are so precious, you are worth dying for. He's coming back for you, if you will be His bride - part of the body of Christ. From what you have written here, I would say that you have already found the perfect Husband- both man and God - Jesus Christ! he will never leave you, nor forsake you, and nothing can separate you from His love. Nothing!

Be blessed, and know that you are highly favoured and powerfully loved by the King of kings! In Jesus' mighty Name!!!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with bopeep1909.

I would like to receive honest advice based on my story. I know what the Bible says on divorce, etc. I only would like to know how to apply it in my situation.

As a divorced person I have been judged and feel like an outcast.

I have been married for 12 years and we have 3 children together. In 2008 I decided to leave my husband.

When we met I was 19 and he was 32. At the time I was heavily involved in new age movement, he said he is a Christian. I thought as a Christian he must be a good person; I couldn't be more wrong! We fell in love, got married and had kids. He introduced me to Christianity, I got saved and entirely free from my past and witchcraft practices.

The strange part was that the more I loved God the more he was departing from faith. He was very jealous and abusive towards me. With time the violence grew and life became hard to bare. The abuse was in all shape and form: physical, psychological, spiritual, sexual etc. I used to pray for him and fast every Friday for him to change or for me to have more faith and strength to cope. Things went only from bad to worst. After 5 years of marriage I decided to separate from him for 6 months. I thought it will give him time to think and put things right.

He said everything will be better, he used many Bible verses to convince me, to show how good he is etc. I decided to give us another chance because of the children and I still loved him.

After that the abuse increased and it was worst then ever. He started sleeping around and always justified that it is my fault. I felt rejected, guilty and failure.

I kept forgiving him on daily basis, otherwise I would go crazy. I begged him and on many occasions got church people involved but without any changes for better.

The last straw on the camels back was that I found out he was sexually abusing one of our children. I had a nervous break down and run away with kids and started new life.

It took me 5 years to put my life back on truck and keep the faith.

At the moment I feel I am ready for a relationship but I found it impossible to do. I feel like I am cursed or something. I am a woman of one man. When I originally got married it was in believe that it will be 'until death us apart'.

I missed the part when husband loves and cherish his wife, provides and protect his family.

I still have that desire to marry and have a chance for normal, Godly life.

Be divorced is worst than be a widow. No Christian man wants to get involved with a person like me and all non-Christians have only one agenda on mind! What Jesus thinks of me?

I don't know if you are still following this topic, but I have some news for you. Jesus thinks that you are so precious, you are worth dying for. He's coming back for you, if you will be His bride - part of the body of Christ. From what you have written here, I would say that you have already found the perfect Husband- both man and God - Jesus Christ! he will never leave you, nor forsake you, and nothing can separate you from His love. Nothing!

Be blessed, and know that you are highly favoured and powerfully loved by the King of kings! In Jesus' mighty Name!!!

Good words of encouragement. :)

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0