Marital Abuse

[Guest ninhao]

The church would be able to put this man out of their midst for his sins, but it has nothing to do with the wife.

Matthew 18: 15-17 allows for a person who has been sinned against to "If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector."

So yes this does have much to do with the wife because she would be separated from the husband if she was treating him as a pagan. Also under 1 Corinthians 5: 11-13 she would not even eat with the husband.

Regardless of that, when someone asks a question at a Christian message board about something, the only place I can turn is scripture. Yes, I could do as some have and create a loophole of sorts by using scripture out of context to say she can leave, but that would be the same thing the Pharisees did. They had created a doctrine whereby a man could put away his wife for any cause. Whenever you go extra-Biblical in your advise, you take the chance you are going to lead someone astray, and you will have blood on your hands. If on the other hand, we are honest and admit that there is no Biblical grounds given for divorce or separation other than what the Bible says, and someone chooses to split up anyway, it was entirely their decision. You are innocent in the matter.

I have provided biblical grounds above where a wife could both not eat with the husband and treat him as a pagan or tax collector. Also if the husband is removed from amid the church and the wife is part of the Church then logically the husband would be removed from the wife. do you agree?

If you have scripture that says the wife is removed from the church along with the husband please post it for consideration.

We are ambassadors for Christ's Kingdom in this world, and an ambassador doesn't have the authority to go beyond the official position of the Kingdom he or she represents. As such, I cannot in good conscience tell someone that God doesn't want them to live in an abusive situation so they are free to separate if God's Word says otherwise. Others may be comfortable doing that, but not me.

I have presented above logical reasoning why a wife would be separated from the husband in cases of abuse. Can you refute it scripturally ?

[GoldenEagle]

As an aside, I would like to make it abundantly and very clear that I started this thread with no thought in mind other than that some woman may recognize that help for her painful situation is available.

It was my wish to try and provide a safe place to dialogue and exchange but, and understand I am regretful that this has happened, I would imagine that a woman might have a problem with

writing as this thread has become far less than I had hoped, whether through design or ignorance, God knows, but I do know that God is able to save to the uttermost parts of the earth and

that he loves and is concerned with each of us. Every single one.

However, it is wrong to assume that a woman must stay in a hellish marriage. I do not share that viewpoint and neither do the majority of contributors to this thread.

If I have ever been serious, you can be assured that I am at my most serious right at this moment and prayerfully submit this post and post 32

Make God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you.....I love that blessing and I pray it for all who read.

Also as an aside I can't help but think of this thread in this manner...

[Sevenseas]

Kindly stay on topic as has been requested repeatedly. We are not discussing being unequally yoked and we are not even discussing divorce in this thread.

An option for discussing those things has already been provided. Kindly respect the other posters and take this argument to the other thread.

As an aside, I would like to make it abundantly and very clear that I started this thread with no thought in mind other than that some woman may recognize that help for her painful situation is available.

It was my wish to try and provide a safe place to dialogue and exchange but, and understand I am regretful that this has happened, I would imagine that a woman might have a problem with

writing as this thread has become far less than I had hoped, whether through design or ignorance, God knows, but I do know that God is able to save to the uttermost parts of the earth and

that he loves and is concerned with each of us. Every single one.

However, it is wrong to assume that a woman must stay in a hellish marriage. I do not share that viewpoint and neither do the majority of contributors to this thread.

If I have ever been serious, you can be assured that I am at my most serious right at this moment and prayerfully submit this post and post 32

Make God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you.....I love that blessing and I pray it for all who read.

Also as an aside I can't help but think of this thread in this manner...

[sourberry]

I am not saying she should divorce the man...I am asking do you think she should stay or should she remove herself and get herself together and seek help?

The decision needs to come from elders, not from legal or counseling or pagan world. The elders need to decide whether the case is genuine.

[Guest ninhao]

Mat 18:15-17 KJV Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. (16) But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. (17) And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

[sourberry]

Mat 18:15-17 KJV Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. (16) But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. (17) And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

This is probably the way with one person, but how do you suggest to resolve the case with two people?

Unfortunately, the modern world deviated from the God's marriage towards some arrangement also called a marriage, where two people are declared to have equal rights. And some times the abuse is believed to be anything that is not that "equal rights" thing.

[Guest ninhao]

Mat 18:15-17 KJV Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. (16) But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. (17) And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

This is probably the way with one person, but how do you suggest to resolve the case with two people?

Unfortunately, the modern world deviated from the God's marriage towards some arrangement also called a marriage, where two people are declared to have equal rights. And some times the abuse is believed to be anything that is not that "equal rights" thing.

I don't understand what you mean sorry. The scriptures indicate the case is to be presented to witnesses then the Church.

[sourberry]

I don't understand what you mean sorry. The scriptures indicate the case is to be presented to witnesses then the Church.

Marital arrangement is an arrangement of two people. And the relationship of two people is not something that everybody understands.

It is quite straight forward when somebody robs or lies or violates some commandments. But relationships are not as straight forward.

[Guest ninhao]

I don't understand what you mean sorry. The scriptures indicate the case is to be presented to witnesses then the Church.

Marital arrangement is an arrangement of two people. And the relationship of two people is not something that everybody understands.

It is quite straight forward when somebody robs or lies or violates some commandments. But relationships are not as straight forward.

All believers are united under Christ. Do you believe a husband and wife are not bound by the rules for proper behaviour and dispute settlement for all believers ?

[sourberry]

All believers are united under Christ. Do you believe a husband and wife are not bound by the rules for proper behaviour and dispute settlement for all believers ?

Not all believers are accepted by Christ. And even less believers understand the marital bounding rules. Paul did not describe all cases. What is the measure of abuse? What is the cause of abuse? What governs the abuse?

In the end of the day you decide not by what's written, but by what's in your heart. And best of all you address your case to elders.