3. Grace-Filled Relationships: People-oriented

[GoldenEagle]

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For reference these are the threads on the subject. This is not the OP.

 

 

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As I mentioned I’m going to post each point individually for the grace-full section.

 

For a comparison check out

 

 

 

2. People-oriented (vs. performance-oriented). David Seamands says, "We all need an environment where we feel our needs are met because of who we are and not because of what we do." In grace-full families, love and acceptance does not fluctuate depending on how people act. People are affirmed for being who they are. In shame-based families, behavior is the most important thing. Who you are comes in last.

Members of grace-full families separate people from their behavior. You as a parent can learn to send people-approving messages, even in the midst of unacceptable behavior. Then you will have accomplished what is the hardest, yet most significant work of relationships. I don't like what Holly and the girls do at times, but as far as I'm concerned, they are pre-approved and their worth is not up for grabs.

 

From “Families Where Grace is in Place” by Jeff VanVonderen… Ch. 12

 

Thoughts?

 

God bless,

GE

[GoldenEagle]

For reference the shame-filled relationship correspondent is:

 

2. Performance-orientation. The focus is on doing certain good behaviors and avoiding others as a means of earning love, gaining acceptance, acquiring approval, or proving value. Failure to perform results in shame.