1. Grace-Filled Relationships: Introduction

[GoldenEagle]

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For reference these are the threads on the subject. This is not the OP.

 

 

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To clarify where Jeff VanVonderen is coming from in his book Families Where Grace Is In Place: Building a Home Free of Manipulation, Legalism, and Shame.

Highlights – Introduction (Pages 11-15)

 

 

Too often, though, the work we try to do as Christian spouses and parents is not the right job at all. We focus on ‘unspiritual’ or wrong behavior, then we set out to apply pressure, control behavior, and do everything in our power to change our spouse or children. When people spend their lives trying to transform their spouse and their kids, the natural result is tiredness, discouragement, and the desire to quit. Therefore, this book is more about learning the right job and less about learning new techniques.

The first step is easy – if we do it: We must learn the simple difference between God’s job and ours.

God’s job is to fix and to change. Our job is to depend, serve, and equip. This is the work of grace. And it is more restful than you can imagine.

I am talking about learning how to be continually empowered by God’s grace, and therefore able to empower your spouse and children to learn to grow. And to do that, we have to take the frightening steps of giving up our fear of people and our drive to conform outwardly to what other Christians expect of us (or seem to).

While this book contains many practical examples, it is NOT a ‘how-to’ book. This is about God’s grace. It is not possible to have truly healthy Christian families unless behaviors and attitudes are developed in the context of relationships that are grace-full, lived in an atmosphere of grace. My purpose, then, is to place the filter of God’s grace over the processes of marriage and parenting, the nuts and bolts of which may look different in each family.”

 

 

God bless,

GE

[Brennno]

The grace filled life, i am on a journey to learn and understand through experience what the fullness of his grace really looks like for me. I love the lord and i don't want to abuse the gift of life he has given me. and being a bit legalistic is starting to be playing it safe because the world out there that god has for me within the limit of what the kindom looks like is so big still it's like " God just point me in this direction and i will do that", but it seems like you can do what you want "What seems good to you and God will help".