To the remarried (help!)...

[bornagain2011]

Hello everyone! This is a question for those who have gotten remarried after a divorce (either biblical or not), I am deathly afraid that after I remarry the Holy Spirit will leave me. I am afraid of this because I read that remarriage after divorce is a constant state of adultery which you can not repent of, and no adulterers will enter the Kingdom of heaven. My question is: after you got remarried do you feel like the Holy Spirit left you? Do you feel any different? Maybe more spiritually dry or less saved? I am afraid that after I sign that paper the Holy Spirit will immediately leave me and I will be spiritually dead. I have been in torment over this for months now. I was engaged a few months ago...the wedding date was for July 6th, but I called it off because of all this. When I got my divorce a few years ago I was not a Christian, neither is my ex. He committed adultery while we were still married. And now I love a Christian man that I believe God brought into my life, either to test me by tormenting me with wanting to marry him, or He brought him into my life to marry. He actually was the one that lead me to the Lord 2 years ago.

 

The following is copied from an email I sent to a friend....I was too lazy to retype it all here!

 

I have been reading a ton of articles and commentaries by pastors about remarriage after divorce. Some say that if someone remarries then they MUST get a divorce or else they are going to hell! They say this based on the scripture that says "no adulterers will inherit the Kingdom of God" and some other pastors say that that scripture applies to those NOT saved, we have been washed by the blood. And there is scripture that says "all manner of sins will be forgiven....except blasphemy of the Holy Spirit" some say that that would be someone who is remarried and ignores the conviction of the Holy Spirit to repent and divorce and some say that blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is repeatedly cursing Him and knowing that you are doing it. So this is just driving me crazy! So, lets just say that remarriage is ALWAYS adultery and that the people involved are going to hell, this is what it entails (and why I think it doesn't make sense!) this means....
 
1.) Anyone who has remarried and their ex spouse is still alive, is going to hell along with their new spouse.
2.) You have to pray that your ex spouse dies before you or your current spouse does that way you can go to heaven, based on the belief that remarriage is only permissible if the ex is dead. If me and Jim got married we would have to hope Brian dies so our marriage would no longer be adultery and we can go  to heaven.
3.) Before you witness to someone it would be a good idea to ask them "are you currently remarried after a divorce?" and if they reply "yes" then you don't have to witness to them because they are damned to hell anyways no matter what.
4.) When Jesus gave His sermons those in the audience that were remarried had to go and get a divorce so that they could be true believers in Christ and go to heaven.
5.) As soon as someone remarries they immediately forfeit their salvation and the Holy Spirit leaves them, they become spiritually blind and stop believing in Jesus, they stop hungering for Him as well, they become spiritually dead and dry. I have yet to hear of any Christian remarriage testimonies, but it would be interesting to hear if they "felt" anything different inside after getting remarried, if maybe they felt the Holy Spirit leave them.
6.) If remarriage after divorce is really so black and white that would mean king Xerxes and Esther are in hell right now because he put away his wife and married Esther, so they were both committing adultery. Or was this one of God's special exceptions to the rule?
7.) If a woman's husband went away to war and wasn't heard from for 20 years and is presumed dead, but by some miracle turns up alive and she is remarried by that time would she be going to hell along with her spouse? Unless the first husband dies before they do thereby setting her free from the law.
8.) Theoretically you could hire someone to kill your ex to set your free from that "bond" and repent of course, and then marry and it would be ok? Because as long as he is dead you are free to remarry. You could pull a king David. (don't worry, not tempted!)
9.) It is better for me and Jim to be boyfriend and girlfriend and be intimate with each other, committing single acts of fornication than to get married and commit one long continuous act of adultery and be cast into hell. This sounds crazy, but some Christians are actually doing this because they fear getting remarried! They just "repent" after each time! They are opting to just have live-in boyfriend/girlfriends or even sleep around because they would rather sin here and there rather than be living in a sinful lifestyle choice.

 

This might all boil down to two questions...what is blaspheming the Holy Spirit? And can someone lose their salvation?

 

Thank you everyone for reading this, I know it was long, but I have been tormenting and troubled by this for a long time. I just want to be at peace about it. I feel convicted that it is a sin, but not so much that it is an unpardonable sin.

 

God bless!

 

Natalie
 

[Guest]

 

.... I am deathly afraid that after I remarry the Holy Spirit will leave me.....

 

~

 

Fear

 

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. Romans 8:15

 

Not

 

Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.

 

Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? of works? Nay: but by the law of faith. Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law. Romans 3:24-28

 

~

 

Be Blessed Beloved Daughter Of The KING

 

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:

The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:

The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them. Numbers 6:24-27

 

Love, Your Brother Joe

[GoldenEagle]

Hello everyone! This is a question for those who have gotten remarried after a divorce (either biblical or not), I am deathly afraid that after I remarry the Holy Spirit will leave me. I am afraid of this because I read that remarriage after divorce is a constant state of adultery which you can not repent of, and no adulterers will enter the Kingdom of heaven. My question is: after you got remarried do you feel like the Holy Spirit left you? Do you feel any different? Maybe more spiritually dry or less saved? I am afraid that after I sign that paper the Holy Spirit will immediately leave me and I will be spiritually dead. I have been in torment over this for months now. I was engaged a few months ago...the wedding date was for July 6th, but I called it off because of all this. When I got my divorce a few years ago I was not a Christian, neither is my ex. He committed adultery while we were still married. And now I love a Christian man that I believe God brought into my life, either to test me by tormenting me with wanting to marry him, or He brought him into my life to marry. He actually was the one that lead me to the Lord 2 years ago.

 

 

There are at least two Biblical reasons for divorce – sexual immorality and abandonment (the non-Believer wants to leave).

 

Sexual immorality

 

Matt. 5:32 ESV

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

 

Matt. 19:9 ESV

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.

Abandonment

 

1 Cor. 7:15 ESV

But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

 

In these cases it is clear that the victim is not responsible for divorce. Re-marrying is not sin and IMO to state otherwise is going against Scripture.

I would also say that in abusive relationships the victim in particular has ground for separation. My heart breaks for those who suffer in abusive relationship.

Like Cobalt I too am headed to church so I’ll try to address further the points presented.

 

Go bless,

GE

[Guest Butero]

I am not sure exactly what we can say?  All any of us have are opinions.  What if our opinions are wrong?  All I can tell you is that the Bible does say fornication is grounds for divorce.  There are many who believe that a marriage and divorce that took place before salvation doesn't count against you because you are a born again person.  That means you aren't the same person you were before.  That person is dead and buried spiritually. 

 

I can tell you all of this, yet you are the one that has to live with whatever you decide to do?  If you just want my personal opinion, I believe you would be ok to re-marry, but once again, there are many who disagree, and what if I am wrong?  Make sure you are at peace with the Lord before you do anything.  If you have to fast and pray and seek the Lord for weeks before you get an answer, I would advise you to do that. 

[Guest Butero]

Hello everyone! This is a question for those who have gotten remarried after a divorce (either biblical or not), I am deathly afraid that after I remarry the Holy Spirit will leave me. I am afraid of this because I read that remarriage after divorce is a constant state of adultery which you can not repent of, and no adulterers will enter the Kingdom of heaven. My question is: after you got remarried do you feel like the Holy Spirit left you? Do you feel any different? Maybe more spiritually dry or less saved? I am afraid that after I sign that paper the Holy Spirit will immediately leave me and I will be spiritually dead. I have been in torment over this for months now. I was engaged a few months ago...the wedding date was for July 6th, but I called it off because of all this. When I got my divorce a few years ago I was not a Christian, neither is my ex. He committed adultery while we were still married. And now I love a Christian man that I believe God brought into my life, either to test me by tormenting me with wanting to marry him, or He brought him into my life to marry. He actually was the one that lead me to the Lord 2 years ago.

 

The following is copied from an email I sent to a friend....I was too lazy to retype it all here!

 

I have been reading a ton of articles and commentaries by pastors about remarriage after divorce. Some say that if someone remarries then they MUST get a divorce or else they are going to hell! They say this based on the scripture that says "no adulterers will inherit the Kingdom of God" and some other pastors say that that scripture applies to those NOT saved, we have been washed by the blood. And there is scripture that says "all manner of sins will be forgiven....except blasphemy of the Holy Spirit" some say that that would be someone who is remarried and ignores the conviction of the Holy Spirit to repent and divorce and some say that blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is repeatedly cursing Him and knowing that you are doing it. So this is just driving me crazy! So, lets just say that remarriage is ALWAYS adultery and that the people involved are going to hell, this is what it entails (and why I think it doesn't make sense!) this means....

 

1.) Anyone who has remarried and their ex spouse is still alive, is going to hell along with their new spouse.

2.) You have to pray that your ex spouse dies before you or your current spouse does that way you can go to heaven, based on the belief that remarriage is only permissible if the ex is dead. If me and Jim got married we would have to hope Brian dies so our marriage would no longer be adultery and we can go  to heaven.

3.) Before you witness to someone it would be a good idea to ask them "are you currently remarried after a divorce?" and if they reply "yes" then you don't have to witness to them because they are damned to hell anyways no matter what.

4.) When Jesus gave His sermons those in the audience that were remarried had to go and get a divorce so that they could be true believers in Christ and go to heaven.

5.) As soon as someone remarries they immediately forfeit their salvation and the Holy Spirit leaves them, they become spiritually blind and stop believing in Jesus, they stop hungering for Him as well, they become spiritually dead and dry. I have yet to hear of any Christian remarriage testimonies, but it would be interesting to hear if they "felt" anything different inside after getting remarried, if maybe they felt the Holy Spirit leave them.

6.) If remarriage after divorce is really so black and white that would mean king Xerxes and Esther are in hell right now because he put away his wife and married Esther, so they were both committing adultery. Or was this one of God's special exceptions to the rule?

7.) If a woman's husband went away to war and wasn't heard from for 20 years and is presumed dead, but by some miracle turns up alive and she is remarried by that time would she be going to hell along with her spouse? Unless the first husband dies before they do thereby setting her free from the law.

8.) Theoretically you could hire someone to kill your ex to set your free from that "bond" and repent of course, and then marry and it would be ok? Because as long as he is dead you are free to remarry. You could pull a king David. (don't worry, not tempted!)

9.) It is better for me and Jim to be boyfriend and girlfriend and be intimate with each other, committing single acts of fornication than to get married and commit one long continuous act of adultery and be cast into hell. This sounds crazy, but some Christians are actually doing this because they fear getting remarried! They just "repent" after each time! They are opting to just have live-in boyfriend/girlfriends or even sleep around because they would rather sin here and there rather than be living in a sinful lifestyle choice.

 

This might all boil down to two questions...what is blaspheming the Holy Spirit? And can someone lose their salvation?

 

Thank you everyone for reading this, I know it was long, but I have been tormenting and troubled by this for a long time. I just want to be at peace about it. I feel convicted that it is a sin, but not so much that it is an unpardonable sin.

 

God bless!

 

Natalie

 

I will try to address the 9 things you mentioned.

 

1.  This is what some people teach.  We both know what the Bible teaches.  Don't worry about what others teach, but what scripture says.

 

2.  That is something people struggle with.  They will either say that, or they will say the couple has to separate to be in right standing with God again. 

 

3.  That is not entirely true.  Some would tell them they have to separate in order to be forgiven.  They would compare it to homosexuals.  You would witness to them, and tell them they have to leave the lifestyle. 

 

4.  When Jesus was teaching, it was before the cross, and everyone was following the law of Moses as they understood it.  I don't believe that would have been the case.  They would have to commit themselves to the Lord, and to the spouse they had at that time.

 

5.  You can't assume anything here.  Lets suppose it was a sin?  Why would God stop convicting you?  He would convict you to repent, and if it was adultery, you would be convicted to go and sin no more. 

 

6.  He didn't put her away as a wife, but as being queen.  Polygamy was ok under the law of Moses, so no sin was committed.  I don't believe the King was saved in the first place.

 

7.  I don't believe that would be the case, because God would know the woman thought her husband was dead.  He looks on the heart.

 

8.  Why do that?  Just commit adultery, give everyone grounds for divorce, and then repent.  Of course, you better hope nobody dies before they can repent?  God knows when we are playing games, and when we are truly sorry for wrong doing. 

 

9.  What if they die in the act of fornication?  Then there is the issue of God knowing the heart, and if they are playing games with him, he knows it.  They won't be forgiven. 

 

Here is the deal as I see it.  Don't worry about what others are telling you.  Don't play games with God.  You can fool people but not God.  Go back into the Bible, read all the scriptures about divorce and re-marriage.  Lay this out before the Lord, and sincerely seek him about the matter.  Then do as he leads you.  Don't worry about how others feel, because they could all be wrong? 

[Guest LadyC]

bornagain2011, my first marriage (and subsequent divorce) were at a time in my life when i was not walking close to God. there was adultery on both of our parts. there was a lot of emotional abuse on both of our parts. there was also some physical abuse from him to me. i divorced him after 7 years and remained unmarried for nearly ten. at some point i dedicated my life back to Jesus, and after a couple of years i asked God to bring me a husband. i won't tell the details of the story, but God answered me as specifically as God answered abraham's servant when he went to find a wife for Isaac. remember the story? it's pretty amazing. God left no room for doubt in the servant's mind as to whether he had chosen the right one.

 

my (2nd) husband and i have been married almost 15 years. God brought us together, and God blessed us in marriage. there are a lot of people who would like to heap burning coals on my head, but i know where i stand with God, and i know He is pleased.

[missmuffet]

bornagain.You might want to check out this website.It is a very good Christian site which discusses the topic that you are so afraid of.I could remarry because I had a Biblical divorce but I have chosen not to.That is between God and myself.

 

http://www.gotquestions.org/divorce-remarriage.html

[bornagain2011]

Thank you everyone for your responses. It is really relieving to know that you guys still have the Holy Spirit inside of you and He hasn't left.

 

Lady C, I really like how you explained how God brought you your husband and you just knew He answered your prayers! That is exactly how I feel about Jim! After my divorce I was not searching for anyone, but Jim just happened to show up in the same class as me, he wasn't even suppose to be in that class but at the last minute there was an opening and he got to be in it! The class was 6 weeks long and during that time we really hit it off! We became friends and he lead me to the Lord (after much kicking and screaming on my part!). I knew that he was going to be a very important part of my life, he knew it as well from that first week that we started hanging out. He has his flaws of course, but I never knew a man could be like him! He is so great with my two kids as well, so patient and kind. I knew God put him in my life for a reason, but when people started telling me that we would lose our salvation if we got married I called off the engagement and decided that God brought him into my life to test me. God knew I would find it hard not to marry him, so He either wants me to or He was testing me maybe to see if I would chose God over Jim.

 

But it seems like God makes His will known to us, He doesn't play games and hide it from us.

 

Thank you everyone again for all your help! I feel pretty confident now that I wont be doomed to eternity in hell. It is just that certain scriptures are pretty scary to read, like for example the one that says if you love Jesus you will keep His commands and abide in Him. And also about not heaping up false teachers who tell you what your itching ears want to hear and they twist doctrine. I don't think that refers to this though, I pray it doesn't.

 

I will have to read some more testimonies of people who have been blessed with their remarriages. That makes me feel so much better!

 

God bless!!!

[missmuffet]

How long have you been divorced bornagain?

[FreeinChrist]

Hello everyone! This is a question for those who have gotten remarried after a divorce (either biblical or not), I am deathly afraid that after I remarry the Holy Spirit will leave me. I am afraid of this because I read that remarriage after divorce is a constant state of adultery which you can not repent of, and no adulterers will enter the Kingdom of heaven. My question is: after you got remarried do you feel like the Holy Spirit left you? Do you feel any different? Maybe more spiritually dry or less saved? I am afraid that after I sign that paper the Holy Spirit will immediately leave me and I will be spiritually dead. I have been in torment over this for months now. I was engaged a few months ago...the wedding date was for July 6th, but I called it off because of all this. When I got my divorce a few years ago I was not a Christian, neither is my ex. He committed adultery while we were still married. And now I love a Christian man that I believe God brought into my life, either to test me by tormenting me with wanting to marry him, or He brought him into my life to marry. He actually was the one that lead me to the Lord 2 years ago.

 

There are at least two Biblical reasons for divorce – sexual immorality and abandonment (the non-Believer wants to leave).

 

Sexual immorality

 

Matt. 5:32 ESV

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

 

Matt. 19:9 ESV

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.

Abandonment

 

1 Cor. 7:15 ESV

But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

 

In these cases it is clear that the victim is not responsible for divorce. Re-marrying is not sin and IMO to state otherwise is going against Scripture.

I would also say that in abusive relationships the victim in particular has ground for separation. My heart breaks for those who suffer in abusive relationship.

Like Cobalt I too am headed to church so I’ll try to address further the points presented.

 

Go bless,

GE

Amen! I think this say it all. Don't forget that King David in a moment of weakness, not only committed adultery but than kill the woman's husband II Samuel 10. Yet he was still know as a man after God own heart (I Samuel 13:14). For even after committing these great sins, King Hezekiah, and Josiah were compare to David for following God with all their hearts (II Chronicles 29:2; 34:2).

Edited July 1, 2013 by 19Duggarfan