The Ten Commandments of Online Witnessing

[Guest]

The Ten Commandments of Online Witnessing

 

Commandment #1

Thou Shalt be Humble.

Upon this one commandment do most (if not all) the other commandments hang. Humility is the key to reaching out to others. If arrogance fuels your witnessing, people take note and very rarely desire to listen to more than two sentences from you. If you are struggling in this area, pray for help. God will listen.

Proverbs 29:23- A man's pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.

 

Commandment #2

Thou Shalt Not Pick Fights.

Thou shalt not fight with thy neighbor, nor thy neighbor's friends, nor thy website admins. This one should go without saying, but how often do we find Christians actually trading verbal blows with unbelievers and believers alike! What unChrist-like behavior to exhibit. If you feel the onset of AIMrage, step back and cool it. Go take a shower or have a run though the park. If it feels like people are being more unruly than normal, give the internet a rest for a day and come back to it. Doing nothing at all is better than ruining your Christian testimony online.

Proverbs 15:1- A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

 

Commandment #3

Thou Shalt Listen.

Don't cometh crying to me when people don't want to hear you because you won't heareth them!! You want to make an impact right? Well so does everyone else online (well okay, maybe not everybody). But eveyone at least wants to be heard or they wouldn't be online in the first place. Give them that respect and open your ears and mind to what they say. Many people are driven to the online world because of stress, depression and lonliness. Reach out to them and hear their cries of desperation. When you hear them out they will return the favor in kind.

Proverbs 1:5- A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.

 

Commandment #4

Thou Shalt Use Thy Bible Search Engine With Great Ferver and Dilligence!

How canst thou take on the forces of the Evil One without thy sword? The answer is YOU CAN'T!! The internet has one huge advantage that witnessing in real life will never even come close to comparing to- Bible search websites. Twenty years ago if you were witnessing to a person and they produced a difficult question you had no answer to it might take a week or longer before you could get back to them. Not anymore. Drop the question into Google and have your answer. Type some text into a Bible search engine (like Blueletterbible.org) and have a verse in 5 seconds. What an amazing tool! Don't waste it!

Hebrews 4:12- For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

 

Commandment #5

Thou Shalt Avoid Chatroom Arguments

What? Know ye not that nothing is resolved by arguing in chat rooms? Think back for a moment. Was there ever a time you were in a chat room and were just hit with an amazing spiritual epiphany? No? Me neither. Why's that? Because there are 20 other people in there talking which distracts you and whoever you're talking to from getting the message. Chat rooms should primarily be used for one purpose in regards to witnessing- meeting people to talk to one on one. Which is the more ideal witnessing situation- on a loud, profane, crowded bus, or in the quiet of someone's living room? The same principle applies here. Leave the witnessing for instant message and watch your results change drastically.

Acts 8:31- And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him.

 

Commandment #6

Thou Shalt Begin With the Gospel Always

Remember that it is not by thy strength thou doest what thou doest. The Holy Spirit is the person that does the work of bringing people to an understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ. He's going to have a time of it if you're always butting in with different doctrines/beliefs/religious discussions. From the outset, your best bet is to present the word of God and see how it registers with the person. The Bible is the most powerful tool to use with unbelievers because it can say so much more than you or I can. It is the water of life, and people are thirsting. Keep the Romans Road and other great verses handy at all times (even memorize them if you can).

1 Corinthians 1:17- For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.

 

Commandment #7

Thou Shalt Not Ignore Questions

Wouldst thou like to be brushed off? In Commandment #6 we realized that our first approach should be the gospel, but what if people have reservations due to skepticism in matters of the Bible, theism or any other aspect of Christianity? Answer their question if you are able. That is what Pre-Evangelism is all about: breaking down all the barriers that prevent the person from accepting Christ. Start out with the gospel, but if a person wants to challenge all that the gospel is based on, don't ignore this challenge. Study up now before you meet it and when it comes have an answer to every person of the hope that you have in Jesus Christ.

1 Peter 3:15- But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.

 

Commandment #8

Thou Shalt Be Reasonable!

The worst thing thou canst possibly do in a conversation is reducing yourself to being beyond reason. Many skeptics will only listen to you if you sound like a reasonable person. Realize this and think about it while you talk. Don't waver from the truths of the scriptures, but also don't dismiss everything an unbeliever says just because they are an unbeliever. Skeptics are fully capable of rational thought and treating them any less than rational normal people will only result in a bitter end to what could have been a useful conversation.

Isaiah 1:18- Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

 

Commandment #9

Thou Shalt Not Waste Time

Art thou called to preach Christ unto all people? Then why are you spending all of your time browsing entertainment and shopping sites? Sure, those things are fun, but are you really willing to be used of God to reach people? If you can't pull yourself away from mindless activities like games and quizzes, why even bother witnessing at all? You are there. Unbelievers are there. Do what you know you should be doing!

Revelation 3:15,16- I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth.

 

Commandment #10

Thou Shalt Be Kind at ALL Times

Is not a believer in Christ a new creature? Sometimes we forget who we represent and what God has done for us. We get distracted and taken in by the cares of the world. We begin to get afflicted by the same things that rob unbelievers of their joy such as depression and anger. When our minds are set on the cross and what Christ has done for us, our hearts are able to reflect that love onto other people. Kindness is simply a demonstration of love and can go a million miles towards showing an unbeliever you really care. Don't hesitate to love people. Don't hesitate to be there for them. Put your differences aside when they grieve. Never beat them over the head with the message you bring. Ultimately when you present the truth in love, they will listen, and many times you will see the fruition of your labors for Christ.

Psalms 126:6- He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

From the former website of and by Daniel Allen

And Posted At Worthy With His Permission

 

Love, Joe

[kwikphilly]

To God be the glory....I just have to say thank You Father!

 Joe,that was one of the most beautiful things I have read lately and what a wonderful set of standards that only the Lord could have placed in your heart....thanks Joe,for your obedience in Christ and for listening to that still small voice.....the Holy Spirit does move a great many people on this site,Worthy is truly a blessing....but for those that do not seek the Lord in all things,its best to read and listen......not everyone is called to preach and thats okay,everyone has a purpose in Gods kingdom...

   Anyway,I really loved the 10 commands and they have been very helpful in my self examination,which I like to do to stay in check......I pray I do not get in the way of the Holy Spirit as my flesh wars against my spirit,I pray I am obedient when He tells me to keep silent and when He tells me to speak.......I ask for your prayer as well and I will pray for you!

                                                                        God bless us all......With love,in Christ-Kwik

[Limey_Bob]

hey these are really great tips, thank you, I'm new to these forums.

[KPaulG]

Amen, FresnoJoe.

[KPaulG]

On 4/5/2017 at 9:00 AM, Limey_Bob said:

hey these are really great tips, thank you, I'm new to these forums.

Welcome.

[0scar]

YOU SHALL NOT DELETE OTHERS TOPICS JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN NOT PROVE IT WRONG

[Your closest friendnt]

Thank you for the insights 

[Justin Adams]

Why Facts Don’t Change Our Minds

By James Clear
Read this on JamesClear.com

 

The economist J.K. Galbraith once wrote, “Faced with a choice between changing one’s mind and proving there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy with the proof.”

Leo Tolstoy was even bolder: “The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him.”

What's going on here? Why don't facts change our minds? And why would someone continue to believe a false or inaccurate idea anyway? How do such behaviors serve us?

The Logic of False Beliefs

Humans need a reasonably accurate view of the world in order to survive. If your model of reality is wildly different from the actual world, then you struggle to take effective actions each day. [1]

However, truth and accuracy are not the only things that matter to the human mind. Humans also seem to have a deep desire to belong.

In Atomic Habits, I wrote, “Humans are herd animals. We want to fit in, to bond with others, and to earn the respect and approval of our peers. Such inclinations are essential to our survival. For most of our evolutionary history, our ancestors lived in tribes. Becoming separated from the tribe—or worse, being cast out—was a death sentence.”

Understanding the truth of a situation is important, but so is remaining part of a tribe. While these two desires often work well together, they occasionally come into conflict.

In many circumstances, social connection is actually more helpful to your daily life than understanding the truth of a particular fact or idea. The Harvard psychologist Steven Pinker put it this way, “People are embraced or condemned according to their beliefs, so one function of the mind may be to hold beliefs that bring the belief-holder the greatest number of allies, protectors, or disciples, rather than beliefs that are most likely to be true.” [2]

We don't always believe things because they are correct. Sometimes we believe things because they make us look good to the people we care about.

I thought Kevin Simler put it well when he wrote, “If a brain anticipates that it will be rewarded for adopting a particular belief, it's perfectly happy to do so, and doesn't much care where the reward comes from — whether it's pragmatic (better outcomes resulting from better decisions), social (better treatment from one's peers), or some mix of the two.” [3]

False beliefs can be useful in a social sense even if they are not useful in a factual sense. For lack of a better phrase, we might call this approach “factually false, but socially accurate.” [4] When we have to choose between the two, people often select friends and family over facts.

This insight not only explains why we might hold our tongue at a dinner party or look the other way when our parents say something offensive, but also reveals a better way to change the minds of others.

Facts Don't Change Our Minds. Friendship Does.

Convincing someone to change their mind is really the process of convincing them to change their tribe. If they abandon their beliefs, they run the risk of losing social ties. You can’t expect someone to change their mind if you take away their community too. You have to give them somewhere to go. Nobody wants their worldview torn apart if loneliness is the outcome.

The way to change people’s minds is to become friends with them, to integrate them into your tribe, to bring them into your circle. Now, they can change their beliefs without the risk of being abandoned socially.

The British philosopher Alain de Botton suggests that we simply share meals with those who disagree with us:

“Sitting down at a table with a group of strangers has the incomparable and odd benefit of making it a little more difficult to hate them with impunity. Prejudice and ethnic strife feed off abstraction. However, the proximity required by a meal – something about handing dishes around, unfurling napkins at the same moment, even asking a stranger to pass the salt – disrupts our ability to cling to the belief that the outsiders who wear unusual clothes and speak in distinctive accents deserve to be sent home or assaulted. For all the large-scale political solutions which have been proposed to salve ethnic conflict, there are few more effective ways to promote tolerance between suspicious neighbours than to force them to eat supper together.” [5]

Perhaps it is not difference, but distance that breeds tribalism and hostility. As proximity increases, so does understanding. I am reminded of Abraham Lincoln's quote, “I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.”

Facts don't change our minds. Friendship does.

The Spectrum of Beliefs

Years ago, Ben Casnocha mentioned an idea to me that I haven't been able to shake: The people who are most likely to change our minds are the ones we agree with on 98 percent of topics.

If someone you know, like, and trust believes a radical idea, you are more likely to give it merit, weight, or consideration. You already agree with them in most areas of life. Maybe you should change your mind on this one too. But if someone wildly different than you proposes an outlandish idea, well, it's easy to dismiss them as a crackpot.

One way to visualize this distinction is by mapping beliefs on a spectrum. If you divide this spectrum into 10 units and you find yourself at Position 7, then there is little sense in trying to convince someone at Position 1. The gap is too wide. When you're at Position 7, your time is better spent connecting with people who are at Positions 6 and 8, gradually pulling them in your direction.

The most heated arguments often occur between people on opposite ends of the spectrum, but the most frequent learning occurs from people who are nearby. The closer you are to someone, the more likely it becomes that the one or two beliefs you don't share will bleed over into your own mind and shape your thinking. The further away an idea is from your current position, the more likely you are to reject it outright.

When it comes to changing people's minds, it is very difficult to jump from one belief to another. You can't jump down the spectrum. You have to slide down it.

Any idea that is sufficiently different from your current worldview will feel threatening. And the best place to ponder a threatening idea is in a non-threatening environment. As a result, books are often a better vehicle for transforming beliefs than conversations or debates.

In conversation, people have to carefully consider their status and appearance. They want to save face and avoid looking stupid. When confronted with an uncomfortable set of facts, the tendency is often to double down on their current position rather than publicly admit to being wrong.

Books resolve this tension. With a book, the conversation takes place inside someone's head and without the risk of being judged by others. It's easier to be open-minded when you aren't feeling defensive.

Arguments are like a full frontal attack on a person's identity. Reading a book is like slipping the seed of an idea into a person's brain and letting it grow on their own terms. There's enough wrestling going on in someone's head when they are overcoming a pre-existing belief. They don't need to wrestle with you too.

Why False Ideas Persist

There is another reason bad ideas continue to live on, which is that people continue to talk about them.

Silence is death for any idea. An idea that is never spoken or written down dies with the person who conceived it. Ideas can only be remembered when they are repeated. They can only be believed when they are repeated.

I have already pointed out that people repeat ideas to signal they are part of the same social group. But here's a crucial point most people miss:

People also repeat bad ideas when they complain about them. Before you can criticize an idea, you have to reference that idea. You end up repeating the ideas you’re hoping people will forget—but, of course, people can’t forget them because you keep talking about them. The more you repeat a bad idea, the more likely people are to believe it. [6]

Let's call this phenomenon Clear's Law of Recurrence: The number of people who believe an idea is directly proportional to the number of times it has been repeated during the last year—even if the idea is false. [7]

Each time you attack a bad idea, you are feeding the very monster you are trying to destroy. As one Twitter employee wrote, “Every time you retweet or quote tweet someone you’re angry with, it helps them. It disseminates their BS. Hell for the ideas you deplore is silence. Have the discipline to give it to them.” [8]

Your time is better spent championing good ideas than tearing down bad ones. Don't waste time explaining why bad ideas are bad. You are simply fanning the flame of ignorance and stupidity.

The best thing that can happen to a bad idea is that it is forgotten. The best thing that can happen to a good idea is that it is shared. It makes me think of Tyler Cowen's quote, “Spend as little time as possible talking about how other people are wrong.”

Feed the good ideas and let bad ideas die of starvation.

The Intellectual Soldier

I know what you might be thinking. “James, are you serious right now? I'm just supposed to let these idiots get away with this?”

Let me be clear. I'm not saying it's never useful to point out an error or criticize a bad idea. But you have to ask yourself, “What is the goal?”

Why do you want to criticize bad ideas in the first place? Presumably, you want to criticize bad ideas because you think the world would be better off if fewer people believed them. In other words, you think the world would improve if people changed their minds on a few important topics.

If the goal is to actually change minds, then I don't believe criticizing the other side is the best approach.

Most people argue to win, not to learn. As Julia Galef so aptly puts it: people often act like soldiers rather than scouts. Soldiers are on the intellectual attack, looking to defeat the people who differ from them. Victory is the operative emotion. Scouts, meanwhile, are like intellectual explorers, slowly trying to map the terrain with others. Curiosity is the driving force. [9]

If you want people to adopt your beliefs, you need to act more like a scout and less like a soldier. At the center of this approach is a question Tiago Forte poses beautifully, “Are you willing to not win in order to keep the conversation going?”

Be Kind First, Be Right Later

The brilliant Japanese writer Haruki Murakami once wrote, “Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right.” [10]

When we are in the moment, we can easily forget that the goal is to connect with the other side, collaborate with them, befriend them, and integrate them into our tribe. We are so caught up in winning that we forget about connecting. It's easy to spend your energy labeling people rather than working with them.

The word “kind” originated from the word “kin.” When you are kind to someone it means you are treating them like family. This, I think, is a good method for actually changing someone's mind. Develop a friendship. Share a meal. Gift a book.

Be kind first, be right later. [11]

FOOTNOTES

1. Technically, your perception of the world is a hallucination. Every living being perceives the world differently and creates its own “hallucination” of reality. But I would say most of us have a “reasonably accurate” model of the actual physical reality of the universe. For example, when you drive down the road, you do not have full access to every aspect of reality, but your perception is accurate enough that you can avoid other cars and conduct the trip safely.
2. Language, Cognition, and Human Nature: Selected Articles by Steven Pinker
3. Crony Beliefs by Kevin Simler
4. I am reminded of a tweet I saw recently, which said, “People say a lot of things that are factually false but socially affirmed. They're saying stupid things, but they are not stupid. It is intelligent (though often immoral) to affirm your position in a tribe and your deference to its taboos. This is conformity, not stupidity.”
5. Religion for Atheists by Alain de Botton
6. The linguist and philosopher George Lakoff refers to this as activating the frame. “If you negate a frame, you have to activate the frame, because you have to know what you’re negating,” he says. “If you use logic against something, you’re strengthening it.”
7. Clear's Law of Recurrence is really just a specialized version of the mere-exposure effect. But hey, I'm writing this article and now I have a law named after me, so that's cool. Plus, you can tell your family about Clear's Law of Recurrence over dinner and everyone will think you're brilliant.
8. Tweet by Nathan Hubbard.
9. “Why you think you're right — even if you're wrong” by Julia Galef.
10. I found this quote from Kazuki Yamada, but it is believed to have been originally from the Japanese version of Colourless Tsukuru Tazaki by Haruki Murakami.
11. I have been sitting on this article for over a year. Many months ago, I was getting readiy to publish it and what happens? The New Yorker publishes an article under the exact same title one week before and it goes on to become their most popular article of the week. What are the odds of that? In the meantime, I got busy writing Atomic Habits, ended up waiting a year, and gave The New Yorker their time to shine (as if they needed it). I thought about changing the title, but nobody is allowed to copyright titles and enough time has passed now, so I'm sticking with it. Now both articles can live happily in the world, like an insightful pair of fraternal twins.

[DeighAnn]

On 9/15/2020 at 12:06 AM, Justin Adams said:

Let's call this phenomenon Clear's Law of Recurrence: The number of people who believe an idea is directly proportional to the number of times it has been repeated during the last year—even if the idea is false. [7]

This must be why the news kept saying Biden was UP so much, it being such a blatant lie and all.  With what I read here it seems it was all a very well laid out plan.  And it certainly worked.    

I wonder how the "vote" would have gone if it had been Trump who was projected to be UP in the preceding months. 

I'll bet this same strategy will be used from now on.  Thank you for this post 

 

[Riverwalker]

Be Reasonable.....thats a two way street if the other doesn't want to cooperate then the reasonable action would be to ignore the user

Which bring us to:

Do not ignore questions.  I am of the opinion that if the asker is listening to the answers, then they should be ignored

You can only chase a fool down his path so far, and I reminded about something to do with pearls and swine

Matthew 7:6 “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.