Rose Colored Glasses

[tgreen_63]

Personally, I would support marriage above all things. It will prevent them from living 'in sin'. Careers are not everything. And by trying to force her to wait, you are also teaching her that career comes before marriage. I am totally disagreeable with that idea. I think the idea of family has gone so far into the background of life that it is causing great problems. There is nothing wrong with being married and going through school. The debts will be incurred regardless, but they will be committed to each other through it...and perhaps if possible they can live together and cut some of the expenses that way. Let them plan thier lives.

I would be more than happy if my son and his girlfriend got married...even though they are both in school. Having sex before marriage is a grievance to God...marriage is part of Gods plan for us.

First, let me reiterate that we support their marriage, just not the timing of it.  I respectfully disagree that we are teaching her that by waiting to marry we are teaching her that career comes before marriage.  She has had the dream of going to college and finishing her degree in nursing since she was a small girl.  This young man comes in to her life, and we stand by and watch her throw away her dreams?  Our concern is that she will not handle all the pressures of school and planning a wedding well.  Our other concern is that the now fiancee` has placed his needs, wants, desires and dreams over our daughter's.  We understand the temptation of sex before marriage, but we also believe that you don't marry someone just because you cannot wait to have sex.  While talking with our future son-in-law this past Saturday, he does not even know her well enough to know that she completed her Associates degree in December and is entering nursing college as a Junior.  He thought she was a graduating Senior with a BA/BS degree.  It is evident they have a lot of getting to know each other.  Also, he will be finishing his BS in May 2014 and entering his Master's program in August 2014.  She will be 45 miles away at nursing school.  She just had orientation on Tuesday, 1/7, and was told "As a nursing student, you will have little time outside of school.  It is important that you 'schedule' time away from school so you get a break."  Our interpretation of this is that he will be consumed with school and clinical's leaving little or no time for leisure let alone trying to plan a wedding.  We realize that the two of them have to be the ones who make the ultimate decision about marrying now or later.  It is just really hard to stand by and watch hoping and praying she doesn't fall.  Again, thank you for your input.