Guest Butero Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Butero, for the record, I honor and respect my husband in ways that would blow your mind away. (I know he is!) And I am submitted to him with my whole heart. So please don't think I'm making any kind of excuses. Also, the things I mentioned above which you called jumping hurdles - these are things my husband has been doing for me even before we were married. The more he's done for me, the more I want to do for him, and vice versa. I am not speaking of what you are doing personally. The question is over whether or not husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church, even if their wives aren't doing right, or if the wives should be in submission to their husbands, even if their husbands don't treat them right. It is great when both parties are doing everything right. That is the ideal situation, but everyone is not in that position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted March 4, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.76 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.96 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 I am not speaking of what you are doing personally. The question is over whether or not husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church, even if their wives aren't doing right, or if the wives should be in submission to their husbands, even if their husbands don't treat them right. It is great when both parties are doing everything right. That is the ideal situation, but everyone is not in that position. I do not recall saying that doing your part was dependent on the other doing their part. What I do recall saying is that when one takes the initiative, unless the other spouse has a mental illness issue (such as paranoia, or I might add abusive), the other will find themselves wanting to do their part. Love provokes love, just as control provokes fear and/or anger. The best way to change your spouse is to change yourself. Beating a wife physically, emotionally, or verbally into submission is not loving; likewise, nagging, abusing, demeaning, or withholding from your husband is not respecting not submission. But fear prevents a heart from love and submissive respect. If your spouse is afraid of you, he or she will have a harder time letting down the defenses that tear each other apart. When it comes to this topic, yes we need to love God enough to obey. But one can act obedient with a closed heart, and that's no good for a marriage either. Marriage is a union, a partnership, and husband and wife need to work together to heal each other and their marriage. Treating marriage problems as a "you need to obey God" issue is not going to heal the hurt between each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Butero Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I am not speaking of what you are doing personally. The question is over whether or not husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church, even if their wives aren't doing right, or if the wives should be in submission to their husbands, even if their husbands don't treat them right. It is great when both parties are doing everything right. That is the ideal situation, but everyone is not in that position. I do not recall saying that doing your part was dependent on the other doing their part. What I do recall saying is that when one takes the initiative, unless the other spouse has a mental illness issue (such as paranoia, or I might add abusive), the other will find themselves wanting to do their part. Love provokes love, just as control provokes fear and/or anger. The best way to change your spouse is to change yourself. Beating a wife physically, emotionally, or verbally into submission is not loving; likewise, nagging, abusing, demeaning, or withholding from your husband is not respecting not submission. But fear prevents a heart from love and submissive respect. If your spouse is afraid of you, he or she will have a harder time letting down the defenses that tear each other apart. When it comes to this topic, yes we need to love God enough to obey. But one can act obedient with a closed heart, and that's no good for a marriage either. Marriage is a union, a partnership, and husband and wife need to work together to heal each other and their marriage. Treating marriage problems as a "you need to obey God" issue is not going to heal the hurt between each other. That is a pretty balanced position, and I find myself in agreement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Butero Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I am not speaking of what you are doing personally. The question is over whether or not husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church, even if their wives aren't doing right, or if the wives should be in submission to their husbands, even if their husbands don't treat them right. It is great when both parties are doing everything right. That is the ideal situation, but everyone is not in that position. I do not recall saying that doing your part was dependent on the other doing their part. What I do recall saying is that when one takes the initiative, unless the other spouse has a mental illness issue (such as paranoia, or I might add abusive), the other will find themselves wanting to do their part. Love provokes love, just as control provokes fear and/or anger. The best way to change your spouse is to change yourself. Beating a wife physically, emotionally, or verbally into submission is not loving; likewise, nagging, abusing, demeaning, or withholding from your husband is not respecting not submission. But fear prevents a heart from love and submissive respect. If your spouse is afraid of you, he or she will have a harder time letting down the defenses that tear each other apart. When it comes to this topic, yes we need to love God enough to obey. But one can act obedient with a closed heart, and that's no good for a marriage either. Marriage is a union, a partnership, and husband and wife need to work together to heal each other and their marriage. Treating marriage problems as a "you need to obey God" issue is not going to heal the hurt between each other. Well Nebula, I think I agree with what you just said. I am shocked that is the case, but it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted March 4, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.76 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.96 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 Cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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