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tom115

Trouble with pastor

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I am 27 and have attended the same small church my whole life but I have really struggled recently with our pastor. He has been at our church for roughly 4 years and I have had questions about him from the beginning. Some strong Christians in our church have left because there have been some issues with him, mainly questions regarding his resume, the fact that he has been married and divorced twice, and that for a few months he was pulling sermons straight from the internet, reading them almost verbatim, and not crediting anyone. I know we all have short comings and I have spoken with him regarding some of these issues and done my best to give him grace and move past them. Lately, however, there have been further issues that are more difficult to address.

 

Last year, he went on a retreat and was supposed to be there for 4 days. However, he left on the first day and went to visit his children (whom he rarely sees). I have no problem with this if he informed anyone of his change of plans, but he did not let anyone at the church know until the treasurer was calculating his receipts and realized the location of the hotel he was in was in a different state. He was confronted about this and told the truth but he did not see how he had done anything wrong (and he still expected the church to pay for the entire trip, which did not happen). 

 

Also, a couple of years ago, he asked me if I was interested in a girl who was new to the congregation. He knew full well I had been dating another girl for sometime (we are engaged now) and needless to say since then my fiance has not really liked him. The girl who he tried to set me up with is now married to him.

 

Most recently, he has called me out in front of other members of the church for disrespecting him. When I asked what he meant, he referred to a joke I made (honestly, it was a harmless joke) and when I requested that we further discuss it alone, he did not want to. I apologized if I had offended him but he did not seem to care. 

 

I have been in prayer about the whole situation and I feel it would be best for my fiance and myself to leave, but I love so many people in the church it is difficult. 

 

Has anyone else been through a situation like this? Any advice?

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Hi there Tom and welcome :grin:

 

In regard to your church issue with the pastor...are there no elders in the church with whom you can discuss this with? thats the path I would take....I don't believe that walking away from a problem will solve it..it needs to be dealt with.

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WIP,

 

Thanks for the reply. I have spoken with an elder and they understood if I felt compelled to leave. Honestly there is weak leadership in our church. There are larger problems than just my personal problems with the pastor. It's a very confusing situation. I know some of the leadership now feels the pastor was the wrong selection and there is not unity. I am trying to do what is right for myself, the pastor, the leadership, and the congregation, but I am not sure what to do now. 

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seems like you need to find another church if the one you're in right now is not being led by a mature person or even a leader

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While some problems are not solved by walking away, there are some problems that need to be walked away from. While I haven't had the option of going to the same church all my life, perhaps this is the Lord's way of letting you know He wants you somewhere else. Churches without strong leadership are dangerous in that they can leave open doors for the enemy to step in and sow division. I'd suggest asking the Lord if He wants you somewhere else, and if so, where?

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While some problems are not solved by walking away, there are some problems that need to be walked away from. While I haven't had the option of going to the same church all my life, perhaps this is the Lord's way of letting you know He wants you somewhere else. Churches without strong leadership are dangerous in that they can leave open doors for the enemy to step in and sow division. I'd suggest asking the Lord if He wants you somewhere else, and if so, where?

If the Holy Spirit is not in the church it will fall anyway. I suggest you pray about this for a while and seek God's will for you, and not for the church. You may be amazed at the answer you get. God has a way of doing things differently to what we expect...

 

I attached this to walla's post because I agree with his last two sentences.

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I am 27 and have attended the same small church my whole life but I have really struggled recently with our pastor. He has been at our church for roughly 4 years and I have had questions about him from the beginning. Some strong Christians in our church have left because there have been some issues with him, mainly questions regarding his resume, the fact that he has been married and divorced twice, and that for a few months he was pulling sermons straight from the internet, reading them almost verbatim, and not crediting anyone. I know we all have short comings and I have spoken with him regarding some of these issues and done my best to give him grace and move past them. Lately, however, there have been further issues that are more difficult to address.

 

Last year, he went on a retreat and was supposed to be there for 4 days. However, he left on the first day and went to visit his children (whom he rarely sees). I have no problem with this if he informed anyone of his change of plans, but he did not let anyone at the church know until the treasurer was calculating his receipts and realized the location of the hotel he was in was in a different state. He was confronted about this and told the truth but he did not see how he had done anything wrong (and he still expected the church to pay for the entire trip, which did not happen). 

 

Also, a couple of years ago, he asked me if I was interested in a girl who was new to the congregation. He knew full well I had been dating another girl for sometime (we are engaged now) and needless to say since then my fiance has not really liked him. The girl who he tried to set me up with is now married to him.

 

Most recently, he has called me out in front of other members of the church for disrespecting him. When I asked what he meant, he referred to a joke I made (honestly, it was a harmless joke) and when I requested that we further discuss it alone, he did not want to. I apologized if I had offended him but he did not seem to care. 

 

I have been in prayer about the whole situation and I feel it would be best for my fiance and myself to leave, but I love so many people in the church it is difficult. 

 

Has anyone else been through a situation like this? Any advice?

I was involved in a situation very similar to this.  The men in our church called a meeting and elected two people to confront the pastor.  But before they had a chance, two others told the pastor, the only victor was the devil, and if it had not been for God's Spirit, that Church would have been completely destroyed. 

 

While some problems are not solved by walking away, there are some problems that need to be walked away from. While I haven't had the option of going to the same church all my life, perhaps this is the Lord's way of letting you know He wants you somewhere else. Churches without strong leadership are dangerous in that they can leave open doors for the enemy to step in and sow division. I'd suggest asking the Lord if He wants you somewhere else, and if so, where?

I agree with Walla, for in the Old Testament we see a time, just before Samuel reign as a judge that Eli's grandchild was called Ichabod meaning the glory has departed, a lot of Churches, forget to Honor God, and by doing so, many times His Glory will depart.

 

 

While some problems are not solved by walking away, there are some problems that need to be walked away from. While I haven't had the option of going to the same church all my life, perhaps this is the Lord's way of letting you know He wants you somewhere else. Churches without strong leadership are dangerous in that they can leave open doors for the enemy to step in and sow division. I'd suggest asking the Lord if He wants you somewhere else, and if so, where?

If the Holy Spirit is not in the church it will fall anyway. I suggest you pray about this for a while and seek God's will for you, and not for the church. You may be amazed at the answer you get. God has a way of doing things differently to what we expect...

 

I attached this to walla's post because I agree with his last two sentences.

 

 

Pray can change so much as Fez has stated, but if there are others as you have said in your church who have notice a problem, I would follow Paul's command prayfully, asking for God's guidance:

18)  For the Scripture saith, Thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the ox that treadeth out the corn: and, the labourer is worthy of his wages.

19)  Against an Elder receive none accusation, but under two or three witnesses.

20)  Them that sin, rebuke openly, that the rest also may fear.

I Timothy 5:18-20

With two or three of you together confront your pastor in a spirit of pray, and as gentle as possible tell him your concerns.  Perhaps he does not realize what is going on.

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Also hello Tom, and welcome to Worthy, will be praying for your situation.

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To understand your situation more information is needed, specifically, Is this a church with a regenerate membership? If the congregation is mostly regenerate (real Christians, not pretenders), then if a pastor is unregenerate or unqualified, he is the one to be expelled, not a regenerate member. --------------- If your local church hired a man who was twice divorced, that raises the question of whether or not you go to a church of regenerate members. How could they hire such a man? Of course, I can't judge merely on that basis, since today a righteous man could be divorced by an ungodly wife -- nothing he could do about it. But the whole situation makes me wonder if your church is of regenerate members. It not, my advice would be that if you are saved, but the general congregation is not, you should find a regenerate church. ---------------- Take your qualifications for elders in 1 Timothy and Titus, does this pastor have those qualifications? (It is clear in the Bible that pastor-teacher is the spiritual gift that corresponds to elder=bishop; I say this from comparing the two and studying 1 Peter 5 where the elder is to pastor. Of course a man can have the gift of pastor-teacher and be disqualified from elder by his behavior.) Is this man "apt to teach"? Parroting sermons from the internet, raises doubt. -------------- Matthew 18 has a procedure for local church sin. Should you follow that? ----------- As to a righteous man leaving a church of sheep that has a wolf for a "pastor": ---------- Proverbs 25:26: As a troubled fountain, and a corrupted spring, So is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.

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