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Im going insane....


fire-heart

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Fire-Heart, I don't have medical issues that keep me at home but I find myself a near prisoner in my house just the same. Not because I can't leave or go find something to do, but simply because "I don't feel like it." Depression and isolation are killers. It sounds like you may be dealing with both. I understand what you mean about prayer seeming ineffective...for me it feels like my prayers often bounce back at me from the ceiling. I also understanding what it's like to have all the time in the world...yet not managing to do anything meaningful with it.

 

Is it possible you are suffering from depression? Talk to your doctor...and don't let yourself be isolated. We need people.

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I been there before thinking and feeling that God left me... (If I to write my story, it go on and on and till tomorrow it won't end I can write a book... hahaha...)

but I was wrong...should not believe the lies of the devil. always feed your Faith starve your doubts.

 

John 14:23

Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.

 

Home not hotel, God won't check out like living in a hotel. He is holy and His word last forever. 

God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? (Number 23:19)

 

1 Corinthians 6:19

Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God?

 

God is faithful. No matter how you feel, He is there with you. His purpose will prevail. Hang in there. HE loves you.

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Okay, I've been there sort of. What you need to do is find a hobby. One that you can do indoors. Try cooking. Or some kind of arts and crafts if that is your thing. Just something that would interest you. Use the internet to learn a new language. Maybe you could take an online course of some sort. Something like that.

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I got ya tell ya I feel for ya bro. When I lost my job and we were stuck with one car, that my husband needed for his job. I wanted to die. So I was stuck at home most of time, cause Charlie needed car for work. I think the neighbors across the street were running away when they saw me. I was so bored I drove them crazy lol. But whats cool is to pass time I walked alot with my camera and took lots of photos of Gods beauty. A good hobby that you can do at home, might be good for you.  :)  like um those things you put together, what are they called models I think.

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Can you go for a short walk?  Even a walk around the block or around your yard might help.  Or open a window and watch the birds or small neighbor children playing--anything that is nature and involves fresh air.  Can you get a pet?  I love to watch fish in a tank.  But our small dogs keep us amused as well.  Cats are always fun to play with and can be very affectionate.

 

So sorry you are having such difficulty.  I don't get out as much anymore either and it is hard.  NCN is indoors a lot too, and there are others who are in great pain and difficulty due to poor health.  So sometimes we have to stop and list the things we can be thankful for, starting with the fact that Jesus died for us.   

 

Blessings,

Willa

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Yes I go one walks a lot thats one of the ways I connect with god.

I do have pets and i draw sometimes. Im doing better today and I get to go hang with my cousins for a few days.

My family is always talking about how I seclude myself in my room and do nothing all day every day but im not I am spending my time getting to know God any way i can even just sitting there doing nothing talking with him. i cant explain to my family what im doing or whats in my heart because not only would they not understand they would make fun of me.

To some ppl faith in Christ is a hobbie or a kind of lifestyle but my love and faith in god is more important to me than even eternal life. If I ever lost him that would be it for me i would have no reason to live and who knows what I would do.

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Hi fire heart,

 

So glad you are feeling better & have time with you cousins. Also to hear that you can go for walks is great.

 

Now you know that many people are driven & are workaholics, perhaps with much money but are time poor. That is they do not utilise their time except to work harder & harder for self esteem motives. You how ever are time rich but are not sure how to spend it . You look at the world & how they are spending their time but obviously God has an important purpose for you to have so much time. Thus I would encourage you to fight that `feelings,` battle against the enemy then as you grow stronger in that area you are getting in the right position in God, (probably more stable in Him) & then He will unfold the things He would have you to do. So keep trusting, fighting the enemy, studying, helping family & then the way will unfold.

 

Now I must emphasise that `helping the family,` in jobs & thankfulness to them for what they do for you speaks louder than any other thing you could say about God. That is the proof of your relationship with Him how you, we treat those close to us.

 

Bless you bro, Marilyn.

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I can't help with the medical problems, but the boredom can be helped by reading good novels.

 

You can download the PC Kindle program and do some searching for the kinds of things you would enjoy.    There must be a hundred thousand or more free books and many many for 99 cents.

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Hi F-H,

I know you're a good guy because when I was ranting about the tornadoes you asked me if I was in danger. So you definitely care about your fellow person. But online, all any of us can do is write to you.

I'm also in a similar situation and I think of suicide way too often. There's only one drug that helps my depression, and it's not an AD med. Therefore the Docs can't give me enough to last all month. So maybe 1/2 the month I feel optimistic, but the other half I wish I was dead. I keep thinking there's a reason God keeps me alive, and I think it's to suffer. I know that's not Biblical, but it makes sense. I'm also almost completely house bound due to over half a dozen physical illnesses. I think the worst is emphysema, and it's my own fault. I need to quit tobacco, but I'm so depressed that in my sick mind, I think I enjoy smoking.

I wish I didn't live so far from you because I can see where we could be buddies and maybe cheer each other up a bit. I look for posts from you when I come here, because I think we have several things in common. Like you, I feel I lost touch with God. And maybe like you, I'm not sure, I don't know anyone in person who seriously believes in God. They would probably all say they believe in God, and I'm sure they do. But don't expect them to do anything different because they believe in God. So I can't speak to them about God. If I do, they probably think "there goes the crazy man ranting again". But I'm not crazy, I just take God seriously.
 

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Hi F-H,

I know you're a good guy because when I was ranting about the tornadoes you asked me if I was in danger. So you definitely care about your fellow person. But online, all any of us can do is write to you.

I'm also in a similar situation and I think of suicide way too often. There's only one drug that helps my depression, and it's not an AD med. Therefore the Docs can't give me enough to last all month. So maybe 1/2 the month I feel optimistic, but the other half I wish I was dead. I keep thinking there's a reason God keeps me alive, and I think it's to suffer. I know that's not Biblical, but it makes sense. I'm also almost completely house bound due to over half a dozen physical illnesses. I think the worst is emphysema, and it's my own fault. I need to quit tobacco, but I'm so depressed that in my sick mind, I think I enjoy smoking.

I wish I didn't live so far from you because I can see where we could be buddies and maybe cheer each other up a bit. I look for posts from you when I come here, because I think we have several things in common. Like you, I feel I lost touch with God. And maybe like you, I'm not sure, I don't know anyone in person who seriously believes in God. They would probably all say they believe in God, and I'm sure they do. But don't expect them to do anything different because they believe in God. So I can't speak to them about God. If I do, they probably think "there goes the crazy man ranting again". But I'm not crazy, I just take God seriously.

 

I understand where you are coming from, i also do not understand why i am alive because this world doesnt have what I want or need. I feel God will not allow me to die there were times when I should have died but didnt. I understand being alive to do his will but in my current situation i can only do little things for him.

 

also ur not alone in your addiction, you are addicted to tobaco right? i am addicted to caffiene. It sounds harmless enough but trust me its anything,but Its gotten so bad it affect my health and if I dont get my fix i go nuts. i have faith God can and will cure me of all things whether thats when I go home or here on earth

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