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Im going insane....


fire-heart

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I am stuck in my house 24/7 because I cannot go anywhere thanks to my medical issues. Because of my medical issues I cannot drive or work so I am trapped in my house. Its the same thing day in and day out the highlight of my day is well now that I think about it I dont really have a highlight of a day.

its a lazy persons paradise I get fed can play video games I have more free time than i need. But I dont have freedom. Most ppl have no idea how blessed they are to be able to work make money go out have the freedom to give to the needy go on mission trips and so on.

What most ppls everyday activities take for granted I would kill for. I have a lazy persons dream but Im not lazy its not my dream. I get depressed a lot because of my imprisionment today I got so depressed I actually for a second thought of suicide- of course I would never do it but death is my only ticket to freedom

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I am stuck in my house 24/7 because I cannot go anywhere thanks to my medical issues. Because of my medical issues I cannot drive or work so I am trapped in my house. Its the same thing day in and day out the highlight of my day is well now that I think about it I dont really have a highlight of a day.

its a lazy persons paradise I get fed can play video games I have more free time than i need. But I dont have freedom. Most ppl have no idea how blessed they are to be able to work make money go out have the freedom to give to the needy go on mission trips and so on.

What most ppls everyday activities take for granted I would kill for. I have a lazy persons dream but Im not lazy its not my dream. I get depressed a lot because of my imprisionment today I got so depressed I actually for a second thought of suicide- of course I would never do it but death is my only ticket to freedom

 

I can feel for you. I've been looking for a job for sometime. I've now got temporary paid work but I'm working online from home, so I'm stuck in the house too. It's a lonely life.

Instead of playing video games give yourself a creative project or hobby to do - something that edifies Christ for example. Something that you can do at home. I don't know what but there are lots of ideas out there.

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Actually, you have more freedom to do His work. The most blessed and powerful people I know in the Lord are those who stand in prayer for others, secretly, behind closed doors. They shine with His Spirit and you know when you meet them they are truly His. You can also spend much more time building a relationship with God, studying His word and gaining the faith you need to make it through this trying time.

Strange how you are feeling bad because you have the time I so long for. I, on the other hand, am so busy that it is hard for me to even get away to relax for one day. I remember when I was in treatment for a year, bed ridden for half that time, too sick to do much of anything the other half. Yet, during this time, I grew closer to the Lord. In comparison, the time I spent housebound had done more for my foundation in Christ than the time I spend with Him lately. Sad, but true.

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I don't know what kind of health issue you have but there are many opportunities out there that you can do while at home and they can be done without necessarily taking a whole lot of effort or energy. Think about what hobbies you like and can possibly make money off of or maybe exploring new things. The sky is the limit.  

 

I believe that God has a reason for everything he allows to happen in the world and in our lives. Perhaps he wants you to put your focus and energy to something specific during this time? prayer always precedes a miracle as my mother likes to say.

 

I pray that God will take your hand through this trial.

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Praying for you..

 

Lord.. I give thanks to you for your faithfulness and loving kindness is new every morning.... You are the great Shepherd and we are your sheep,

you lay down your life for your sheep. Father since you did not spare even Your own Son but gave Him up for us... won't You also graciously give us all things.

We come boldly now to Your throne of grace, we ask for your healing power, we ask for peace and joy to fill this heart overflowing,

Thank you Lord your mercy endures forever, You never forsake or leave your child, even when we do not understand Lord of the circumstances You allowed to happen,

We ask for Your grace that sufficient at all times to help us through and that Your name will be praised and glorified.

In Jesus name we pray. Amen

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Yes hang in there. 

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VH-Funny-Animals-029_zpsf7c071ab.jpg

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I was going through my docs today and found this.

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest
(Mat.11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you
(John 3:16 & John 3:34)

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:2)

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith
(Romans 12:3)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)

Believe God is there just for you..

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thanks everyone for your encouragement. while I like to play an occasional video game i spend at least 80% of my time with god seeking him out anyway I can just hungry to know him much more and to be much more like him. if I spend more than four days away from  him i go through symptoms you go through as a caffiene addict.

However at first for the first year of my faith or so I loved my situation and grew at a rapid pace but slowly yet surely I began not being satisfied with my situation and began growing in faith much slower. Now once summer ends and kids go back to school i will have been saved for 2 years and for a while now I have seen myself in a prison and i have hit some sort of wall in my faith.

 

i am no longer growing hardly at all and my soul has become starved because my hunger for God to know him love him and have him has either become so great that  the amount he gives me is like crumbs or for some unkown purpose he witholds himself from me. i am spiritually starved and it has begun to affect me in strange ways.

My prayers are no longer effective and no ones prayers for me seem to be affective either like something is blocking them entirely. i figured it was my sin so I begged for forgiveness but nothing changed not only do none of my prayers help but no one elses prayers do either and I cant figure out why.

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Hi fire-heart,

 

I can empathise with you as I have chronic fatigue & have had it for nearly 30 years. I have improved over the years but I do spend most of my time at home. I only get energy morning & evening. The afternoons I have to rest & sleep. So like you I felt in a prison. But I have gradually become appreciative of what I do have & I specifically thank God for those things & people, especially here on Worthy.

 

Have you noticed that everyone lacks in some area, - food, home, health, finance, work, family, children, etc etc. This is a damaged world & we are all damaged. The area that we lack, as you so rightly said made you press into the Lord. That is the purpose of God not being Father Christmas to us all. And in the natural you would have to go through a lot of those emotions you talked about.

 

My suggestions to you are -

 

1. Thank the Lord everyday specifically for what you do have.

2. Have a routine for main things to do - hobby, bible study that is going through a subject, book etc. helping in the house, research on the web on a topic.

3. Build a friendship specifically with 2 people  (at Worthy) so you can be helped in your daily walk & with people who are interested in your journey.

 

 

Remember that the Apostle Paul was in prison & think how he was still able to be effective.

Also remember you (we) only have so many days, months, years left & then they will be gone forever. The enemy would try & make you think that you are hard done by & that you are ineffective & that this will go on forever. Lies, lies, all lies from the father of lies.

 

I have seen you around worthy & you are in here trying. It is now important for you, young as you are to get strong against the enemies lies & build.... friendships, scriptural understanding & most of all thankfulness to our precious Saviour. Think how `prison like` it was for Him nailed to that cross when he could have knocked out all the soldiers, not gone through the pain & being totally seemingly useless on that cross. But of course we know better. PTL.

 

 

Blessings, bro. Marilyn.

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