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kool_kid_86

Her Parents Dislike Me Mainly Because I Am Not Christian

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My girlfriend and I started dating about two months ago. We are both 28, just graduated from college and started working in our dream careers, still living with our parents, have strong Asian values, and respect our parents a great deal. We were great friends for about a year before that. While we were friends, her parents warned her not to get close to me. Shortly after we started dating, she told her parents that we were dating and they did not like that idea at all. They lectured her saying that I am not the right person for her because of two reasons:

 

1) I am not a Christian. Ever since we have started dating, I have regularly been attending church every Sunday. In my heart, I know that I will devote myself to the church in time. Both of my parents are Christians, but are not active (they pray when needed, but do not attend church nor do they try to push religion onto me).

 

2) My past. I have had two previous that both lasted for five years but I messed up both of them. I cheated on the first girlfriend with my second girlfriend. I really cared about my second girlfriend but after six years I was feeling too guilty about cheating that I had to break it off. A year later, my current girlfriend and I started dating. Due to this past history, her parents think that I will not be a devoted boyfriend and will most likely cheat again. I know I will not cheat again as we both love each other dearly and I vowed to communicate all of my emotions to my girlfriend.

 

Whenever my girlfriend and I are out together, we tell our parents (it is a respect thing). We don't work in the same company but we often (almost every work day) pick each other up after work and take transit together to get home (we live fairly close to one another). I spend Saturday and Sunday with her too. During these times that we are together, her parents would call her cell every hour asking her when she would come home. When we talk on the phone at night, her parents would come into her room and tell her to go sleep. I have met her parents a few times when we were friends and they are very great and beautiful people. It is just that they think their daughter can find someone who is much more compatible in the sense that they grew up as a Christian and has never cheated before.

 

I don't know what to do about this. I wanted to confront my girlfriend's parents about this and have a conversation about this, but they refuse to speak to me. They even said that they will not attend the wedding! I am planning to speak with various pastors regarding this issue to get some spiritual guidance. In the back of my mind, I did think of breaking up with my girlfriend because of the amount of strain I am putting on her family, but this would be a waste as we connect extremely well together (even as casual friends people thought we were dating). I am fully committed to this girl and willing to do anything to prove to her parents that I am right for her daughter. My parents have no idea what to do, and neither do I. Can anyone offer some advice?

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it's good that you're respectful, but you also need to respect their feelings. it doesn't mean you have to be obedient to their feelings, because at 28, your girlfriend's parents have to let her make her own choices. they are right though, that she should not be dating an unbeliever. the reason is biblical, and it's not anything personal. it's quite simple.... you're far more likely to draw her away from God than she is to draw you TO Him. that is where their concern stems from.

 

your past would be irrelevant (or should be) to them if you were a christian, but you aren't. 

 

still, at her age, they can't (and shouldn't) be demanding that she follow their rules. she's an adult. they've done their job raising her, and now it's her job to either choose Christ for herself or not.

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Welcome~!

~

 

Beloved, It Is Not The Church That Makes One A Christian

 

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. Revelation 3:20

 

It Is Jesus

 

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

 

For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. John 10:9-10

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Hello!

I see that you've come to this forum to ask the Christian community about what you should do. This is a good place to come.

My first advice to you is this: her parents are only looking out for their daughter's best interest, although they might seem less than accepting. 2nd Corinthians 6:14 reads, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?" What Paul means here is that a marriage between a Christian and an unbeliever cannot be what God designed marriage for, because God established the institution of marriage to be a union between two people and Himself-- a three-way partnership with the goal of ultimately glorifying God in all aspects of a couple's life together. A major concern relating to a marriage devoid of God would be the children's spiritual welfare-- the unbelieving parent would likely influence the children adversely. This is why her parents feel the way they do on the matter.

You also said that you know you will eventually devote yourself to the church. My question is, what keeps you from taking that step of faith? Is it that you simply haven't found the faith yet? Are you afraid of the changes that will take place in your everyday life when you accept Jesus? My heart aches for you that you might think this way. Believing on the name of Jesus does not enslave a person; it sets a person free! Let's examine Ephesians 2:1-7, which reads, "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." By turning away from our sinful nature and embracing the way of love, truth, and light, we may lose the support of the secular world, but we gain so much more through the gift Jesus gives us. We don't have to wait until we get to heaven to experience this, either: we will always carry the joy of the way Christ has liberated us in our hearts.

You may not be ready to accept Christ, which is fine, because God has his timing for all of us.

I pray that you will accept Jesus and begin your amazing journey with Him.

Edited by Kenzie
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I could not say it much better than Joe. Church makes you a church goer but unless you come to Jesus and ask Him for forgiveness and accept Him as your Saviour - One who died for your sins you will not be a Christian and your heart will tend to bend with the 'winds' so to speak. Walking with Jesus makes life steady in a world that is in turmoil.

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Thank you for the responses. I understand how important it is for my girlfriend to be dating a Christian. I am slowly working hard at becoming a Christian. At the moment, I am regularly attending church every Sunday. I am not sure what the next steps should be though.

 

 

I have never wanted to accept Jesus because I never had any reasons to live eternally. To be honest, an eternal life would have been torture for me (I have a very long story for this that I will save for another day). In addition, I felt that Christianity was made up (no offense). However, when I met my girlfriend, my views have changed. I want to spend the rest of my time with my girlfriend. And if God and Heaven did exist, I would be unhappy knowing that she would be spending her afterlife without me. As a result, I figured I have nothing to loose if I give Christianity a try.

 

 

I was wondering if there is a way to accelerate my relationship with God other then just regularly attending church? I would like to read the bible with my girlfriend, but as my girlfriend and I do not have much time together, I honestly rather spend that time doing other things with her and read the bible on my own time.

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If you are driving to and from work together get the bible on cd or mp3 and listen to it with her....   start with John,  then the whole new testament.  It only takes 19 hours.

 

Second, I hate to break the news to you, but you are going to live forever no matter what.......   the question is where will you be in eternity.

 

You can pick to let Jesus be the lord of your life and follow his teachings and be with him throughout eternity, or you can reject him and be tormented forever with the devil.     May not seem like a fair deal, but the decision is really up to you.

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Thank you for the responses. I understand how important it is for my girlfriend to be dating a Christian. I am slowly working hard at becoming a Christian. At the moment, I am regularly attending church every Sunday. I am not sure what the next steps should be though.

I have never wanted to accept Jesus because I never had any reasons to live eternally. To be honest, an eternal life would have been torture for me (I have a very long story for this that I will save for another day). In addition, I felt that Christianity was made up (no offense). However, when I met my girlfriend, my views have changed. I want to spend the rest of my time with my girlfriend. And if God and Heaven did exist, I would be unhappy knowing that she would be spending her afterlife without me. As a result, I figured I have nothing to loose if I give Christianity a try.

I was wondering if there is a way to accelerate my relationship with God other then just regularly attending church? I would like to read the bible with my girlfriend, but as my girlfriend and I do not have much time together, I honestly rather spend that time doing other things with her and read the bible on my own time.

I'm glad you've decided to give Jesus a try! I recommend talking with a member of the pastoral staff of the church you have been attending about how to take that next step and begin walking with God in your daily life. You should spend time in prayer, just talking to God and telling him how you are seeking Him out, because the Bible says that those who seek will find. It's important to spend independent time in Bible study and in prayer, but fellowship is also crucial in the development of our faith. Make some friends within the church and talk to some other people about the way you are seeking Jesus so that they can stand by you all the way. Christian friends are a great blessing when tough times come, and as support in our daily life-- my church friends mean the world to me. Ask your girlfriend to make special time to spend in the word of God with you-- your relationship with both God and her will blossom.

I wish you the best, and I will pray for you. God bless, and feel free to message me anytime if you'd like to have a one-on-one.

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Confess with your mouth Jesus Christ is Lord. Repent of your sins(turn away from them) and ask Jesus to come into your heart. Do this as a prayer. You will be so glad you did, if you do.

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Well good luck.  Jesus took away your sin so you should really learn about him.  I am pretty knowledgeable about God if you ever need to speak to someone privately.  

 

1 John 2:2 "He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world."

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