Jump to content
IGNORED

church cancels gay man's funeral


ayin jade

Recommended Posts


  • Group:  Worthy Ministers
  • Followers:  68
  • Topic Count:  185
  • Topics Per Day:  0.04
  • Content Count:  14,204
  • Content Per Day:  3.35
  • Reputation:   16,629
  • Days Won:  30
  • Joined:  08/14/2012
  • Status:  Offline

It sounds like the perfect opportunity to preach a sermon on God demonstrated his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. It would have been a sin to marry them. But I would have made this an opportunity instead. He could even record it and play it for the congregation. He could include the portions in 1 Cor.5:9-11 and 6:9-11 and explain that God expects born again Christians to know right from wrong. But He doesnt condemn the world. He died so that the world could be forgiven. He wants those in the world to agree with Him in what He considers to be sin and to ask God to come into their lives to change their desires and make them a new person in Christ. Then have an alter call.

I would not make this about the dead, but about the living, and would make no specific mention about the deceased except to say he was deeply loved and will be missed. They chose to have it in a church, so they should expect to have a Christian service. I have been to two such funerals that were salvation messages and one wedding. If they want a secular service they should go to a funeral parlor. I had never heard a eulogy at a church funeral until recent years. But I would warn the family, assuming they still came regularly, and gain their cooperation; and tell the boyfriend what kind of a service was planned, giving him the choice to opt out. It would be only fair since he had not informed the pastor of the circumstances.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Worthy Ministers
  • Followers:  44
  • Topic Count:  6,178
  • Topics Per Day:  0.88
  • Content Count:  43,784
  • Content Per Day:  6.23
  • Reputation:   11,227
  • Days Won:  58
  • Joined:  01/03/2005
  • Status:  Offline

The husband of the dead man, who wanted the funeral there, is not a Christian. Would he have permitted the altar call or the evangelical message to the funeral? I doubt it. 

 

 

Since some have said the church should have kept its word and done the funeral, let me ask this. Should the church, which agreed to perform a wedding, have kept their word and done the wedding if they then found out the wedding was between two men or two women when they had assumed it was a man and woman? Is there a point in which the church needs to say sorry "no can do, that would be condoning sin"?

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Worthy Ministers
  • Followers:  68
  • Topic Count:  185
  • Topics Per Day:  0.04
  • Content Count:  14,204
  • Content Per Day:  3.35
  • Reputation:   16,629
  • Days Won:  30
  • Joined:  08/14/2012
  • Status:  Offline

The husband of the dead man, who wanted the funeral there, is not a Christian. Would he have permitted the altar call or the evangelical message to the funeral? I doubt it. 

 

 

Since some have said the church should have kept its word and done the funeral, let me ask this. Should the church, which agreed to perform a wedding, have kept their word and done the wedding if they then found out the wedding was between two men or two women when they had assumed it was a man and woman? Is there a point in which the church needs to say sorry "no can do, that would be condoning sin"?

If he did not want this kind of service, then he could cancel at the last minute [and not make it all a publicity stunt].  But the arrangements were left to the pastor.  I would treat him kindly and compassionately but tell him that he had asked the pastor to make the arrangements and hold a church service, which is what he had done.  He could continue with the burial service and exclude the church service should he not be able to make other arrangements.   It would be his choice.

 

In our state no pastor is require to perform a gay wedding.  Since he would have known from the application for the marriage license and at least from the rehearsal that this was a gay wedding, he would have been able to cancel.  But our church requires several months of pre marriage counseling prior to the wedding and none are performed without it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Worthy Ministers
  • Followers:  44
  • Topic Count:  6,178
  • Topics Per Day:  0.88
  • Content Count:  43,784
  • Content Per Day:  6.23
  • Reputation:   11,227
  • Days Won:  58
  • Joined:  01/03/2005
  • Status:  Offline

 

The husband of the dead man, who wanted the funeral there, is not a Christian. Would he have permitted the altar call or the evangelical message to the funeral? I doubt it. 

 

 

Since some have said the church should have kept its word and done the funeral, let me ask this. Should the church, which agreed to perform a wedding, have kept their word and done the wedding if they then found out the wedding was between two men or two women when they had assumed it was a man and woman? Is there a point in which the church needs to say sorry "no can do, that would be condoning sin"?

If he did not want this kind of service, then he could cancel at the last minute [and not make it all a publicity stunt].  But the arrangements were left to the pastor.  I would treat him kindly and compassionately but tell him that he had asked the pastor to make the arrangements and hold a church service, which is what he had done.  He could continue with the burial service and exclude the church service should he not be able to make other arrangements.   It would be his choice.

 

In our state no pastor is require to perform a gay wedding.  Since he would have known from the application for the marriage license and at least from the rehearsal that this was a gay wedding, he would have been able to cancel.  But our church requires several months of pre marriage counseling prior to the wedding and none are performed without it.

 

 

A gay couple could easily deceive a pastor if one dressed as a female. I have a first name that could be male or female. So a pastor might not know from a marriage license. 

 

However my question was not answered. 

 

Since some have said the church should have kept its word and done the funeral, let me ask this. Should the church, which agreed to perform a wedding, have kept their word and done the wedding if they then found out the wedding was between two men or two women when they had assumed it was a man and woman? Is there a point in which the church needs to say sorry "no can do, that would be condoning sin"?

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Worthy Ministers
  • Followers:  29
  • Topic Count:  593
  • Topics Per Day:  0.08
  • Content Count:  55,875
  • Content Per Day:  7.55
  • Reputation:   27,625
  • Days Won:  271
  • Joined:  12/29/2003
  • Status:  Offline

I would think in this day and time one should ask if the wedding is single sex or not before agreeing to hold it in the Church.

 

BTW, I never said what kind of ceremony I would have at a funeral for a gay person....    they would not want me to do that.

 

I attended the funeral of an uncle of mine that was about the most evil person you could dream of......   and I've seen my share of evil in this world.....       The preacher stood up and looked at my two cousins (his sons) for a moment and made the following statement.......   "Jim.......   Monty.....    I want you to know that your father is burning in Hell at this very moment and if you don't change something drastically you will both join him in the not too distant future".     He went on to talk about both the very little good my uncle had done and a huge amount of outright evil including killing people.   My uncle was beaten to death in an alley late at night and it was a fitting passing...

 

I think I could have given them a funeral service they would never forget had they decided to have the service in my church.......   but I would have warned them ahead of time and let them decide if they wanted to change or not.

Deal with evil with total reality...   call it what it is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Worthy Ministers
  • Followers:  28
  • Topic Count:  338
  • Topics Per Day:  0.05
  • Content Count:  15,676
  • Content Per Day:  2.46
  • Reputation:   8,497
  • Days Won:  39
  • Joined:  10/25/2006
  • Status:  Offline
  • Birthday:  02/27/1985

The husband of the dead man, who wanted the funeral there, is not a Christian. Would he have permitted the altar call or the evangelical message to the funeral? I doubt it.

It doesn't matter. If it was me I'd tell him ahead of time this is what I'm saying if he has a problem with it they cab take the funeral elsewhere. I think its more then fair to expect a church to honor their commitment-but you can't expect them to not preach the gospel

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Royal Member
  • Followers:  3
  • Topic Count:  683
  • Topics Per Day:  0.12
  • Content Count:  11,128
  • Content Per Day:  2.01
  • Reputation:   1,352
  • Days Won:  54
  • Joined:  02/03/2009
  • Status:  Offline
  • Birthday:  12/07/1952

So how do you do a service in this case? The husband would expect to be mentioned. Should the church which does not condone gay marriage be forced to acknowledge such a thing? Can they give a beautiful funeral for the friends and family if they pretend the man was not married? How do they address his gay lifestyle, his husband, his friends etc? 

 

I can see pros and cons to having and not having this funeral in the church. It was not an easy thing for the church. Pretty much a lose-lose situation. I also do not see how they could have used it as a witness. The husband would likely have been offended by it. 

 

I can see this being used by the pro homosexuality lawyers to force churches to serve the gay population with anything they want, to deny the churches the right of refusal to perform gay marriages, gay funerals etc.

Preach God's love for everyone. Preach that it is never too late to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior.

 

Tell the truth as it it is written.

 

A wonderful opportunity for witnessing to the lost was lost. Would Jesus have not done this?

 

Our church conducted a service for a non believer who committed suicide, and afterwards I had a hardened atheist approach me and say that she had never heard the bible explained with such clarity and compassion before. (we gave no false hope, just preached the truth). 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How is a funeral-going to bring that gay man to heaven? It won't. That's foolishness. It can however plant seeds in everyone who attended the service. If we refuse to preach a funeral of a unrepentant sinner-then we should just say no to all funerals of anyone who isn't saved. I mean seriously if were to good to keep our word-and preach the gospel at a funeral to those that need it-how are we supposed to reach the world for Christ?

Let the dead bury their dead.

 

jesse.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Butero

I think Ayin Jade makes an excellent point with regard to a marriage ceremony.  I would have done the same thing the church did, cancel the funeral.  This is a conscience issue and I believe they did the right thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Members
  • Followers:  0
  • Topic Count:  6
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  76
  • Content Per Day:  0.02
  • Reputation:   5
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  07/31/2014
  • Status:  Offline

Gay or not, we are all children of God and all need love. I think it's wrong what they did. I don't think Jesus would do so.

 

 

As nice as that may sound to say, it is not so.  God is not a father to those who are in flagrant disobedience to His word and have not become His children through

faith in Christ Jesus His Son.

 

Jesus does not, never has and would not condone sin.  Homosexuality is sin.  

 

How is it loving to support a sinful lifestyle?

 

The Bible does not support a homosexual lifestyle; rather, homosexuals who desire to continue in sin, improvise scritpure that they twist to support their sin

and ignore scripture that decries their practices.

 

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.  Galatians 6:7

God may not like the life he lived or be happy about the sin, but he loves us regardless of our sin. Loves us regardless of not having yet 'found him' yet and he will always be everyone's heavenly father.

I do believe most people are born gay for some reason (I think it came about after Adam and Eve sinned personally), so it's up to The Lord to free of us of that if he chooses to.

We do not know if the gay man had not tried to come to Christ and stop the sin. Maybe he wasn't successful and had died before being free of that sin.

It's not our place to judge other people

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...