deevums Posted September 14, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 4 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/14/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted September 14, 2014 Hi everyone, This is my first post. I came to this site because I need prayer and advice. To make a long story short I've been suffering from bipolar depression for over ten years. I took an antidepressant that made me feel happy, although not completely managed (I still had manic tendencies). I had no idea I was bipolar and wanted to wean off drugs, because I thought I was just depressed. I was so wrong. After trying to wean off and then going back on the antidepressant, it stopped working and made me so anxious I wound up in the hospital. It has been a ten month journey to find new medication that works. I now know that I am bipolar. During manic phases over several years I had multiple sexual partners, all while I was dating my husband. I have severe guilt over this. He does not know and it would destroy us and our 3 children. I am terrified that I will reveal this to him and our family will be ruined. I feel like the enemy is condemning me for this. It was over 13 years ago and I never resolved the guilt. I know God does not want our family to be hurt. I live with this guilt every day. I pray constantly that God remove the pain but it stays. I don't know what else to do but suffer and pray that someday I will find the right medicine to make me feel better and not so guilty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted September 14, 2014 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 596 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,064 Content Per Day: 7.55 Reputation: 27,816 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted September 14, 2014 Hi everyone, This is my first post. I came to this site because I need prayer and advice. To make a long story short I've been suffering from bipolar depression for over ten years. I took an antidepressant that made me feel happy, although not completely managed (I still had manic tendencies). I had no idea I was bipolar and wanted to wean off drugs, because I thought I was just depressed. I was so wrong. After trying to wean off and then going back on the antidepressant, it stopped working and made me so anxious I wound up in the hospital. It has been a ten month journey to find new medication that works. I now know that I am bipolar. During manic phases over several years I had multiple sexual partners, all while I was dating my husband. I have severe guilt over this. He does not know and it would destroy us and our 3 children. I am terrified that I will reveal this to him and our family will be ruined. I feel like the enemy is condemning me for this. It was over 13 years ago and I never resolved the guilt. I know God does not want our family to be hurt. I live with this guilt every day. I pray constantly that God remove the pain but it stays. I don't know what else to do but suffer and pray that someday I will find the right medicine to make me feel better and not so guilty. Your sexual relations before marriage really isn't breaking any real commitment to your husband..... it's God and yourself that you need to get any forgiveness from....... as for your husband, what commitment have you broken with him. Don't break up your marriage and hurt your kids over things you did before you were a family.... but you do need to get with God and find some way to forgive yourself before it destroys you..... you think you have sinned against your husband but in reality you have sinned against yourself and God...... don't punish your husband for your folly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fez Posted September 14, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 683 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 11,128 Content Per Day: 2.00 Reputation: 1,352 Days Won: 54 Joined: 02/03/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/07/1952 Share Posted September 14, 2014 I don't know what else to do but suffer and pray that someday I will find the right medicine to make me feel better and not so guilty. Hi and welcome to Worthy! The right medicine for your guilt and self abasement is Jesus. There is no medicine you can take that will wash away guilt and self doubt except being on your knees in prayer. For your medical condition I pray that Jesus guides the doctors to the right medicine for you. Do you attend a church and do you have access to a Christian counselor? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deevums Posted September 14, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 4 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/14/2014 Status: Offline Author Share Posted September 14, 2014 Yes I've been going to the same church for 20 years and see a therapist. I also called to have a Stephen minister, who is someone trained to come and pray with you. I can only pray that I feel better before it's too late. I wake up with a knot in my stomach every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deevums Posted September 14, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 4 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/14/2014 Status: Offline Author Share Posted September 14, 2014 I should also mention there was cheating after we were married too. Antidepressants suppressed the guilt for many years and as soon as I went off the guilt came flooding back and hasn't left. I would rather die than hurt my family. I understand it's keeping a secret but I have to for my family's sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien224 Posted September 14, 2014 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 82 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,762 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 869 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/09/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/24/1964 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Praying that God would heal your heart change your life and save your marriage. Just talk with Jesus and he will put things in order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeauJangles Posted September 14, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 44 Topic Count: 229 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 10,900 Content Per Day: 2.93 Reputation: 12,145 Days Won: 68 Joined: 02/13/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/14/1954 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Welcome to Worthy, deevums... Praying for you. Shalom God bless, David/BeauJangles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enoob57 Posted September 14, 2014 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 35 Topic Count: 99 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 41,142 Content Per Day: 7.98 Reputation: 21,438 Days Won: 76 Joined: 03/13/2010 Status: Online Birthday: 07/27/1957 Share Posted September 14, 2014 When you invite the Lord of Creation "Jesus" into your heart you will become a new person unfettered with guilt! Prayed... Love, Steven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deevums Posted September 15, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 4 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/14/2014 Status: Offline Author Share Posted September 15, 2014 I accepted Jesus when I was a little girl. I pray to Him all the time to take away my guilt but it lingers still. I have to keep praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeespiller87 Posted September 15, 2014 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 212 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 1,691 Content Per Day: 0.31 Reputation: 449 Days Won: 1 Joined: 03/28/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted September 15, 2014 Hi its nice to meet you. I know that God can heal your hurt and take that guilt away Romans 8:1 tells us In Christ Jesus is no condemnation. Don't let the enemy steal your joy. People hear are praying for you. God loves you and your family. He has a plan and it is good trust that. Even when it feels like God is distant or isnt active He is don't fall for lies from Satan. God can make unholy vessels (you and me) Holy again. You are beloved to the Lord and He wants to help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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