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Warrior777

Remarriage after divorce

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Are you reiterating your comparison?

 

It's not in the Bible...it may be your personal belief, but it is not in the Bible.  That comparison is not in the Bible. and so on

 

Oh, I use scripture all the time....but I prefer to keep it in context

 

 

BTW, I am not angry or hurt or offended...not all all...

Good point Seven. :thumbsup:

"We must not seek to bind the consciences of other Believers with the private convictions that arise out of our personal walk with God. Even if you believe God has led you in developing those convictions, you still must not elevate them to the level of spiritual principles for everyone else to follow." - Jerry Bridges

 

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I simply no longer believe God expects us to stay with a spouse that is unfaithful to the marriage covenant and I believe there are more ways then one to break that covenant

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I have stayed away from this thread because it is personal for me. However, it seems that people love talking in hypothetical situations these days. But this is real and affects real people with real feelings. So let me put a face to this conversation so people don't have to use a hypothetical.

 

My situation with this is simple. When me and my now ex-wife got married she was following no religion and I was a satanist. During our marriage I got saved, she did not. Long story short, she left me telling me she had been sleeping with other people and wanted to be with one of them and also she didn't agree with Christianity, she wanted to follow Wicca or witchcraft as most would call it. I begged her to stay and she would not. After a few years, she decided she wanted to marry another guy she had hooked up with, which meant she needed to divorce me. I fought the divorce but she went through with it and divorced me against my will. I am a single Father of 2 kids ( yes I got the kids ) if I was to find someone and remarry, would it be a sin? Why or Why not.

 

I ask for responses but I am not sure if I will respond much because of this being so personal for me. I  hope everyone understands. 

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As your wife committed adultery, even the naysayers against divorce would agree you can remarry.  In fact many would state adultery is THE reason for being allowed to divorce

and remarry.

 

The Bible also states that if the unbeliever wishes to leave...let them...Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.  I Cor 7:15

 

However, I have no problem with you wanting her to stay...I can understand that.

 

That's the black and white answer...and this is not hypothetical for many here..

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Yes

 

And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."  Matthew 19:9 (NASB)

 

Yes, I Think You Can

 

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18

 

~

 

I have stayed away from this thread because it is personal for me. However, it seems that people love talking in hypothetical situations these days. But this is real and affects real people with real feelings. So let me put a face to this conversation so people don't have to use a hypothetical.

 

My situation with this is simple. When me and my now ex-wife got married she was following no religion and I was a satanist. During our marriage I got saved, she did not. Long story short, she left me telling me she had been sleeping with other people and wanted to be with one of them and also she didn't agree with Christianity, she wanted to follow Wicca or witchcraft as most would call it. I begged her to stay and she would not. After a few years, she decided she wanted to marry another guy she had hooked up with, which meant she needed to divorce me. I fought the divorce but she went through with it and divorced me against my will. I am a single Father of 2 kids ( yes I got the kids ) if I was to find someone and remarry, would it be a sin? Why or Why not.

 

I ask for responses but I am not sure if I will respond much because of this being so personal for me. I  hope everyone understands. 

 

:thumbsup:

 

Personally,

 

and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.” Mark 10:12 (NASB)

 

I Believe

 

Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15

 

God Is The Number One Romantic Both In

 

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. Genesis 2:21-22

 

And Out Of This Universe

 

And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him: And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads. Revelation 22:3-4

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I know that if I am wrong on the following then there are plenty of mature knowledgable christians on here to correct me and I always welcome correction when I am shown to be wrong. 
I know we are all human and can make mistakes at times.  I am not talking about those who make a mistake that they truely repent of and would never do again.  I know there have been times when I have got angry over something my husband has said or done and then later realised I was wrong.

 I have always looked to the bible to guide me on how we are to treat our family members and what is godly behaviour toward them.  One verse that has always struck me as powerful over this is: 1Ti 5:8  But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.  I am no Greek scholar but Strongs definition of the term 'provide not for' is:

 

προνοέω
pronoeō
pron-o-eh'-o
From G4253 and G3539; to consider in advance, that is, look out for beforehand (active voice by way of maintenance for others; middle voice by way of circumspection for oneself): - provide (for).  This suggests to me that we should always have the welfare and wellbeing of our family first and formost in our thinking and actions toward them.  I do understand we all make mistakes and are not perfect yet so I am not talking about someone who has made a dreadful mistake and is turely repentant and would never do it again but two questions do occur to me over this verse:

1) Is someone who is committing adultery truely looking out for family first?

2) Is somone who is abusing their family truely looking out for their family first?

To be honest I don't see how they could be.  If that is the case then this verse does tell us that they have denied the faith and anyone that denies the faith is an unbeliever no matter what they call themselves.  Their fruits have given them away as to what they truely are in their hearts.  Jesus does back us up in this when he tells us the two great commandments: Mat 22:37  Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
Mat 22:38  This is the first and great commandment. Mat 22:39  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.


Is abuse showing love for your family? No it is not.  Is adultery showing love for your spouse/family?  No it is not.  Abuse and adultery do not show the fruit of the Spirit either: Gal 5:22  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,Gal 5:23  Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law; Eph 5:9  (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth).  What is good and righteous about abuse and adultery?  Nothing.  So if I am right then an abuser or an adulterer is denying the faith and no more than an unbeliever trying to pretend to be a believer so in that case this verse would apply: 1Co 7:15  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

 

I do believe that Jesus gives us the verses about divorce as He knows that the reasons for divorce can, often, can lead us away from Him and all Gods promises.

 

These are just my own opinions fwiw.

   


   
    



 

Edited by Nyoka

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The 1 Cor. 7:15-16 passage is the basis of my thought. If the spouse has left you and married another, was that person a believer and have they continued in the faith (he who endures to the end shall be saved). It would seem to me that if they were an unbeliever, you are free to remarry. (In such case the believing spouse is no longer bound to the other.)

The problem is that a person who has been so deeply wronged has a lot of baggage to bring into the next marriage, and will need Christian counseling quite often. Our baptist pastor married a woman who had been divorsed under such circustances. They went through years of counseling to work it all out. He also was having trouble being ordained because he had married a divorsed woman. But it was decided in favor of ordination on the basis of her innocence in the situation leaving her free to remarry.

Willa

 

Thanks for your reply.

The case you are talking about in Cor. is a clear case of an unbeliever leaving, so divorce is permitted here but does it automatically imply that remarriage is allowed in this circumstance? It doesn't really say. It just speaks about not being bound to the unbeliever anymore (unequally yoked) in a covenant. If combined with the scripture in Matt 5 it doesn't seem that it indicates a freedom to remarry unless there was also adultery involved with that unbelieving spouse?

It seems to me if a person is no longer bound by a covenant, she is them free to remarry. If a person marrys some who is in covenant with another there would be adultry. But where there is no longer a covenant there can't be adultry. That is how my mind is reading it.

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There is no simple answer. Was the bible created for man or man for the bible? According to Paul the things that were written down were for our learning. When I was immature in my faith I was very perverse and legalistic in my application of the scriptures to any life situation. Everything God did has been out of love as God is love. There is a time to marry, a time to divorce, a time to remarry as well as a time to stay unmarried after divorce. Love is the answer. One might think that divorce and remarriage can never be the way of love. Let that one alone to live by their conscience. For them to do so cannot be love. Love has done a great many things. Love sent a whole nation into captivity and dispersed among the nations. Love flooded a world to save 8 people alive. Love knows when to say when. Love knows when to say yes or no. Follow after love in everything. We live in perilous times and love demands we act according to the best interest of all involved including ourselves. So whatever we do with marriage, divorce and remarriage it must be done in love. Let no man tell you that you cannot do what love demands because of some silly legalistic narrow view of God through a personal perception of scripture viewed as dogma because they think so. Live according to love as God gives you ability. Wouldn't it be grand if no one ever divorced? God bless all who marry!

 

I get what you are saying and in many cases things need to be balanced out, but this is very dangerous ground you are walking on with this. What does legalistic really mean? Yes we do need to do everything in love, but we need to do it with God's will and word in mind - always! Love demands to follow scripture - God's will - to the best way we can, especially where scripture is known for a matter:

 

John 14:15, 21 

If you love Me, keep My commandments.

He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.

 

 

John 15:10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

1 John 5:1-3 Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves Him who begot also loves him who is begotten of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.

 

This is written all over the Bible. God really emphasizes to keep scripture, by this we know that we are walking in Love. If we are not "legalistic" the way I understand it you are using the term, then we can very easily be off track and on a dangerous course where our deceived and sometimes wicked hearts lead us to, especially when our minds are not renewed and we think we are walking in love, so it must be the right way, so let's take scripture not so seriously (it's an easy pitfall this way).... - In the end we have to be guided by/through (rightly applied!) scripture to be in the will of God, because that's were the will of God is known and should we get a personal word from God, it still has to line up with scripture.

 

Again, scripture is very clear when divorce is allowed, that was not so much my original question (except the one about the remarried couples). Any other way or form that we veer away from that or make up our own rules (when and what is allowed and create special cases) we are in danger of walking off the path into sin.

And this is why I started this thread, to find out the truth behind the issue of remarriage so not to veer off into a path that is out of God's will, not only for me, but most likely millions of others that are confronted with the same questions (who also want to do the right thing), since with this issue of remarriage it is not so clear in some cases, but it is very clear in others (e.g.divorce) and where that is known we have to abide by it, because if we don't, then we are actually walking OUTSIDE of Love - since the opposite is also true:" He who does not keep my commandments does NOT love Me and is NOT abiding in My love!"

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this one is too easy
 
For the woman which hath an husband is bound by thelaw to her husband so long as he liveth; but if thehusband be dead, she is loosed from the law of herhusband.
Romans 7:3So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if herhusband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

 

 

So then, what if her husband commits adultery, is she then loosed from the law of her husband? And then if so, is she allowed to remarry while her husband is still alive?

If the woman commits adultery, can the husband loose her from his law and then marry another while his wife is still alive?

What if nobody had committed adultery in that case and the wife had left and divorced the husband, is he free to remarry? What if the husband had just left and divorced her, is she then free to remarry?

(For the previous case): What if the wife had remarried, is he free to remarry? What if the husband had remarried already after the divorce is she free to remarry?

 

The answers have to line up with all known scriptures - Still that easy?...

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Sin leads to Hell and death. We should not willfully sin after receiving knowledge of the truth. However, I will not ask who ascends or descends. I am not the deciding factor for one's salvation. However, you should have clean hands and a pure heart. You should also work out your salvation with fear and trembling... no?

Divorce is not adultery. We are talking about remarriage and what is adultery. 

Although this is a sensitive issue, there is a simple answer. And Jesus gives it. He did not say it's complicated when asked, did He?

 

 

The issue is in evaluating this discussion on marriage, divorce, and re-marriage one must take a look at the entire flow of Scripture.

Again, let me rephrase my question.

If a person divorces and re-marries yet they claim Jesus Christ as Savior are they going to face eternal death (hell)?

God bless,

GE

 

 

 

I think I already answered this question several times in my posts and answers to others, please reread my posts for it, thanks.

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