Vanessa04 Posted September 19, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 12 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/11/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/04/1993 Share Posted September 19, 2014 I don't even know how to explain what I feel anymore. My life has changed much since last December. I went to Colombia for 3 weeks and I've always been a questioner about life but this time is was to the extreme. I questioned my own existence and couldn't shake from it..I couldn't recognize my surroundings nor my family.. I thought once I came back home(Tampa) I would snap out of it and be back to normal but it got worse! Now it's been following me 9 months and stronger than ever..I feel as though I'm looking through life in a third person, like I'm someone else but still in my old body? I remember my childhood but it's so hard to accept that it was me..I know my family by memory and my son but it's all surreal to me now..I feel numb and everyday my mind just wonders non stop, why this, why that, is God this, is Jesus that..I can't remember the last time I had a normal happy day..I try to pray but I can't seem to find my happiness, it's like I got used to being like this that it became my normal..but I'm going crazy it seems, I just want to live my life normal, love God, love myself, love my family, my son and enjoy life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFP Posted September 19, 2014 Group: Senior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 732 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 91 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/31/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/24/1969 Share Posted September 19, 2014 Were you injured? Suffer a head injury? If not...then here are my thoughts. Confess your sins, ask God to reveal the ones you don't know or recall. Claim the blood of Jesus over yourself, your family and your home property. Ask to be cleansed and believe that The Lord will deliver you. It sounds like you let something in, opened a door that perhaps you shouldn't have. Sounds very oppressive to me. God is Good! He heals and delivers. All we need to do is open our heart. Ask Him to show you what is causing the problem and He will. It could be an item you bought.... You will overcome this, and be back to yourself. Just ask your Heavenly Father to reveal it to you. Been where you are. Trust Him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFP Posted September 19, 2014 Group: Senior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 732 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 91 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/31/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/24/1969 Share Posted September 19, 2014 Vanessa I just read another thread of yours. You have a two year old son and this started a year ago for you. Have you looked into postpartum depression? It can start a year after giving birth. Perhaps that is what went wrong. Anxiety and depression are hard to beat on your own. Have you seen a doctor for these issues. So many things can be at play here, from depression, to hormonal issues, to spiritual issues. And being a thinker as you are doesn't help. Just putting some ideas out there. I hope you find some answers and feel better soon. Will be praying for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanessa04 Posted September 19, 2014 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 12 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/11/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/04/1993 Author Share Posted September 19, 2014 No..not at all, I went through a surgery though, don't know if that shook my reality state of mind and also past things in my life all just hit me at once, but I've gone so far gone that I just feel like an empty soul, even when I pray I still have this doubt and emptiness in my heart and mind telling me I'm never going to get better but how I wish would..I wish my faith stronger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Openly Curious Posted September 19, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 4,568 Content Per Day: 0.69 Reputation: 770 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/18/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted September 19, 2014 I don't even know how to explain what I feel anymore. My life has changed much since last December. I went to Colombia for 3 weeks and I've always been a questioner about life but this time is was to the extreme. I questioned my own existence and couldn't shake from it..I couldn't recognize my surroundings nor my family.. I thought once I came back home(Tampa) I would snap out of it and be back to normal but it got worse! Now it's been following me 9 months and stronger than ever..I feel as though I'm looking through life in a third person, like I'm someone else but still in my old body? I remember my childhood but it's so hard to accept that it was me..I know my family by memory and my son but it's all surreal to me now..I feel numb and everyday my mind just wonders non stop, why this, why that, is God this, is Jesus that..I can't remember the last time I had a normal happy day..I try to pray but I can't seem to find my happiness, it's like I got used to being like this that it became my normal..but I'm going crazy it seems, I just want to live my life normal, love God, love myself, love my family, my son and enjoy life.Hi Vanessa, Sorry to hear you are having a hard time of things. All I can say is living life inside of our bodies our earthly house isn't always easy because the suffering we go through in this life is painful to go through. You said you feel as though you are looking at life through a third person. Sometimes things gets too overwhelming for us and it becomes or so it seems easier to escape actually living in our body because it hurts. Our minds kind of stays on the outside of our body escaping the pain we feel making it hard for us to live in the present our minds are trying to protect us from the pain. I can't say what it is or has caused your pain which can make one not feel safe living inside their own body and your mind to escape and live on the outside looking in so to speak in the third person being numb and lacking feelings. But I can say that God can give you comfort in your pain and suffering you have in this life instead of escaping and dissociating. Read your bible in 2 Corinthians 4 & 5 it gives insight into our earthly house or body we live inide of at present. It tells about our hope of our eternal house that no more will feel the pain and suffering or the insecurites that make us feel unsafe living within our own flesh and blood bodies. But our eternal body or home will be safe forever to live inside of it and no longer feel the need to escape the pain in our current life we will be safe within it forever. No dissociative disorders or third person depersonalization will be over there. That is our blessed hope. God can help us to live in the present and help us not to escape feelings that have been unpleasant to deal with for whatever reason that caused them. I hope this has helped in some way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted September 19, 2014 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,029 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,770 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted September 19, 2014 I really need to ask the most obvious question......  what did you do in Columbia....  who did you meet..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayin jade Posted September 19, 2014 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 44 Topic Count: 6,178 Topics Per Day: 0.88 Content Count: 43,793 Content Per Day: 6.22 Reputation: 11,241 Days Won: 58 Joined: 01/03/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted September 19, 2014 What other one asked ...  And in addition, when, where (in columbia?) and what type of surgery did you have? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTC Posted September 19, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 18 Topic Count: 200 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 2,795 Content Per Day: 0.65 Reputation: 1,502 Days Won: 1 Joined: 06/25/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/26/1952 Share Posted September 19, 2014 I have to ask another important question. Have you taken any kind of Entheogenics, and I mean as a medication. A popular one in southern countries is Ibogaine, and adherents swear it can cure all kinds of things from depression to addiction. They call them Entheogens, but it's another word for hallucinogens. They were experimented with in the 1960's and after more failure than success they were made illegal. Now they're coming back, especially for PTSD. Just to be clear, I'm talking about drugs like LSD, Mescaline, Psychedelic Mushrooms, and many more. I experimented with them when I was 18 - 22 and the feeling of depersonalization after they wear off is very common. I'm not saying you might have used 1 trying to have fun. I'm wondering if you used one because someone promised you a cure to something? Eventually the depersonalization wears off. But it can take months.  If you didn't do this, maybe you should look for a psychotherapist. Try to find a Christian or at least a person who believes in God. I'm not saying a psychiatrist, because they use meds right away. Even mild meds may make you worse. I once experienced mild depersonalization from Lunesta, the popular sleeping drug. The next day I just didn't feel like me. It's a scary feeling.  Did you feel this before you went to Columbia? Can you explain anything more about what's going on in your life, or not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayin jade Posted September 19, 2014 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 44 Topic Count: 6,178 Topics Per Day: 0.88 Content Count: 43,793 Content Per Day: 6.22 Reputation: 11,241 Days Won: 58 Joined: 01/03/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted September 19, 2014   Have you taken any kind of Entheogenics, and I mean as a medication.  I had to google this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloe_fantastic Posted September 19, 2014 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 22 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 868 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 221 Days Won: 2 Joined: 06/09/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/17/1981 Share Posted September 19, 2014 First thing I'd do is see a doctor to rule out anything physical... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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