Not sure what to do... (advice needed)

[shas456]

I am a seventeen year old girl. Despite being a public school student who is surrounded by peer pressure and negativity all the time, I have managed to truly maintain my Christian ideals and beliefs. Not only this, but I came from an abusive home that was not religious at all (both of my parents are drug addicts) and I prayed every single day for a way out and took comfort in reading the Bible. I was finally put into a new home, but my situation isn't much better than it was before. But I still haven't lost faith and I refuse to. I trust God and I know that He has a plan for me and that He is all the strength I need. According to statistics I should have dropped out of high school or been on the street by now, but instead I am one of the top 10 in my class. It seems like in these modern times teenagers are so obsessed with sex, and I actually get mocked and bullied at my school for remaining a virgin and wanting to wait until I am married and for studying all the time as well. I have set high standards for myself and I will accept nothing less. I also refuse to listen to anyone who tries to convince me that what I'm doing (pushing myself and studying all the time) is stupid or that my faith in God is pointless. So now that you know a little bit of my background, here is my issue. Five months ago I started dating someone. He used to be a very religious Christian but he fell in with the wrong crowd and became addicted to drugs and sex. I pretty much picked him up at his lowest point, and tried to help him overcome everything and his problems, as he has been through a lot. He is a work in progress, but he is getting better and I have noticed a significant change in him. I finally convinced him to open up to his family about what was going on and seek help for his drug addiction and other things. But I believe (unlike most of the individuals I know who are of my age group) that you should not be with someone if marriage is not the ultimate goal. I have an internal conflict when it comes to my current relationship. I care for him very much, but sometimes I ask myself if I can really accept the fact that I won't be his first for anything. I have purposefully saved myself to marry someone who possesses the same moral values and level of self respect as I do, someone who wants to wait until marriage, someone who is a Christian. And here I am, having trouble accepting that he will never be that. I don't really know what I should do because I care for him, and I am trying to help him to get better and become the person I know he can be, but at the same time the internal conflict and questioning of "Is this what I really want?" are boiling inside of me. I need some guidance because I have no idea what to do at this point.

Anyway, if you read all of this thank you!

I appreciate your time! God bless!

[Guest]

Welcome~!

~

 

Praying~!

[rontiger]

welcome

 

even the second man to walk on the moon, Buzz Aldrin, took Eucharist and read John 15:5 right after they landed on the moon in 1969! No one on Earth can do anything good without Jesus' help.

 

find a good evangelical church with  a good pastor and talk to a women's group leader about your important concerns

take care

[OneLight]

Those who come out of hard situations have a tendency to want to help others, feeling it is what they should be doing.  While this is a great opportunity to show His love, keep in mind that you can support others without having a relationship with them.  Being as young as you are, also realize that your dedication to help may cause you to believe that any relationship is more than what it is.

 

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders ... take the time to filter through your feelings and understand where they come from and what they are.  Be wise and check the direction you are going with scripture.

 

Welcome to Worthy!

[Littlelambseativy]

Welcome to Worthy!! I noticed that you said 'you care for him' but you did not say 'love him' Stay your original course, finish school as far as you can or desire to go and God will provide for you the right young man who will make you happy.

[OakWood]

Care for him, but you don't need to be in a relationship with him. You don't need to marry somebody who is vulnerable and in need of help. Maybe your own background is making you feel that this is what you need to do. In my opinion you're too young to be thinking about marriage. Live life a little first.

[FreeinChrist]

Welcome to Worthy.

[Greg Bradley]

Hello and welcome to Worthy.  As brothers and sisters in Jesus, it is okay to relate to each other without the notion of eventual marriage. It's a thing called friendship.  Look at your friend as a friend and love him with an agape love that has no strings attached and no expectations about the future.  Focus on his "true" needs above your desire for a serious relationship with him.  You don't need to be in a serious relationship to help him if he is willing to be helped.  I encourage you to stay with this Worthy website and get your five posts so you can create a thread for discussion.  At you age, you are going to get a lot of good perspectives from older brothers and sisters who have "been there and done that".  Gleam from their experiences, but let God guide you and lead you with all you hear.  God bless you.

[Willa]

It is easy to confuse God's compassionate love with the godly romantic love and admiration you will have for a spouse. It is safest for men to minister to men and women to women, or to be with another strong christian when talking to him. That way this kind of confusion does not occur and your relationship with him doesn't become more serious than it should. Only God can rescue him. You need to continue to pray for him but don't see him alone in person--talk or text only and keep the subject on God. Guys can be very manipulative and deceptive in their quest for sex and conquest.

Don't even consider getting serious about someone who does not have a good paying job that can support you, a home and a family. Most guys aren't mature enough for marriage till they can do that. I told our sons to wait till they were 24.

I was much like you when I was in high school. It can feel pretty lonely. I really admire your resolve and urge you to not waver, to keep your mind on your studies and to go to college or a trade school.

Blessings,

Willa

[alien224]

Welcome and praying. God will guide your path.