creativemechanic Posted February 14, 2015 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 7 Topic Count: 414 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 1,273 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 518 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/22/2014 Status: Offline Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 Creative,Its sad that your beautiful heart ,and your willingness to follow GODS word has been used, The wise worthy members ,who have replied, have given you the answers you need,I believe. I hope your mum,will forgive those who have used you,I'm a mum too and I have been hurt When my children have been used Will be praying for you both, GOD bless you both How/d my mother get into this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFP Posted February 14, 2015 Group: Senior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 732 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 91 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/31/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/24/1969 Share Posted February 14, 2015 This post was so timely for me. I have a daughter who does this...expects me to run for her every bidding, support her, help her...and at the end of the day she plays games with my feelings and calls me judgemental if I don't completely agree with what she is doing. Yesterday I finally drew the line. Sometimes you just have to let people lie in the bed they have made for themselves for a while and let THEM decide to better themselves, and help themselves. You can only help those who do not help themselves for so long, and then it is called enabling. If you are doing things for others that in your heart do not feel right, perhaps that is God speaking to your heart and telling you that it is not what He expects you to do. He will lead you to those who truly need your help I think. Don't stop being a helper just because a few have hardened your heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezra Posted February 15, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 134 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 8,142 Content Per Day: 2.35 Reputation: 6,612 Days Won: 20 Joined: 11/02/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted February 15, 2015 Where do you draw the line between being helpful and going the extra mile as jesus commands and being used? Ask the Lord for wisdom and discernment (Jas 1:5-8) so that you can discern the ones who have genuine needs (1 Jn 3:16-18) and those who are simply manipulators (2 Tim 3:2-5). We are to help the ones with genuine needs. But Paul tells us to turn away from those who are "unthankful" and "despisers of those that are good". There is no question that there are many manipulators in the world. If you are willing to sit down with them and tell them their fault and show them a way out, then that is another option (Jas 5:19,20). We see from the Lord's example that He would not allow manipulators to manipulate Him (Mt 12:38-40; 16:1-4). But it can be done tactfully and diplomatically (Mt 20:20-23). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamnot Posted February 15, 2015 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 15 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 221 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 64 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/23/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/21/1945 Share Posted February 15, 2015 The kinds of behavior that we are talking about on this thread is exactly the characteristics of narcissism. A sense of entitlement ... bad boundaries ..... exploitation, along other characteristics that might not be as obvious: shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance, and envy. ............... I think that most people have problems dealing with these types of people. We live in a culture of narcissism and in my opinion it is getting worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indent Posted February 16, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 14 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/16/2015 Status: Offline Share Posted February 16, 2015 Interesting, I think you've just had a poor experience. I've helped a lot of people, but I also knew where to 'draw the line'. I'm direct and honest with people, so I have no issues saying no and/or giving people a piece of my mind. If someone is out to manipulate and coerce action from you, it's probably a good indicator that is an unhealthy relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Posted February 17, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 733 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 3,017 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 128 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/01/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/09/1966 Share Posted February 17, 2015 You've been given a lot of good advice in this thread, creativemechanic. Any thoughts on any of it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petula Posted February 17, 2015 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,499 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 1,665 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/17/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/31/1955 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Sorry if I offended you creative,parents,spouses, friends,the people who love you are hurt, when you are used. I am a mum,and I misspoke, l guess your post ,hit a nerve. Continued prayers for You. God bless you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 The kinds of behavior that we are talking about on this thread is exactly the characteristics of narcissism.... A sense of entitlement ... bad boundaries ..... exploitation, along other characteristics that might not be as obvious.... shamelessness, magical thinking.... arrogance, and.... envy.... I think that most people have problems dealing with these types of people.... We live in a culture of narcissism.... and in my opinion it is.... getting worst.... Beloved, Amen Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. Colossians 2:8 The Trouble With Psychology And It's Many Masters Of The Insult For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23 Is That It (And They) Have Totally Missed The Point For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23 And Therefore, More Often Than Not The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up. Matthew 4:16 They Are Left With No Hope And they said, There is no hope: but we will walk after our own devices, and we will every one do the imagination of his evil heart. Jeremiah 18:12 With No Healing The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, Luke 4:18 And Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? John 11:25-26 With No Salvation For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 ~ Now Just How Pride-Filled (Narcissistic) How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Isaiah 14:12-14 Is That Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit. Isaiah 14:15 ~ Be Blessed Beloved Of The KING Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13 Love, Your Brother Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pro1728 Posted February 19, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 73 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 49 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/14/2015 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/01/1974 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Remember that God wants to use us to meet each other's NEEDS, not each other's WANTS. Perhaps it would be helpful to keep a diagram of the "hierarchy of needs" folded in your back pocket. Then when some of these manipulaters ask you for something you can whip it out and give a thoughtful look. "Hmm...so where exactly would this fit in the 'needs' categories? I don't see 'presents' anywhere on this..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creativemechanic Posted February 19, 2015 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 7 Topic Count: 414 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 1,273 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 518 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/22/2014 Status: Offline Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 Sorry if I offended you creative,parents,spouses, friends,the people who love you are hurt, when you are used. I am a mum,and I misspoke, l guess your post ,hit a nerve. Continued prayers for You. God bless you Im not offended. I was just curiosu as to how she got included as i never made reference to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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