KPaulG Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 71 Topic Count: 340 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 16,834 Content Per Day: 4.73 Reputation: 13,548 Days Won: 81 Joined: 07/24/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/02/2000 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusIsLove Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 24 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 32 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2015 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 @wingnut Thank you for understanding what I am dealing with. It's nice to know I am not alone in this. Although she is from a different generation, I have never dealt with an elderly person whom has acted in this manner. For me, it is a bit much. Most elderly people I have known will speak and be friendly from a distance, and continue on with their day. This is a new and unexpected experience for me and my family. I guess this is why I feel uneasy around her. Yes, I did tell her she was welcome at our home, but usually when people exchange phone numbers, they have show manners and common courtesy by calling first, not just popping up unannounced. After all, she told me the same thing, but I was not constantly showing up at her residence unannounced and uninvited. I went to her home 1 time only. Respect has to go both ways in order to cultivate a friendship. God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncn Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 6 Topic Count: 406 Topics Per Day: 0.09 Content Count: 5,248 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 1,337 Days Won: 67 Joined: 08/07/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 Thank you for your warm welcome kwickphilly, I look forward to being your sister in Christ. After I have 5 posts, how do I go about moving this topic to another forum? As you have enough posts now , I have moved your thread to this forum, leaving a link in the Welcome forum. Loneliness is one of the worst feelings in the world, especially for an elderly person. One day you too will be elderly. Reach out to this lady, there are far worse neighbours. Mar 12:31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. God Bless, Nigel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusIsLove Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 24 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 32 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2015 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 Thank you Nigel. God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusIsLove Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 24 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 32 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2015 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 (edited) Thank you KPaulG. May God bless you. Edited April 14, 2015 by JesusIsLove Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 307 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,136 Content Per Day: 4.63 Reputation: 27,816 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 Blessings Dear Sister.... I certainly sympathize with you because I really do not appreciate "poppers by",,,,,,,I too,find it intrusive(as it it constant),we are not talking about someone you do not see frequently and stops by to surprise you,,,,,although ,personally,I do not care for surprises-lol And the funny thing is,I do love to have guests,I believe I am always hospitable and all are welcome in my home & made to feel very comfortable.......so I think we share the same feelings and I really do understand I must say,I think you put yourself in this position,,,,,,I know I always extend an open invitation to people but I am quite clear that a phone call is appreciated to let me know they will be visiting,,,,,,,,,even "on the way",,,,we all have our little quirks but good communication is key(imo) Well,it is too late for that but I think it is never to late to apologize & try to "make it right",,,,,,,,, Perhaps if you asked this lady if you could talk with her maybe it can be resolved,,,,,,,An apology is in order,you might want to even explain that it is "your fault" that things have gone so badly & that never was your intention,,,,,,,I would be very open & honest and ask the Lord to help you find the right words to be kind,comforting & bring healing to this bruised relationship,,,, Explain that you are a rather private person & just not used to unannounced visits & that you do enjoy her company and that you are very unhappy that you are no longer "friends"..........All you can do is try,she will accept your apology or she will not but I feel very strongly that you should extend the olive branch,,,,,especially as an Ambassador for Christ.This poor woman is obviously very lonely and I would hope you could make her feel the love of Christ by the Power of the Holy Spirit ,,,,,,,,,and she just might be willing to see you half way,,,,, Let us pray that in Jesus Wonderful Name,,,,,,His love will shine through you & fill her lonely heart With love-in Christ,Kwik Oh,I would also like to add something,you said that she was not your equal or something like that,in other words I think you are saying you have nothing in common,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you don'y know that Sister,you may be very surprised but you have to look beyond age & appearances & not with the eyes in your head but the eyes of your heart,,,,,,,,there is usually much we can learn from our elders & she just may Bless YOU more than you could ever imagine,,,,,,,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angels4u Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 56 Topic Count: 1,664 Topics Per Day: 0.20 Content Count: 19,764 Content Per Day: 2.39 Reputation: 12,164 Days Won: 28 Joined: 08/22/2001 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 @ angels4u Thank you for your advice, and I sincerely appreciate it. The scripture you gave to support your advice is helpful and it is quite possible that God may have been using me to help my neighbor overcome her loneliness by spending time with her. However, my family and I did try to be as friendly as possible to her but she began overstepping her boundaries. In Proverbs 25:17 it clearly states the following: Proverbs 25:17 Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee. Verse 17. - Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; literally, make thy foot precious, rare; Septuagint, "Bring thy foot sparingly (σπάνιον) into thy friend's house," The proverb seems to be loosely connected with the preceding, as urging moderation. Do not pay too frequent visits to your neighbors' house, or make yourself too much at home there. I know--you're in a difficult situation....praying ~~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2015 @wingnut Thank you for understanding what I am dealing with. It's nice to know I am not alone in this. Although she is from a different generation, I have never dealt with an elderly person whom has acted in this manner. For me, it is a bit much. Most elderly people I have known will speak and be friendly from a distance, and continue on with their day. This is a new and unexpected experience for me and my family. I guess this is why I feel uneasy around her. Yes, I did tell her she was welcome at our home, but usually when people exchange phone numbers, they have show manners and common courtesy by calling first, not just popping up unannounced. After all, she told me the same thing, but I was not constantly showing up at her residence unannounced and uninvited. I went to her home 1 time only. Respect has to go both ways in order to cultivate a friendship. God bless. Hello again, It really comes down to individuals I suspect. For about the last decade, I have been going to a retirement home that my grandparents were residents at prior to their passing and I do karaoke entertainment for them on the weekends, usually Saturday and Sunday evenings. There are many who keep to themselves, and there are many who are very sociable and interactive. There are a few that are quite clingy, they will even follow me to the bathroom for example. It can be unsettling, so I do relate to what you are feeling. Thankfully my neighbor lives behind me, so our backyards meet up and she has never walked around the block to knock on my door. She doesn't come out and approach my mother, it seems to be just me she is interested in talking to, and I know everything about her and her family, down to medical issues. I admit that when I head out to my backyard, I often find myself thinking, ' I hope she doesn't come out here .' I feel bad about it, and when she inevitably does come out I cringe a bit, shut down the mower, and try to keep the conversation as brief as possible. I know it is loneliness that drives her, and why she fixates on me I will never understand. I would think she would be more interested in chatting with my mom since they are closer in age. I just operate from the understanding that God is placing this opportunity in front of me for His reasons, and so I oblige her, as inconvenient as it may be at times. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this issue, and I don't really have any wisdom to help you deal with it. There really is no solution to the guilt that I feel myself, and that I assume you feel as well, if you find one let me know lol. Just try and make the best of it, perhaps you may be the lifeline God has placed there for this woman. Pray about it and see what the Lord would have you do, for me I know that reaching out to the elderly is something He has placed on my heart to do, maybe it is His will for you also. God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KPaulG Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 71 Topic Count: 340 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 16,834 Content Per Day: 4.73 Reputation: 13,548 Days Won: 81 Joined: 07/24/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/02/2000 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Thank you KPaulGKPaulG. May God bless you. You are welcome. May God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JesusIsLove Posted April 14, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 24 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 32 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2015 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 @kwickphilly My sister, you are correct. In fact, my mother tried to tell me that I should have made it clear from the beginning that I am a person who enjoys privacy and I do not like frequent visitors stopping by unannounced. Mom also told me that I should have recommended that she called first. If my mother could read this, she would say, "I told you so." Lol!! I did bring this on myself without realizing it. My thought was, since my family and I are fairly new to the area, we should try to make friends with whomever seems like they want to be friendly. I just expected her to befriend us within reason and know her boundaries. I think I expected too much in this case because everyone has different ideas about friendship. As far as the two of us having nothing in common, I truly believe that to be the truth. Each conversation I've ever had with her has not been in regards to anything other than neighborhood issues. She always seemed to try and make up things to talk about just to keep me outside conversing with her. Probably because she was/is very lonely. The thing is, although I understand she is lonesome, she should understand that I am a fairly young person and I have family and other responsibilities to occupy my time. My family, especially my mother who is also an older woman, needs me. She has health problems. So does my brother. They are both on disability. I am all they have and vice versa. Needless to say, I love them. Aside from The Lord Jesus Christ who comes first in my life, my mother and brother are also a high priority with me. I wish that she could have respected that. She is older than my mother, but my mother is still my mother and she will come before others. Except God of course. Besides, I barely know this lady and she barely knows me. She wanted to become too close too soon with someone she just met. Why didn't she see that? Sadly, she ended up wearing out her welcome. As a result, she has chosen to take it out on my brother, and I do not appreciate that at all. Neither does my mother. He had nothing to do with the way I responded to her. This says something about her character. I believe she should be held accountable for her actions and ask for forgiveness as well. Sometimes, the older generation think they can get away with anything because of their age. God sees everyone the same way in that respect. He judges by the heart, not age. Do you agree sister? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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