Keith Posted May 10, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 733 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 3,017 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 128 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/01/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/09/1966 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Hello again. Yeah, this is long. Sorry about that. For once, it can't be helped. I'm sorry for disappearing without a trace for awhile. I had no idea it would be for a couple of months. The Holy Spirit has started a work that's completely changing me. I've been trying to find the words to explain it for over a week now. They're all so inadequate, underwhelming, and cliché. And let's face it, is there really much of anything that anyone could say that we haven't all heard many times before? How does a person effectively convey something that has completely changed them? It's a pity that the impact of words has lessened in how they move us today. Time is rarely spent on what's truly being said due to all the demands on our time and expectations to keep things moving along. We live in a hurried world. But, God's never in a hurry. And, I've found that they key to regaining our sensitivity to the full impact of words again, is the deliberate effort of taking the time to really reflect on them. In essence, that's exactly what led to the last two months of my absence - time to serious reflect and consider. I'm the type of person who wears their heart on their sleeve. Gratitude and love fill me to where I'm bursting at the seams and want to tell everyone everything going on in hopes that they might experience this, too! But there's also a huge reverential fear in me to not say very much because I don't dare subtract from it in any way. It's not a common thing to be casually discussed without appropriate awe and reverence for His greatness and mercy. There's a part of me that doesn't want to talk about it, but to just continue experiencing this and living it out. After all, I'm hardly a person of any importance that anyone should much attention to. But I want to tell what's been happening so Jesus receives glory for it. Any reason other than that is vanity and just noise. My desire for His glory wins out. God has taken me at my word and began to answer my prayer to leave this world without desiring anything from it. I don't want any addictions to, or desires for, anything it has to offer. Frankly, it all started with the desire to stop being addicted to sugar! I hate the way Big Business has purposely corrupted food to be so unhealthy and addictive in order to make obscene profits at the expense and health of others. Reflecting on that led to every other topic under (and including) the sun, until I became so angry I cried. Look how far the world has fallen! I wasn't just angry, I mourned deeply. I really spent time considering all of this until I reached the point where I'd had it with this world and wanted no part of it anymore. I wanted to be completely separate from it. And I wanted the world to see the difference and desire Him again. But to be separated from one thing, you have to be joined to something else. None of us is an independent free floater in the world. Naturally then, I want to be joined to God, which naturally led to thinking I need to spend more time in prayer and reading the Bible. That's when I stopped cold in my tracks. More words! Just words! I'm sick of robotic Christianity! I'm sick of my own emotional leadings! Quite frankly, I'm sick of me, my own thoughts, my own plans, my own ways, my own understanding, my own feelings, etc., There's so much that can, and should, be said here to keep this in balance and perspective, but I'm going to digress and trust that you will take me at my word regarding my sincerity and motive in this. What does that really mean? What does it look like? What is God's desire and intention in this? In short, what does "full surrender" really entail? As Christians, we all have degrees of this going on in practice, and even in desire. But time is short and I'm sick of my own desires and my own pace of spiritual growth! If it kills me, I'm going to be 100% submitted to Jesus in every way! By now, all I feel is desperation! To hell with everything else, even my needs. I'm desperate for Him and to be His completely! Just Him for who He is and nothing else. I honestly don't care what, who, or how much it costs me. I want the remaining time I have left on this earth, whether I leave by death or by rapture, to be so insanely honoring and glorifying to Him! I want to know, and experience, and love, and abide in, and obey, and be bold in Him with absolutely everything that's in me, that there's nothing left of myself in me! I want to experience utterly everything possible that He created, purposed, and died for me to experience and do for His glory alone! I want to believe, and put my faith and complete trust, in His love, His will, His word, and His commands for me. I want to walk with God like Enoch did. I've had threads of these desires in my life for as long as I can remember. But, it was always so hard and scary and impossible. I'm so weak and violently imperfect! I could never, ever hope to achieve even a molecule of this! Let's not even mention how unworthy and undeserving I am to even hope or think I could have any of this! That's just the plain truth! No self-deprecation or false modesty intended or needed. So, how did all of this start? With His grace and taking Him at His word no matter what. A grace, and a love, that is greater than everything that's thrown at it. I had a modecum of sincere desire and knew I didn't have the ability, strength, or wisdom to even dare pursue it. But, the Holy Spirit took that small seed of my sincere desire, planted and tended it, working in me over time, using every circumstance imaginable, and caused that desire to grow in me to a degree and a depth that I've never imagined. To the point that I see everything differently. What began as the simple hope to give up sugar has turned into life changing answered prayer; a continuing work in progress. I'm not the same person I was two months ago. Not only have my thoughts and desires changed, but the context of them has changed, too. For the record, I'm still not free from my addiction to sugar! Like everything else, it's a work in progress. In this thread, Lord willing, I'll be posting (with every effort to be much briefer than this introduction) the things that the Holy Spirit has been doing in me. If others read it and are edified by it in any way, then it's all to His glory and nothing of me. For now, I just can't not shout it from the rooftops and glorify His name through it because it's all of, in, by and through Him! And I won't be offended if you don't read, comment or care about this. The world most definitely doesn't revolve around me and nobody needs me to express the importance of seeking only Him. I'm just doing what I'm compelled to do! God bless and keep you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted May 10, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,990 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.83 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted May 10, 2015 You must be very sensitive to sugar Keith.What happens to you when you eat sugar?Are you diabetic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted May 10, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted May 10, 2015 Great to see you back brother, you are in my prayers, God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Posted May 10, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 733 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 3,017 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 128 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/01/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/09/1966 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 You must be very sensitive to sugar Keith.What happens to you when you eat sugar?Are you diabetic? No, it's nothing as serious as that. I just love sugary things too much! It's an addiction and I just don't want to be addicted to anything. I started thinking about this as I was considering Romans 12:1 about offering our bodies as a living sacrifice and 1 Corinthians 6:19, that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. While there's nothing wrong with having a candy bar occasionally, I want to be a better steward of my health with the choices I make and honor Him with them. For the last six months, I've been hearing in my spirit that God is preparing a remnant of those who are willing to fully surrender themselves to Him in preparation for a work He has for them to do. Ever since then, I've become very sensitive, not to sugar, but to everything going on in the news. It's all just come to a head in my life and, when the pieces are put together, I can see that God began putting this desire in me to fully surrender every area of my life -- my time, my habits, my thoughts, etc., and submit myself to Him for rebuke, correction, cleansing and purifying. Our time left here is very short and I want desperately to end well and not coast through it. I know that, to some, it will seem like I've gone off the deep end or am taking things too seriously. But the "coincidences" of all these things converging at this point in my life isn't a "coincidence." And the work He's doing in me has been evidence of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Posted May 10, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 733 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 3,017 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 128 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/01/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/09/1966 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 Great to see you back brother, you are in my prayers, God bless. Thanks brother. I could ask for no greater gift! Seeing God at work in my life like this, and changing me, has been difficult, but incredibly comforting and given me so much peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezra Posted May 11, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 134 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 8,142 Content Per Day: 2.36 Reputation: 6,612 Days Won: 20 Joined: 11/02/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted May 11, 2015 An outstanding and God-honoring testimony. May it be an inspiration to every reader. God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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