Daughter just told me she's gay

[Iam4rgiven]

I'm a mother of a 16 year old daughter and she just told me that she's gay.  I'm devastated to a point where I cried every night, could'nt sleep or eat.  I love my daughter very much but I have a hard time accepting this. My husband on the other hand is more accepting. I didn't get mad at her when she told me this.  I was calm.  She believes that she's born this way and that this is who she is. I, on the other hand believe that it's a choice. A lifestyle choice. I believe that nobody is born gay...just like nobody is born a murderer, a gambler, an adulterer.  I explained to her that having sexual desires with the same sex is not a sin unless you act upon it. She then told me that she believes that being gay is not a sin. Her exact word is "How could God hate me if this is the way I was born? God supposed to love everyone". I'm really hurt by this and just today i caught myself questioning God. I even asked God that if this is something she's born with then I need help for him to change me...to make me accept my daughter unconditionally...but if this is something she is choosing to do, then please help my daughter to change, to guide her to the right path, to open her eyes to the truth before it's too late.  She's a good daughter.  She does good at school, she doesn't drink or do drugs, she's still a virgin ( she's not sexually active).  I really don't believe that she's gay because she had one bf before and it lasted for almost 4 months. I'm just so confused right now.  I need prayers...and I am asking God to guide her with the choices she'll make. Please I need help.  I'm so depressed right now I don't know what to do or how to handle this situation. Please help.

[Omegaman 3.0]

I think we can pray for you and for your daughter, for the whole situation.

 

I do not think that people are born as any particular kind of sinner, but I do think we are all born sinners. Most people have probably lied, even stolen something at some point in their life.

 

We are not sinners, becuase we sin, we sin, becuase we are sinners. I agree with your notion that temptation is not a sin, but actions are, but that is not to say that we cannot sin in our minds.

 

I suspect that many here, if they were to be honest, have had relations outside of marriage, even as Christians. That is also a sin, but we do not seem to be as concerned about that, as we are about homosexuality. Perhaps it is that we, most of us, can relate to one, but not the other, we are struck by the unnaturalness of one, we notice what the body was made for.

 

I would suggest that you continue to love her, and let her realize that you do, but never accept it as okay with God.

 

In spite of what gay propagandists want us to beleive, people have changed orientation, hope for your daughter's state exists. I do think though, that while she was not "born gay", she may be right in that I do not believe that she chose it either. I feel certain, than people do not come to some conclusion, and make a decision: "I think I will be a thief, or a liar, or a child molestor". They are tempted, or have feelings, that just are part of their nature, and we or they may not know where these originated from. However, we all have a choice of how we respond to temptation, we either fight it, or we give in, that is where the decision part is.

[Guest]

I know exactly how you feel. My daughter did the same thing, said the same things. Only she was 30 and has 2 children. I was angry at first, because she was taught correctly. She made the conscious choice to not believe GOD and HIS Word when it didn't line up with what she wanted it to say. I love her dearly, and I treat her that way. But, she knows how my wife and I feel about it, we have told her. But we have also told her that we accept her for being her, and that we will not judge her for it. I'll say it again, she knows that we know that it is a sin no matter what she thinks it is, but that Christ died on the Cross for all our sins, past, present and future. And GOD knew all our sins before we knew them and they were covered by His blood on the Cross. She claims to be a Christian, and we have to take her at her word because no one but GOD knows for sure. And since you can't loose your salvation - if you are truly saved to begin with - then she has to live with herself and all we are required to do is love her and not be judgmental towards her. It will take some time for you to get to this point - if you choose to - but if you know in your heart that you have done everything you can to get her to the Lord, He will take care of the rest. Pray for her, and yourself. GOD Bless you.

[AllTheGoodNamesAreTaken]

Praying.

Edited August 13, 2015 by AllTheGoodNamesAreTaken

[alien224]

Praying for you and your family. God bless you, I feel your pain.

[xyluz]

The nature of sin is in everyone until salvation.

 

The manifestations of this nature in people is what is different.

 

The reason for this we don't really know, but background, environment and people around us are probably great factors to these manifestations.

 

In any case, i agree with Omega, "I would suggest that you continue to love her, and let her realize that you do, but never accept it as okay with God."

 

I'll also be praying along with you.

 

[Leonard]

No, she is not.  She is merely confused.

 

The Lord clean out the rubbish and cobwebs in her spirit. +

[m.a.g]

I am so sorry that your family is going though yhat right now. All you can do is pray and ask for Gods straight and most of all just Love her. Hate the sin but love the sinner. My prayers go out to you and to her

[SINNERSAVED]

This is hard and life has many obsticals , and we are to see that as evil as the world is and the power of the evil one and the influences we see today on all of us ,and the people around us we need to understand, that prayer is our tool and God answers prayer, but jesus also said in matthew 10 verses 24 to 37, that he did not come to bring peace but a sword that separates and cuts through to the families that  must make those decisions to follow him or reject him and the word of God, this is  an effect that has come into every family or by means of co workers or friends that there is a choice to follow God or not ! to live the Godly call,or the alternate life style of the world and we see that sin is running wild and we are in the last days, so I would say that to love your daughter and continue to be the reflection of jesus and the Godly way and your values and let her know that you cannot except the sin or her choices for it is not of God but of the world , this is all that you can do , but do not allow it in your home, for darkness and light cannot be joined, this is the tough situation, but you cannot let the sinful things corrupt your standards of being and following holiness, I am sorry but this is the fact, too many people of today say let them do what they want and you do what you want and we can all get along in the same house, this is not true, and will cause more damage in the long run,and jesus said if you follow me you must deny the self , and turn from any and all sin, tough love,we must follow in spirit and not by the flesh, we cannot condone that sin but we can love the person,

[Guest Thallasa]

I doubt if she would be saying she was 'gay' if it was not the 'in sin' of the moment ,as in same sex schools it was common for

 young people to have a crush on someone of the same sex ,as a kind of identity thing, until one is ready for a 'real' relationship .

 

Of course very few ever became homosexual, but we are living in a society which actually encourages this kind of thing .

For me the 'key' is your husbands lack of concern .She will unconciously have picked up something from him, that it would be O.K.

 

There is nothing like a loving parent who disapproves of something you do to bring you round to the truth ,and he is not doing that .

 

 Studies  have found that there is always at least one lax parent when a child follows this path .

 

Edit by Omegaman: I suspect that studies might show that there is often one lax or absent parent - I doubt they ever show there is always one.

Edited August 13, 2015 by Thallasa
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