what is the biblically correct response to a specific crime by spouse

[Tjm6]

My husband keeps going back to porn and it has destroyed my perspective of sex completely.

In the beginning it was an act of love and passion. Now all I can think of is that I'm just a pawn in one of his porn fantasies. 

This is the third time I have caught him in our 15 years of marriage. ( he has admitted to much more now) with each time I trust him less and withdraw more. Meaning, I don't feel like I can even  have a best friend relationship with him.  Because if I react at all to his advances, whether sexual or relational, we may rebuild our marriage just long enough for his lack of morality to tear it back down and I'll just get hurt again when he relapses. And with each time this happens I feel less,well, anything toward him.

The first time I found out, I went through all of the stages of grieve. It was like something had died inside of me. I was devastated!

This time I just try to tell myself I don't care. It's the only way I feel like I can survive and keep going. 

 

 

[Marilyn C]

1 hour ago, Tjm6 said:

My husband keeps going back to porn and it has destroyed my perspective of sex completely.

In the beginning it was an act of love and passion. Now all I can think of is that I'm just a pawn in one of his porn fantasies. 

This is the third time I have caught him in our 15 years of marriage. ( he has admitted to much more now) with each time I trust him less and withdraw more. Meaning, I don't feel like I can even  have a best friend relationship with him.  Because if I react at all to his advances, whether sexual or relational, we may rebuild our marriage just long enough for his lack of morality to tear it back down and I'll just get hurt again when he relapses. And with each time this happens I feel less,well, anything toward him.

The first time I found out, I went through all of the stages of grieve. It was like something had died inside of me. I was devastated!

This time I just try to tell myself I don't care. It's the only way I feel like I can survive and keep going. 

 

 

Hi Tjm6,

My heart goes out to you. How utterly devastating. I will pray for you & your husband. Trust is broken.

Do you know the Lord? Do you know how to reach out to Him?

regards, Marilyn.

[HisFirst]

On 21/08/2015 at 4:52 PM, Butero said:

 I am assuming we are speaking of a person who sought out child porn,

People who view pictures of pornography are engaging in the act mentally. 

What does Jesus say about that issue of looking at a woman with thoughts of sex with her? It's equal to having already engaged in the act.

Adults viewing child pornography are in the same category.

Divorce would be appropriate. 

Child pornography is  pure demonic .

A child is being raped - think about that - an adult is inflicting utter physical pain in order to satisfy their perverted lusts of a child.

Adults who view this material are partakers of this act.

Edited December 6, 2016 by HisFirst

[mikefromwichita]

Hmmmmm, why should a Christian divorce over a 'crime' invented by modern day politicians and atheistic social engineers?

[MorningGlory]

9 hours ago, HisFirst said:

People who view pictures of pornography are engaging in the act mentally. 

What does Jesus say about that issue of looking at a woman with thoughts of sex with her? It's equal to having already engaged in the act.

Adults viewing child pornography are in the same category.

Divorce would be appropriate. 

Child pornography is  pure demonic .

A child is being raped - think about that - an adult is inflicting utter physical pain in order to satisfy their perverted lusts of a child.

Adults who view this material are partakers of this act.

I absolutely agree.

[MorningGlory]

49 minutes ago, mikefromwichita said:

Hmmmmm, why should a Christian divorce over a 'crime' invented by modern day politicians and atheistic social engineers?

Do you believe that child pornography is NOT a crime?  Do you believe it's a sin?

[MorningGlory]

30 minutes ago, Abby-Joy said:

WHAT in the world!? I had no clue what this thread was about, whoa!   I guess I'll read the whole thing....

Yes, I did that too and find that most think that child pornography is a crime and a sin and it, therefore, grounds for divorce.  As do I.

[mikefromwichita]

57 minutes ago, MorningGlory said:

Do you believe that child pornography is NOT a crime?  Do you believe it's a sin?

Yes child porn is sinful, but it is not an issue for the State hypocrites. Check into 'pizzagate' for the truly vile crimes of the high and mighty being kept hidden by the MSM.

Given that the Jewish and Christian communities of the time that the Bible was being complied allowed Marriage at an age most if not all USA States declare to be against Caesar's Law I take the position that the State is inserting itself into an area where it does not belong. Mis-behaving teens is something to be resolved between families, NOt by the State- a State which BTW, in its schools openly encourages sexual experimentation and then gets all righteous and judgemental when teens share pic on those IPhones they should not have in any case.

What we have here is the State as usual creating a Problem so that those cells in the private prisons can be kept filled and the politicians can keep getting campaign funds from the prison owners.

[Jayne]

I have a friend who explained to me why she remarried after years of saying she never would after her husband committed adultery and left her and married the woman he was cheating with.

She was a staunch "you can never marry after divorce even if he/she committed adultery" type of Christian.  So, she stayed single - with children that he never helped her with and with a handicapped child for about 20-25 years - telling everyone that she could NOT remarry, Biblically speaking.

Then, she met a Christian man who had never married and they began doing some work together in his scientific field.  She was editing his work and he lived on another continent.  He had never married as he had felt the responsibility to take care of his handicapped sister until she passed away.  His parents were gone and he had no one.

They fell in love, but refused to marry as both were in agreement that this would be sin.  They had met a few times, but agreed to remain apart forever and be working partners.

Then, as she was studying scriptures, ironically enough the law that most Christians skip over - she was studying the passage in the Old Testament about stoning those caught in adultery.  She began to pray about this and what it meant in her life and she said that God helped her to understand that while we don't stone people today for adultery -  that in her case, when her husband all those years ago committed adultery and was unrepentant - that he was "spiritually dead" to her.  She was free to remarry just as anyone who had lost a spouse to death was free.

She said that she struggled a long time to accept this and she shared it with the man she loved and they agreed to pray about it for a season and came to accept that they could marry and they did.

Pornography is mental and spiritual adultery.  No if's, and's, or but's. And I suppose that someone might make a case for physical adultery.

In my opinion, you can divorce for that, but you don't HAVE to.  Reconciliation should always be a first try and a very hard try.

I've seen people - LOTS of people -  repent and reconcile after adultery and after porn.  If the offending spouse - after the couple making their absolute best effort - remains unrepentant and still participates in the sins, a divorce can be made and after a time of healing - a remarriage can occur.  They are spiritually dead to you.

But I would have to say that in the case of child pornography or homosexual pornography - I, myself, would be hard pressed to seek reconciliation.  I don't think I could even try.  Maybe I'm wrong.

 

[MorningGlory]

1 hour ago, mikefromwichita said:

Yes child porn is sinful, but it is not an issue for the State hypocrites. Check into 'pizzagate' for the truly vile crimes of the high and mighty being kept hidden by the MSM.

Given that the Jewish and Christian communities of the time that the Bible was being complied allowed Marriage at an age most if not all USA States declare to be against Caesar's Law I take the position that the State is inserting itself into an area where it does not belong. Mis-behaving teens is something to be resolved between families, NOt by the State- a State which BTW, in its schools openly encourages sexual experimentation and then gets all righteous and judgemental when teens share pic on those IPhones they should not have in any case.

What we have here is the State as usual creating a Problem so that those cells in the private prisons can be kept filled and the politicians can keep getting campaign funds from the prison owners.

You think it's all about 'misbehaving teens'?  There are INFANTS that have been raped by pedophiles so, yes, I think the state definitely should be actively involved in the matter.  Taking sexually explicit photos of young children is sick and perverted.  People did marry very young in the past but we don't live then.  Would you let your nine year old daughter marry? Is it okay to take pictures of a five year old nude or to make videos of young children being raped to sell?  Educate yourself and find out what kind of harm can be done to children by stuff like this.  I see you're into conspiracy theories; the state created the problem and  politicians want to keep pedophiles in prison to enrich themselves?  Do you not understand that the citizens demand it?  And this 'Pizzagate' is a fake news story; look it up.