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“Finding a Life Partner”


emekrus

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I have found all I need in Jesus.  Total fulfillment.  A wife cannot offer anything to me in terms of happiness and fulfillment that Jesus has not already provided.

 

You are right shiloh.Some people feel like they are lost without a wife/husband but then they do not know what total fulfillment really is.Jesus has all we need.But if He wants us to have a spouse he will make that very obvious.And that goes for you too Shiloh.We can not give God a deaf ear to his plan he has for our lives.

Had found total fulfillment in Jesus myself. But the need for a partner in this life still persists. Conclusion: God has made me for loving :wub:

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First of all, it is God's will that most (if not all) of His people marry, have children, and fulfil what was given to Adam and Eve -- be fruitful, multiply and replenish the earth.

All the apostles were married, and Paul may have been a widower. Scripture is very clear that marriage is God's will, NOT celibacy (and forbidding to marry is a doctrine of demons), and the younger widows are encouraged to marry for a very good reason.  Christ and His apostles attended the marriage in Cana of Galilee to show that God blesses marriage, and indeed there will be the Marriage of the Lamb in the future.  That is God's view of marriage.

But some Christians have this naive notion that God will simply drop a spouse into their lives, and they can simply sit around and do nothing. If nothing happens then they claim it was not God's will.  We can pray all we want, but if we do not take the initiative and do our part, we will end up with nothing. One of the best examples of how God leads and guides and yet requires a serious commitment from men is in the story of how God provided a bride for Isaac.

:star::star::star::star::star: 

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I don't believe that denying what we want is all the answer, because some of the instincts we have, promote the best offspring. It is natural to choose someone who is symmetrical, healthy, tall, straight, strong, intelligent, sociable etc.

If we are prepared to compromise and marry whatever, then the risks of bringing deformed and sick children into the world are higher.

One of the first obligations to God is to look after our body temple, and not to produce inferior offspring to curse the world more than it is. Another important obligation is the matter of faith, which we all know creates compatibility and harmony in the home. And the third factor is culture. Stick with your own if possible.

If we take the attitude of marrying the first thing that comes under the radar, then we will get just that. Like the donkey and the dragon in Shrek. 

I think, the idea of praying for a partner and getting that prayer answered is a myth that churches have promoted, as an answer to the overwhelming desperation young people have about a relationship, thanks to the entertainment industries. People are lovesick, and cannot wait to fulfill their sentimental and imaginary side.

I agree what you have put forward about not being too interested in our wishes which are sometimes selfish and unrealistic, nevertheless, I think we should aim high, and be fair to the one we think we want to marry, by not allowing them to marry us if we are incompatible and inferior.

The trouble with the world is that most couples are mismatched, and the reason for this is that there is a massive rush to be hitched, and if the eligible don't hurry, they'll be left with shelf material, meanwhile, the mismatched pairs are already seeking divorce, while the loners, have the option of marrying second hand goods.

It is possible that Christians have overrated the importance of having a partner as well, and that behind this is a sex driven society. So the gonads are making the choices and not the heart and mind. 

So in such a world, is God interested in fulfilling people's desires on that level? I question that.

Many people are obsessed about a relationship and honestly believe that their lives will be far better off with the 'right' partner, and so they pray for the 'right partner.' I think the truth is that, if you are the right partner yourself, then you are naturally compatible with many people, not just one, or a selection, but thousands.

In fact, if you like loving, you will like many different people, and find something loving about each. There doesn't have to be a 'right' partner for you, because anyone can have a happy life with you. If you need someone 'special' to love, like a movie star to mother you, you are probably a really boring person anyway, and when you find your 'right' partner - then the two of you will be doubly boring. There are many fine examples of that.

The biggest pre-commitment questions should be "Is our love for God the same? Are we heading in the same direction, with the same intentions of decreasing suffering in the world, and allowing our family unit to be an example of Christian virtues?"

Whether you both like tennis or not is more important for matchmaking shows, but in real life, it makes little difference to the success of the relationship. Everyone is different anyway, and it glorifies God when we learn how to live in harmony, by making compromises, sharing, allowing space for new ideas, and showing interest in each other's lives.

 

:star::star::star::star::star: 

Can't say I agree with you completely... but I agree when you say that we should aim high when looking for a spouse :)

In my case, I am still trusting God to show me the right person, as he knows more what is BEST for me. And that's exactly what I am expecting. His best woman for me. Meanwhile, I am striving to become God's best too. His best man for her.

I've grown old enough to realize that physical attributes mean less than spiritual compatibility. So yes, I would like it very much to find someone who will share with me my walk with Jesus -- to share with me my own high standards, and my deep commitment to God's plan for my life. This is probably my top criteria. God knows this. And I know he agrees. And so I expect he'll provide.

Edited by Dakila777
typo
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