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emekrus

“Finding a Life Partner”

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I don't believe that denying what we want is all the answer, because some of the instincts we have, promote the best offspring. It is natural to choose someone who is symmetrical, healthy, tall, straight, strong, intelligent, sociable etc.... The right partner is the one you choose to love and one who appreciates that. The biggest pre-commitment questions should be "Is our love for God the same? Are we heading in the same direction, with the same intentions of decreasing suffering in the world, and allowing our family unit to be an example of Christian virtues?"

Whether you both like tennis or not is more important for matchmaking shows, but in real life, it makes little difference to the success of the relationship. Everyone is different anyway, and it glorifies God when we learn how to live in harmony, by making compromises, sharing, allowing space for new ideas, and showing interest in each other's lives.

 

 

Let me just ask you a question- and I want you to be very honest with me here. Suppose you or a relative happens to be on the disadvantaged side of your choice, what will you advice? Everyone should avoid you? Never consider you good enough for marriage?

Remember, do to others as you would have them do to you. Just turn around the table to yourself, and just make it a food for thought.

That is a very compassionate and right attitude. I think everyone ought to be loved, I find the need for love attractive. But when it comes to deciding the well being of the offspring, health should be first in question and purpose, don't you think?

 

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I have found all I need in Jesus.  Total fulfillment.  A wife cannot offer anything to me in terms of happiness and fulfillment that Jesus has not already provided.

 

You are right shiloh. Some people feel like they are lost without a wife/husband but then they do not know what total fulfillment really is.Jesus has all we need.But if He wants us to have a spouse he will make that very obvious.And that goes for you too Shiloh.We can not give God a deaf ear to his plan he has for our lives.

I am not anti-marriage.  I just don't need it.  If I were to get married, there would be no pressure on a wife to fulfill some pie-in-the-sky, unrealistic expectation.   So many go into marriage with ridiculous expectations and when their spouse can't live up to their unrealistic fantasy of what marriage is supposed to be, suddenly everything goes south and the marriage hits the rocks.

It is wise for a person to have realistic expectations when going into a lifetime commitment.You are right there.I was just saying that sometimes God has different plans for us than we have for ourselves.

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I don't believe that denying what we want is all the answer, because some of the instincts we have, promote the best offspring. It is natural to choose someone who is symmetrical, healthy, tall, straight, strong, intelligent, sociable etc.... The right partner is the one you choose to love and one who appreciates that. The biggest pre-commitment questions should be "Is our love for God the same? Are we heading in the same direction, with the same intentions of decreasing suffering in the world, and allowing our family unit to be an example of Christian virtues?"

Whether you both like tennis or not is more important for matchmaking shows, but in real life, it makes little difference to the success of the relationship. Everyone is different anyway, and it glorifies God when we learn how to live in harmony, by making compromises, sharing, allowing space for new ideas, and showing interest in each other's lives.

 

 

Let me just ask you a question- and I want you to be very honest with me here. Suppose you or a relative happens to be on the disadvantaged side of your choice, what will you advice? Everyone should avoid you? Never consider you good enough for marriage?

Remember, do to others as you would have them do to you. Just turn around the table to yourself, and just make it a food for thought.

That is a very compassionate and right attitude. I think everyone ought to be loved, I find the need for love attractive. But when it comes to deciding the well being of the offspring, health should be first in question and purpose, don't you think?

 

I think it is wise for a person to be honest enough to say "I am not well I will not bring this into another person's life".That is being unselfish.

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It goes without saying that Christians should only marry Christians.

I can remember telling our son that what a woman looks for is a best friend.   So he started praying that God provide someone that he had known for at least a year and had as a friend.  God provided a girl he had known for several years but  had never considered her for marriage.  They had worked together on the worship team at church as well as having lunch together at his place of employment.  They had been in the young adults group at church and in Bible school.  But God had to open his eyes to see her.  They have been married for 20 years.  Our other son would not date someone who was not a Christian.  So he started inviting a girl he liked to group activities with other Christians.  Then he invited her to the young adults group.  Afterward she poured out her heart to him, and her past, and he led her in the sinners prayer.  They were married within a year and also have been married 20 years.  However, they have had lives of severe trials illness and pain that they have met with God's help

 God provides someone who will complement us in abilties, providing strength where we are weak.   But that person also may be sent into our lives to refine us!   Becoming one is a growing and refining process that takes time and committment.  As both people become more like Christ they merge into the One that God created them to become.  

A gifted evangelist admitted that he and his wife go out as a team to approach people about Christ.  She is the silent partner and prayer warrior.  

To make a marriage work, both have to pliable in God's hands.  That takes meakness and humility.  God will help us to become those things through life's hardships.  I do encourage married couples to pray aloud for each other's needs and concerns and for others.  That is a very strong binding force that knits their hearts together.

There is a reason why God said for Christians to not be unevenly yolked.It can cause problems.It can even take us away from God.

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I don't believe that denying what we want is all the answer, because some of the instincts we have, promote the best offspring. It is natural to choose someone who is symmetrical, healthy, tall, straight, strong, intelligent, sociable etc.... The right partner is the one you choose to love and one who appreciates that. The biggest pre-commitment questions should be "Is our love for God the same? Are we heading in the same direction, with the same intentions of decreasing suffering in the world, and allowing our family unit to be an example of Christian virtues?"

Whether you both like tennis or not is more important for matchmaking shows, but in real life, it makes little difference to the success of the relationship. Everyone is different anyway, and it glorifies God when we learn how to live in harmony, by making compromises, sharing, allowing space for new ideas, and showing interest in each other's lives.

 

 

Let me just ask you a question- and I want you to be very honest with me here. Suppose you or a relative happens to be on the disadvantaged side of your choice, what will you advice? Everyone should avoid you? Never consider you good enough for marriage?

Remember, do to others as you would have them do to you. Just turn around the table to yourself, and just make it a food for thought.

That is a very compassionate and right attitude. I think everyone ought to be loved, I find the need for love attractive. But when it comes to deciding the well being of the offspring, health should be first in question and purpose, don't you think?

 

The well being and the health of the offspring is not for us as humans to determine. It is God that determines the well being and health of the offspring. Hence, the most important thing to do when looking for a life partner, is to ask for God's direction. Because I don't believe God can mismanage our destinies. Including those of our offsprings. If God says go, then just go regardless of what you see, and I promise you, he'll take care of things.

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Sometimes a life partner comes by seeking and sometimes by waiting. It is wise to seek with the Spirit and not the flesh to avoid making a wrong choice.

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I don't believe that denying what we want is all the answer, because some of the instincts we have, promote the best offspring. It is natural to choose someone who is symmetrical, healthy, tall, straight, strong, intelligent, sociable etc.... The right partner is the one you choose to love and one who appreciates that. The biggest pre-commitment questions should be "Is our love for God the same? Are we heading in the same direction, with the same intentions of decreasing suffering in the world, and allowing our family unit to be an example of Christian virtues?"

Whether you both like tennis or not is more important for matchmaking shows, but in real life, it makes little difference to the success of the relationship. Everyone is different anyway, and it glorifies God when we learn how to live in harmony, by making compromises, sharing, allowing space for new ideas, and showing interest in each other's lives.

 

 

Let me just ask you a question- and I want you to be very honest with me here. Suppose you or a relative happens to be on the disadvantaged side of your choice, what will you advice? Everyone should avoid you? Never consider you good enough for marriage?

Remember, do to others as you would have them do to you. Just turn around the table to yourself, and just make it a food for thought.

That is a very compassionate and right attitude. I think everyone ought to be loved, I find the need for love attractive. But when it comes to deciding the well being of the offspring, health should be first in question and purpose, don't you think?

 

The well being and the health of the offspring is not for us as humans to determine. It is God that determines the well being and health of the offspring. Hence, the most important thing to do when looking for a life partner, is to ask for God's direction. Because I don't believe God can mismanage our destinies. Including those of our offsprings. If God says go, then just go regardless of what you see, and I promise you, he'll take care of things.

Whether we think that the health of the offspring is up to us to manage or not, if the child is born with disabilities it falls onto the human race to deal with that problem. I have not heard of too many deformed babies suddenly being healed by a miracle from heaven.

There are numerous precautions we can take these days with DNA analysis etc. to prevent abnormalities. I believe that if anyone in the world should take these precautions it is Christians. We do our best within our power, to select a partner with good health, the right attitudes towards living standards and planning a family, in order to reduce suffering in the world.

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Marriage is totally biblical, and yet Paul said he wished everyone was single like him, better focused on God.  The things is, God uses the relationships we have to teach us about relationship with Him.  If you have to consider another person in a totally selfless way, that is the way God wants us to consider Him, for that is the way He considers us.  It's not just about Him fulfilling all our needs, it's about us growing in maturity to the point that we are beyond take-take-take and are able to give.  That is what marriage is all about.  

At the marriage supper we will be giving all our worship unto the Most High.  Give, and it shall be given unto you.  Give, with your left hand not knowing what your right hand is doing.  Give in secret, that you would be rewarded openly.

Sometimes the giving will be a sacrifice.  Jesus is the best example of this.  It is very possible to do, but not very comfortable.  But that is where the maturity comes in.

I reckon you can tell just how mature a person is both physically and spiritually just by how giving they are in their nature.

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The maturity is coming to the truth- we must see the converting of things God is not keeping into the eternal things He 'IS' keeping-> This the only pursuit that is here for us who have been born into His Family... with all diligence do not let that which He is not keeping get in the way of this pursuit !!!    Love, Steven

Edited by enoob57

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Yes, Steven, I agree.  We are to let go of this world.  Give it up. Crucify our flesh.  All so that we can lay hold of and keep hold of His truth.  So I would say now that a giving nature is a good sign, or fruit of maturity, which I now see that there must be other fruits, such as being able to let go of the world and our will in the wisdom of obtaining God's will and eternity.  I would then determine that the Way, the Truth, and the Life, who is Christ Jesus, and our pursuit of Him is the goal of maturity, and our growth in Christ is the maturing in itself. 

 

If we can do this (in the Holy Spirit of course), then we will be His bride, without spot or blemish.  It takes two mature people to enter into a successful marriage.  Prayer helps a lot. :D

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