Breakup with a non-christian or not?

[JNMRR]

The problem: Man threatens with suicide if the woman tries to leave him and she can't stand that he die, so she stays with him.

This man is also lying about things and hiding things and is abusive and he is not a christian but the woman loves him very much as the man does too love her.

They are engaged, but not married yet.

He has already tried to suicide and always threatens to do it or even try it if there is any kind of drama going on.

But if she would want to breakup with him how could she do it since there is a risk that he dies?

The man lives in another country so it's even more harder to get help to him.

I'd like to have some christian opinions to this subject!

[FresnoJoe]

Welcome~!

~

My Opinion Is To Pray For Both

So I Am

Praying~!

[AliceJane]

Hi there! I'm no expert, but I feel like this all sounds very unhealthy. I watched my parents struggle with a similar situation and I always thought of it as a drowning person. The abusive boyfriend is the one drowning and she is jumping in to save him. The problem is, she isn't saving him and is instead, drowning herself. The only way for her to stop drowning would be to let him go, but then what of him? He just drowns? 

I say he seems very unstable and he seems to need professional help for his dilemmas. As a person who struggles with depression I've come to realize that a good and healthy relationship is not easy or even very possible to maintain if I'm not maintaining myself first. It shouldn't be her responsibility to keep him from drowning, even though she loves him and he, her. 

I will be praying for clarity in the situation and I hope things turn out ok!! 

[manuelf324]

Prayer for Gods intervention. Confess your faults to one another. Pray for one another the effectual fervent prayer of a RIGHTEOUS man availaith much. Make sure your TRULY  saved and not in any sin or God won't ANSWER your prayers 

[Reinitin]

If He is in another country pray for Her to be free of This bondage Pray the Lord create a sound mind in Her For he has not given us a spirit of fear but power love and a sound mind. Pray for Him that the Lord would send labors across his path because just keeping Him alive is not the complete work of the Lord. Securing His soul in Heaven Is the Lords desire and will.  Encourage her to change her phone number. The Lord holds the keys to death, hell and the grave. She's is not the one who made Him live nor the one who could keep Him alive. Be a witness to her if she reads the Word and asks of the Lord he will renew her mind and renew a right spirit in her.  Its emotional black mail, The lord doesn't call us to be slaves of darkness but salt and light to the world. Plus, I would ask the Lord to forgive them for their participation in witchcraft. Just because I discern they are under that Spirit. If She want to really help Him have her look for a mental health ministry where he lives and give Him the contact information before she changes her number. 

[Gus]

Regardless of if one is a Christian or not, this is a messed up, controlling relationship. It is highly unlikely the man will kill himself, he is just using that as a form of control. It has to finish, there is no healthy basis too continue this 'relationship' at all.

 

[JNMRR]

Thank you so much for the answers! I speak about myself in "third person" on my post so the woman is me and the man is my fiance.

I have thought about this very much and my feelings are very mixed up. I don't know what to do and when i feel like i want to leave him, i feel that it's impossible.

Everytime i have tried, he has spammed me with messages to every account he knows of me and also my brother who then blocked him. Then i finally decide to talk to him when he is saying that he is dying and going to hospital.  He has said to me that he will not live without me.

He has bad health problems so he can get heart attack and once he almost died, so the situation feels like walking on eggshells.

I always ask god to save him and not to let him die (when i have tried to leave him). Of course all depends on god's will.

I pray about this subject but i don't just know.. :/

 

Edited March 17, 2016 by JNMRR

[SHINY4UJESUS]

Ma'am I can relate, having experienced almost identical circumstance with a woman. This is the danger of soul ties, but we won't delve into that can of worms. Let me ofer some perspective:

1) If the situation is that extreme it may take an extreme measure to extricate yourself. You may want to involve the law to stand by as you gather your belongings and go. The first priority is your safety here, the potential to fix the relationship is far secondary.

2)It is written that the unbleiving partner is sanctified by the believeing partner, and there is functional wisdom to enduring a relationship with the unsaved in order to be light and salt; to minister to them. However, in this situation the seed will only bounce off a hardened heart, so its a risky enterprise at best.

3)As hard as it is to accept, one cannot bear the burden of guilt for another's actions. If the woman leaves, and the man does commit suicide; the woman must fight the idea that her actions were to blame..the man makes his own choice. Easier said than done, but in this situation staying could be certain death for both, leaving is possibly death for one. 

4)Perhaps an intervention is needed. Police, pastors, whatever is necessary to remove the man from the situation and get him help for the mental and emotional slavery he is in is critical. Once his state is being tended to, while he also is removed from the situation; it will make decisions much clearer. 

5)Beware: I know full well how people can use your own tendency to care to manipulate you and emotionally blackmail you. More often than not, the threat of suicide is a bluff designed to force you to succumb to their will; not a literal intention. 

In the end, BE SURE YOU ARE SAFE..sometimes great sacrifice is necessary to make it through a storm like this.

[missmuffet]

On 3/12/2016 at 7:49 PM, JNMRR said:

The problem: Man threatens with suicide if the woman tries to leave him and she can't stand that he die, so she stays with him.

This man is also lying about things and hiding things and is abusive and he is not a christian but the woman loves him very much as the man does too love her.

They are engaged, but not married yet.

He has already tried to suicide and always threatens to do it or even try it if there is any kind of drama going on.

But if she would want to breakup with him how could she do it since there is a risk that he dies?

The man lives in another country so it's even more harder to get help to him.

I'd like to have some christian opinions to this subject!

The man is manipulating her. He is not a Christian. If the woman is a born again Christian she should not marry the man because they will be unevenly yolked. The Bible tells us that this is not a marriage looked well on by God.

It is the man's choice. If he wants to commit suicide then he either gets help, stops threatening you, or he commits suicide. He can not make you feel guilty for the choices that he makes. He is not a good choice for a marriage partner.

[Leonardo Von]

On 3/13/2016 at 0:49 AM, JNMRR said:

The problem: Man threatens with suicide if the woman tries to leave him and she can't stand that he die, so she stays with him.

This man is also lying about things and hiding things and is abusive and he is not a christian but the woman loves him very much as the man does too love her.

They are engaged, but not married yet.

He has already tried to suicide and always threatens to do it or even try it if there is any kind of drama going on.

But if she would want to breakup with him how could she do it since there is a risk that he dies?

The man lives in another country so it's even more harder to get help to him.

I'd like to have some christian opinions to this subject!

Greeting, JNMRR

 

Grace and mercy and peace from our Lord Jesus Christ.

It’s with much love in Christ that I begin saying:

 

Ø  “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” (1John 4.18).

 

Many think that the important is go around doing things and, then, to fight and pray so that everything work well. See what happened with who thought like this:

 

Ø  “Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: he is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great.” (Luke 6.47-49).

 

I know that is difficult to dig deep (yet more when we haven’t the fit tools). Notwithstanding, to try to settle our lives on a base that wasn’t what Jesus speaks with us, it is to condemn everything to failure.

Remember that the sand in the hourglass of your life is running out. When the last grain to fall, arrived your moment of going away. If this time is near, what do you have to present to Jesus (meditate on Luke 12.20,21; Romans 14.10; 2Corinthians 5.10)?

The important isn’t only to believe in Jesus and serve Him. See:

 

Ø  “Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of [ this ] life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier. And if a man also strive for masteries, [ yet ] is he not crowned, except he strive lawfully.” (2Timothy 2.3-5).

 

Who enter into the place of the wedding “naked”, that is, without proper clothing, it is cast out:

 

Ø  “And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: and he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast [ him ] into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few [ are ] chosen.” (Matthew 22.11-14).

 

Based on all this, I urge you to search exclusively Jesus (solely Him).

 

Ø  “Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we stronger than he?” (1Corithians 10.22).

 

You really believe that all your devotion to Jesus, however sincere, it is sufficient to transform your fiancé and give to him all that he verily needs? Don’t take this burden on yourself. Give it to Jesus (Matthew 11.28-30).

To be clearer: we aren’t saved by our works (much less those who we love), but by Jesus favoring, with His love working in us, those who He gave us. But, for this, it’s necessary that we trust totally in Him (Ephesians 2.8,9).

Certainly, He is immeasurably more powerful. Not to mention that He love your fiancé immensely more than you, besides, He have in His hands the keys of death and hell:

 

Ø  “And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last: I [ am ] he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.” (Revelation 1.17,18).

 

Who it this Jesus to Whom you are serving? Do you think that He will allow something in the life of your fiancé that isn’t strictly in accordance to His plan? Meditate in the verses below and permit that Jesus be verily God in your life and in the life of your fiancé:

 

Ø  “I know that thou canst do every [ thing ], and [ that ] no thought can be withholden from thee.” (Job 42.2).

Ø  “Yea, before the day [ was ] I [ am ] he; and [ there is ] none that can deliver out of my hand: I will work, and who shall let it?” (Isaiah 43.13).

 

May Jesus make you to see the work of Him in favor of all that waits in Him (Isaiah 64.4):

 

Ø  “Be still, and know that I [ am ] God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalms 46.10).

Ø  “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring [ it ] to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.” (Psalms 37.4-7).