Shayha Posted May 2, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 42 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 27 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/14/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 2 hours ago, kwikphilly said: Blessings Shayha...... Yeah,I think it was a very nice suggestion but it seems the reasons he gave you to say "not the best time"are valid..........He does sound like a nice guy and not one to make up lame excuses,especially that he is a man of God,,,,,,,,It is good to be focused on studies & doing what he must do,decently & orderly,,,, Respect his position and let God do what He does & time play out,,,,,,,my best to you for many Blessings Love,Kwik Yeah, I guess I just kind of viewed it as there still being time where he could unwind and we could hang out. Even if it was just a couple hours each day. But perhaps you're right; I need to not worry and let God handle it. If God wills it to happen, it will in His time, not mine. I just need to be patient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted May 2, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 306 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,130 Content Per Day: 4.64 Reputation: 27,805 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted May 2, 2016 Dear Sister.... Patience is one of the beautiful fruits of the Spirit that I rprobably resist the most(in many areas),,,,,,,,lol It is a gift,a virtue,a Blessing from God and one that takes complete surrender to the Will of our Father by trust,faith,obedience & Christs Lordship,,,,,,,,,,,not always so easy but certainly for our good & to give God Glory!!!! With love-in Christ,Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shayha Posted May 4, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 42 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 27 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/14/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 4, 2016 Yeah, it's definitely not easy. lol That's for sure. But I'm trying to get better at it; it's just especially hard when you see a potential opportunity and want to take it. Not to mention the feeling of uncertainty as to whether or not another opportunity shall arise. But that's where the trust comes in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted May 4, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 306 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,130 Content Per Day: 4.64 Reputation: 27,805 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted May 4, 2016 That is right Shayha,,,,,,if it is indeed Gods Will for you both then there will be many opportunities to make it happen,Gods Plan & Purpose for you is ALWAYS for your good & To give Him Glory,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,we must always remember WHO Blesses us,Provides for us,Shelters us,brings us Peace,Love,Joy,Prosperity,Good Health,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,EVERYTHING & even in the lean times or less desirable stages of life He is still there,right beside us,with us,abiding in us,,,,,,,,to WORK all things for our good,,,,,,,,so give Him Praise,Honor,Glory & Thanksgiving in ALL things,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,& TRUST TRUST TRUST With love-in Christ,Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shayha Posted September 13, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 42 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 27 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/14/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted September 13, 2016 Hi, everyone. It's been a while. Thankfully I've been busy because I finally got the teaching job I've been praying for and I'm doing well with that. Lot of hard work this first year along with finally being on my own but the Heavenly Father is taking care of me. My relationship with my online friend is still solid and yeah I still love him just as much. lol He's been encouraging and supporting me all along the way. However just last night, something came up that may not end well. My mother came up and was helping me clean while I was a work, and she stumbled upon a list of gifts I made like last year and on it was the name of my friend and his planned gift. When I came home, it was brought up and she asked me tons of questions about it and who he was. Problem here is my family is very much against online relationships/friendships. I've felt the need to lie about talking to people online for fear of losing him. But now I'm afraid I'm going to lose my best friend and my family's trust. I hate that I've not been able to talk to them about him and I never wanted to lie. But I knew that if I did admit I was talking to him, they would likely force me to separate from him and not speak to him again. They have made me do that once before when he and I were first getting to know each other, and the pain of that separation and not knowing if I'd talk to him again was unbearable. I know that's not a good reason to lie; there's never a good reason to lie. But it was my reasoning, to preserve the relationship I had with my friend. She also called and told my dad about it. He asked me questions on the phone and though I didn't explain or reveal all of it, I did say how he was someone I met online and I still talk to him, he's not from my state or the surrounding but he's from the US. I assured him I never did anything stupid, and he said we will have to have a serious talk about all this. I felt so sick and upset last night I went to bed in tears. I prayed to God and pleaded so much for Him to not forsake me in this, and begged for His forgiveness for not telling my parents the truth about it all. I still feel upset and I feel like I'm going to feel this way until I find out what is to come of this. I ask for any advice or prayers anyone can offer please. I know I probably deserve this after hiding it from them for so long; I just really need some help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shayha Posted September 15, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 42 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 27 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/14/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted September 15, 2016 Seems like my dad may be coming up tomorrow and chances are, he will want to sit down and talk about it all. I know at this point the truth must come out, but I'm worried of being judged and losing or hurting the relationship with my family or the relationship with my best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shayha Posted August 31, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 42 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 27 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/14/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Hello, everyone. It's been a long time since I last posted. I've been so busy with my first full year of teaching and now God has blessed me with the start of a second year. There have also been recent health issues with my family, and most of my attention and free time is dedicated to that. My situation with my best friend is still the same. I'm still just as crazy about him; nothing seems to have waned. Yet, he still doesn't feel the same for me. Emotionally, I'm able to accept and cope with that so much better. Especially when I look back to the Word of God for wisdom. Of course I still pray everyday for the Lord to guide me on the path He has for me, and for clarity about my friend. Each passing day, I feel more certain my friend is the one despite his admittance of not reciprocating those feelings. It's to the point where I'm so sure that I can't even imagine being with another, even if my friend disappears from my life or gets married to another. I tell him I love him each and everyday and sometimes more than once a day. Though he has admitted to me sometimes me telling him I love him makes him uncomfortable because he knows how I really feel. It's difficult for sure; I imagine this must be how Jesus feels when He loves those who reject him. Though my friend and I are still extremely close and it doesn't seem my feelings for him bother him enough to let me go. Any help, prayers, or advice is very appreciated. God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shayha Posted December 19, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 42 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 27 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/14/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted December 19, 2017 Hey, everyone. It's been a while. Life has been nothing short of hectic. I have a slight update with my situation, though not much has really changed. Yesterday I had a dream about my friend and I. It was next year and he had gotten his own apartment and I was visiting him over the summer. We had decided to start dating and after his long hard day at work, I made him a candlelit dinner, a hot bath, and gave him a back massage. It was all intimate, not necessarily sexual, which I've noticed about all my dreams about him. He told me he loved me, and though this was all a dream, it made my day. Needless to say I told my friend about it; he responded humorously while still telling me to take it down a notch (as if I can control what I dream). It eventually lead to a conversation in which he described to me a scenario where a guy at work was messing around with him and said he should get himself a girlfriend. My friend had responded with "No girls want this. Last couple said I'm fat." When he said that to me, I teasingly called him a liar because I clearly want to be with him and don't think he's fat. He said however he doesn't count friends, which is the category I fall under for him. He said it's easier to start a relationship with someone you just met than someone you know. That totally didn't make any sense to me so I inquired into it, and it basically boiled down to "you don't get hurt as badly or lose someone as important to you that way." When things don't work out between friends, the friendship is never the same and they go their own separate ways and never seen again. He explained to me a scenario in which he tried dating a friend who had strong feelings for him (like I do). But it didn't work out and he doesn't even know where she is or what she's up to. Apparently he stopped being interested in her, but she thought they were great. The one thing he regrets most about it is he felt he was leading her on in a lie by being in a relationship. He then told me this: There's a reason why I'm not gonna try with you and it's not because of looks. You're attractive. It's I don't have strong feelings. I've feelings towards you as a friend but when it comes for something more there's nothing there, so yeah. Hate to sound cold. I could tell this was something very hard for him to talk about, because he expressed how he likes to keep that kind of stuff to himself, even not telling his guy buddies and family. It was of course hard for me to hear as well, and you can imagine I started to doubt myself again. But I replied to him by saying this: I'm not saying this next part out of selfishness in hopes that you'd change your mind and go out with me. Obviously that would make me happy, but that's not the reason I'm saying this. If we did try it, and you still never felt anything, I promise to you that I would never vanish like that. I couldn't. And honestly I think the 50 times you've already turned me down have proven that. lol Our friendship is so strong that time, distance, parents, fights, and heartbreaks haven't been able to scratch it. God blessed me when he gave me you; I wouldn't go and trash that blessing no matter what. God may never release me of my feelings for you. Maybe He will slap me silly and show me someone else who I'm really supposed to be with. Or maybe God will slap you silly. lol I don't know. I don't think either of us can really know other than taking to heart what He says in the Bible. And that's what I've been trying to do. Though maybe it hasn't quelled my feelings for you, at least it assures me whatever happens will be ok and is in God's hands, even if I live 100 years a single life. I don't know what else to do but continue to wait and see what God wants. I really wish this was more clear cut than it is and God could just tell me straight up what He wants. It's not really any easier knowing that my love is stronger and his goes nowhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerenSunflower Posted December 21, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 7 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 125 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 215 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/11/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted December 21, 2017 OK, I came across this late and just giving you my observations: 1. If you are living and working on your own, and paying your own bills, and going on 27 by now, your family has zero rights to tell you who you can and can't date, and how to live your life. Next decade will be 30. You need to be on your own mentally and emotionally as well as physically, and this needs to happen sooner rather than later. 2. OK, so you got your act together, but no word about your guy. Who, last we heard, didn't have a job, was struggling with his education, living at home, AND dating other women! And the last update is he reiterated the same things he said all along: HE JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS. This is not a guy you want to marry, and it being online really has nothing to do with that. The fact there's all this secrecy and hiding things STILL 3-4 years later, very big red flag. This is not a healthy situation. We can get spiritual leadings from sources other than God. This is what it objectively looks like to me. He is never going to be anything except a friend. You do not have a romantic future with this man. He is not someone you want to marry. I know I didn't sugarcoat this, and if I were you and read this, heartbreak. I really really feel for you, because I actually have been a similar situation. But it sounds to me that your position has become more entrenched over time, to the point when he tells you he will never have romantic feelings for you (and hasn't all these years also), you didn't believe him. He is telling the truth; his actions of dating other women during all this time back that up. At some point you will have to break off. And that will be very very hard. Again, I really really feel for you; this is a very difficult situation. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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