Jump to content
IGNORED

I Think I'm Having a Meltdown


Recommended Posts


  • Group:  Worthy Ministers
  • Followers:  96
  • Topic Count:  304
  • Topics Per Day:  0.08
  • Content Count:  18,096
  • Content Per Day:  4.65
  • Reputation:   27,773
  • Days Won:  327
  • Joined:  08/03/2013
  • Status:  Online

Blessings JTC,,,,,,,

     I also really appreciate firestorms response,,,,,,I was hardly able t7o keep the tears from streaming down my8 cheeks ,not from sadness but because of the overwhelming Joy I Received from His Love ,Compassion & Kindness to you,,,,,,,,,,,,,,& all I could think of was 'Wow,that is ALL Jesus speaking through this guy",,,,,,,Jesus Loves you,can't you hear it? Does that not say He is not ready for you to come home?

Quote

These are all excuses (however painful) for us not to appreciate even the breath we have from God.                          posted by Marilyn

  Brother,I know it may not sound so loving ,kind & compassionate & I know life can be difficult when you are alone but the thing is,we are NOT ALONE and that is where we turn ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I know it is very hard not to focus on your circumstance but there is ONE that can change circumstance,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,why do you not have any friends JTC? You must ask yourself that question & ask God to show you what it is that perhaps you are not seeing?There usually is a reason why someone is without family or friends & being disabled & not able to get out & about is not really a reason,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    Maybe God has ALLOWED you to be by yourself for a specific reason,to turn to Him COMPLETELY?When we are COMPLETELY focused & He is FIRST in our life then we are COMPLETE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Then is when He will add "people" I am not making any judgements or saying this is the answer,I'm only saying what I am moved t o say for your consideration,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I do know one thing for sure,all I NEED is the LORD and I am madly in Love with Him,,,,,,,,,,,,He has ADDED to my life more than I ever dreamed was possible but only after I was perfectly fulfilled by HIM ALONE,,,,,,I'm now married to a wonderful husband,after all these years of being alone,,,,,,,,,lonely?No never,,,,,,Only God fills that void,,,,,,,,,,,,,,not family,not friends                           To God be the Glory,praying for you                         With love-in Christ,Kwik

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Diamond Member
  • Followers:  5
  • Topic Count:  10
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  1,661
  • Content Per Day:  0.49
  • Reputation:   1,292
  • Days Won:  2
  • Joined:  12/21/2014
  • Status:  Offline

2 hours ago, JTC said:

Kan, what do you mean by helping myself?

By the sounds of it you have a typical condition associated with a driving job, compression of the lower spine. I don't know what the medical system is like in NY, but it is likely to be unsupportive of people with your condition unless they have loads of insurance, which the average person cannot afford.

If there is no permanent damage to your spine, which there doesn't seem to be, it is possible with exercises to improve the condition of the lumbar. Sciatica is the typical result of the nerves being irritated or compressed by the surrounding tissue which could include bone. Often the inflexibility of the spine will further prevent a proper blood supply to the area/nerves, resulting in the accumulation of used nerve and muscle chemicals, which cause the pain.

If you are over weight, then that would put further stress onto the lumbar. The other main factor is your diet, which has to be nourishing, easy to digest and alkaline forming, to help keep acidosis under control. Unfortunately most medications are acid forming, but at least you may get temporary relief from them until there is an improvement.

If you think any of this may help, I can give you some basics, so that when you are searching the net, you'll have some of idea of what is out there.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, JTC said:

I've noticed I (maybe everyone) go though time periods where everything goes wrong and eventually things seem to improve. That's not a meltdown. I feel like I've reached the end. I guess I believe it's a grievous sin to kill ones self. But if I didn't believe that I'd be looking for a way to do it. My health is so poor I no longer have quality of life. I keep wishing I had a terminal disease. When I hear of another person who died my feeling is "what luck". However, the dead person always had either a family or good friends. He/she will be sorely missed. That upsets me. God should take me, and let 1 of them stay with their family. Other than God, family is the most important thing this world has. 

I am sure you already know, God does love you, but sometimes it is difficult to feel it. .Talking about it is good.

Have you any Church you attended previously? Perhaps someone could help you, as you wish to help others? Could you be an answer to their prayers? Just a thought is all.

Prayers for jtc

Joline

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Royal Member
  • Followers:  18
  • Topic Count:  200
  • Topics Per Day:  0.05
  • Content Count:  2,795
  • Content Per Day:  0.65
  • Reputation:   1,502
  • Days Won:  1
  • Joined:  06/25/2012
  • Status:  Offline
  • Birthday:  07/26/1952

Kan, Yeah you know what you're talking about. I seem to recall a spinal X-Ray being done in the early 90's. I've always had a weight problem so I probably complained about pain. The pain was very minor but even then I had a herniated disc. In 2010 a Lumbar MRI was done. I have the radiologists report but I can't find it, not all of it. I believe 2 discs were degenerating, minor stenosis was seen at L4 - L5 and there was a few other things I don't remember. The doc described my back as "a mess" however he was quick to add nothing was severe enough to warrant surgery. I am grateful to God I'm not in as much pain as the people they do surgery on. Spinal surgery is so delicate even the top specialists don't want to do it unless pain is unbearable. Physical therapy is prescribed but here I go with no car or a way to get back and forth, and then I only have Medicare. I wonder if there's any kind of a brace that would allow me to walk further before I have to stop. The local pharmacist seems to not think so but he's the dumbest pharmacist I have ever known, and I've known at least 4. All I'm saying is I can't go by what he says. And again, without a car I'm hard pressed to get to a spinal orthopedist. I'm in a little town where there are a few buses so it is possible to survive without a car. Just so long as I can get what I need in this town. Special diets are another problem for me. I have Gout, ICS-D, and I'm allergic to tomatoes. And being all alone with depression just makes everything worse. I often think if I was predisposed to psychosis I'd be believing I'm dead and in some kind of limbo. But I'm quite sane. 

On the very rare occasions when I have had someone to speak to, even for 1 hour or so, I start to feel better fast.

As bad as this is things were worse a year ago. I spent 1 yr without TV or Internet service. Then I discovered it's possible again to get TV with these new indoor antennas. It's about time. I grew up with free TV. In my mind paying to see TV is almost an abomination. Actually I think I do pretty good all things considered. But yesterday was 1 of those days. It's just a pity all I have to look forward to is death at only 63. I had planned on working until 70, at least.

I assume God has a good reason for why my life went the way it did. I wish I could know why but I doubt any of us ever will. I'm constantly reminded of the things King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes. Why should should some men, the kind who wouldn't lift a finger for another person unless they're paid have all good things come to them while men who wouldn't hurt a dog have all kinds of things go wrong. I don't know.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Diamond Member
  • Followers:  8
  • Topic Count:  3
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  1,499
  • Content Per Day:  0.43
  • Reputation:   1,665
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  10/17/2014
  • Status:  Offline
  • Birthday:  03/31/1955

Hi jtc , I'm sorry you are feeling this way , and I too find that sadness goes in cycles. I am also alone with a chronic illness, but I agree with firestormx , we have given our lives to our Lord, and he is with us , he went through pain , sadness and loneliness.

he knows what we go through, he's been there .

One day , we will have accomplished everything we are meant too .Then we will be ready for heaven , Sorry I'm over simplifying ,

Will pray for you , and hope you will realize what a blessing you are .

petula 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Diamond Member
  • Followers:  8
  • Topic Count:  3
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  1,499
  • Content Per Day:  0.43
  • Reputation:   1,665
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  10/17/2014
  • Status:  Offline
  • Birthday:  03/31/1955

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better , we are similar ages , I live in a small suburb an hour from Sydney.

I asked the local seniors club if I could join them a few years ago , I'm supposed to get them tea or coffee and help them , but they rarely need it . It does get me out of the house though and I love it. They have taught me a lot about life , and they love their lives . 

I'm sure if you went to some of the groups , they would love to have you , and if they say no , it's not where God wants you , try another , and keep trying .

I sometimes feel like I'm in God's waiting room, I've had so many close calls . We are still here , which means our Lord still has work for us to do . Let's try and figure it out .

I loved what kwik said , you never know what our wonderful Saviour is going to bring into our lives . 

Who knows what could happen next week or next month.

Got bless you dear .

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Diamond Member
  • Followers:  5
  • Topic Count:  10
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  1,661
  • Content Per Day:  0.49
  • Reputation:   1,292
  • Days Won:  2
  • Joined:  12/21/2014
  • Status:  Offline

3 hours ago, JTC said:

Kan, Yeah you know what you're talking about. I seem to recall a spinal X-Ray being done in the early 90's. I've always had a weight problem so I probably complained about pain. The pain was very minor but even then I had a herniated disc. In 2010 a Lumbar MRI was done. I have the radiologists report but I can't find it, not all of it. I believe 2 discs were degenerating, minor stenosis was seen at L4 - L5 and there was a few other things I don't remember. The doc described my back as "a mess" however he was quick to add nothing was severe enough to warrant surgery. I am grateful to God I'm not in as much pain as the people they do surgery on. Spinal surgery is so delicate even the top specialists don't want to do it unless pain is unbearable. Physical therapy is prescribed but here I go with no car or a way to get back and forth, and then I only have Medicare. I wonder if there's any kind of a brace that would allow me to walk further before I have to stop. The local pharmacist seems to not think so but he's the dumbest pharmacist I have ever known, and I've known at least 4. All I'm saying is I can't go by what he says. And again, without a car I'm hard pressed to get to a spinal orthopedist. I'm in a little town where there are a few buses so it is possible to survive without a car. Just so long as I can get what I need in this town. Special diets are another problem for me. I have Gout, ICS-D, and I'm allergic to tomatoes. And being all alone with depression just makes everything worse. I often think if I was predisposed to psychosis I'd be believing I'm dead and in some kind of limbo. But I'm quite sane. 

On the very rare occasions when I have had someone to speak to, even for 1 hour or so, I start to feel better fast.

As bad as this is things were worse a year ago. I spent 1 yr without TV or Internet service. Then I discovered it's possible again to get TV with these new indoor antennas. It's about time. I grew up with free TV. In my mind paying to see TV is almost an abomination. Actually I think I do pretty good all things considered. But yesterday was 1 of those days. It's just a pity all I have to look forward to is death at only 63. I had planned on working until 70, at least.

I assume God has a good reason for why my life went the way it did. I wish I could know why but I doubt any of us ever will. I'm constantly reminded of the things King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes. Why should should some men, the kind who wouldn't lift a finger for another person unless they're paid have all good things come to them while men who wouldn't hurt a dog have all kinds of things go wrong. I don't know.   

One of the problems with back pain, is not always the severity of it, but whether it is constant, or comes up when you don't have the energy to deal with it. That is quite relentless and depression is very common with this condition. 

The gout is a sign of a chemical imbalance, you have acidosis, which is the cause of pain, poor recovery, restlessness, arthritis and nearly every western disease. The organs of the body like the kidneys and liver work at maintaining the right PH balance in the body. If the diet does not assist this process, the organs are over worked and can break down.

I am not qualified to give you any medical advise, but I have researched health issues for a number of years, with the intention of simplifying it for practical understanding and use. At first I thought it would be too difficult and complex, as some medical professionals make it, but it is quite simple, as it should be.

You need three things - a new way to enjoy eating, special exercises to relieve tension in the spine and to aid flexibility and blood circulation, and special treatment you can give yourself at home. I'll be posting the new way of eating in the thread "What is nutrition?" under "Cooking." The new way of eating will also enable your body to combat other diseases you have.

We are looking at 3 to 18 months to recover, depending on your overall state of health now. Will you ever be able to walk upright? You will know within about 3 months, whether you are improving or not. If you are showing signs of less pain and greater mobility by then, it is likely you will be able to go the rest of the way and walk upright again.

The special exercises you may find on the net, which involve stretching, and strengthening the muscles. There are plenty of sites for that. The thing to remember is, only do what is comfortable, start off with very small and gentle moves, which may seem like they are doing nothing, but they are, and be consistent, do some every day.

If you feel sore the next day, take a day or two off, and continue the next and so forth. After about 4 weeks your levels of muscle pain will have lessened, because the benefits of getting fit are coming through. But before you begin on an exercise plan, show it to your doctor for advice.

The special treatments you can apply to your lower back, involve using very warm water and icy water. Simply called the hot and cold treatment.

When you are having a shower, hold the shower head over the lumbar and use warm water on it for about 10 minutes, turn the temperature up until it is as hot as you like it and no more, don't burn yourself.

Then gradually change the temperature to cold water, and leave that on for 1 minute and then gradually warm up again, for about 3 minutes and then cool down for 1 minute, then warm up again for 3, and cool down for 1. Do this for about half an hour every day, and watch your power bill soar. If that is a problem, then use a hot water bottle, on your back, until you have had enough and place on an ice pack for as long as you can stand it. The ice is not as harmful as the hot, you have to be careful with heat. Remember with age your senses are not always accurate and that applies especially if you are on pain killers etc. 

Do the changeover in the same time and repeatedly - 3 minutes hot, 1 minute icy or longer if you can handle it. This whole exercise does two things, it causes the blood to move in under the heat, and removes the blood under the cold, the blood vessels change diameter and it acts like a pump to every affected cell, bringing new blood and removing toxins.

It also helps to distract the pain nerves, since the energy will be used up in sensing temperature. The extra blood circulation also helps get rid of lactic acid, and assists in moving the chemicals - neuro-transmitters, around the nerves and interstitial fluids.

I will also show you a way to get a high dose of antioxidants, amino acids and minerals without using expensive supplements. You will need these to repair the damaged areas.

Just one thing you may have to buy is silica tablets. Silica gives your bones a smooth surface, which is necessary to prevent any muscle, tendons or nerves being damaged by movement. Things need to slide over the bone. An acid condition increases the surface porosity of the bones, at the same time it encourages calcium deposits in the wrong places. This creates a rough surface which can irritate and or inflame your soft tissues from movement.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Worthy Ministers
  • Followers:  96
  • Topic Count:  304
  • Topics Per Day:  0.08
  • Content Count:  18,096
  • Content Per Day:  4.65
  • Reputation:   27,773
  • Days Won:  327
  • Joined:  08/03/2013
  • Status:  Online

Quote

Physical therapy is prescribed but here I go with no car or a way to get back and forth, and then I only have Medicare.

Medicare furnishes the disabled w4ith transportation to & from ANY doctor visits,there is no payment out of pocket,,,,,,,,,,,this is the same in ALL 50 States

Depression is a spirit,Deliverance is a no cost,no prescription plan,,,,,,it is provided by the Holy Spirit when you have the proper Insurance Coverage,,,,,,"Jesus,through Faith -by the Grace of God"     Many will argue but they then they too would prefer to accept mans diagnosis and claim the title"Depression"     You may be Saved & you can look forward to Eternal Love,Joy & Peace in the Presence of God but you can also LIVE SAVED & have a life more abundant here & now ,,,,,having Love,Joy,Peace,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Jesus died in your place that you may live life more abundantly

But you must surrender "self" or this is w4hat you have "I" am sick,"I" am depressed."I" am lonely,"I","I","I',,,,,,,,,JTC,I realize this is not what you want to hear & it may not sound very consoling & compassionate but it is the hard Truth,,,,,,,,,It is not going to help you to make the choice t o be FREE in Christ by telling you"Awww ,you poor thing"   You are NOT a poor thing,you are the son of God Most High & He Humbled Himself to Servitude to come here as we are to take all your suffering,pain,iniquities,forsakeness,sickness,disease,sin & everything else that is horrible & miserable,instead of you,,,,who deserved it(just like me!)He loves you & has a Purpose for you to Serve Him,,,,,,,,,

Quote

I assume God has a good reason for why my life went the way it did.

God has little to do with how your life has turned out but He has ALLOWED it for a reason,,,,,,,perhaps the REASON is that you will see that you make the CHOICES to Receive what He has for you or not to,,,,,,,,,,,,,,do you think that God desires that anyone NOT have His Joy,His Peace,His Comfort ?,,,,,,,,,,,,,You must choose to surrender "self" & self loathing & pity & doom & gloom are all a part of "self"      Renew your mind with the things of God,,,,,,,,,,,,,,fill your mind with Praise & Rejoicing & Gratitude & Appreciating the very air you breathe,,,,,,,,,,be Thankful for what HE HAS NOT ALLOWED in your life because you are HIS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,no seeing eye dog,no oxygen tank,no prosthetic limbs,no grael tracheal microphone etc,,,,etc,,,,,,                                              I say this all with total love,the Love of Jesus               Your Sister Kwik

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, JTC said:

Kan, Yeah you know what you're talking about. I seem to recall a spinal X-Ray being done in the early 90's. I've always had a weight problem so I probably complained about pain. The pain was very minor but even then I had a herniated disc. In 2010 a Lumbar MRI was done. I have the radiologists report but I can't find it, not all of it. I believe 2 discs were degenerating, minor stenosis was seen at L4 - L5 and there was a few other things I don't remember. The doc described my back as "a mess" however he was quick to add nothing was severe enough to warrant surgery. I am grateful to God I'm not in as much pain as the people they do surgery on. Spinal surgery is so delicate even the top specialists don't want to do it unless pain is unbearable. Physical therapy is prescribed but here I go with no car or a way to get back and forth, and then I only have Medicare. I wonder if there's any kind of a brace that would allow me to walk further before I have to stop. The local pharmacist seems to not think so but he's the dumbest pharmacist I have ever known, and I've known at least 4. All I'm saying is I can't go by what he says. And again, without a car I'm hard pressed to get to a spinal orthopedist. I'm in a little town where there are a few buses so it is possible to survive without a car. Just so long as I can get what I need in this town. Special diets are another problem for me. I have Gout, ICS-D, and I'm allergic to tomatoes. And being all alone with depression just makes everything worse. I often think if I was predisposed to psychosis I'd be believing I'm dead and in some kind of limbo. But I'm quite sane. 

On the very rare occasions when I have had someone to speak to, even for 1 hour or so, I start to feel better fast.

As bad as this is things were worse a year ago. I spent 1 yr without TV or Internet service. Then I discovered it's possible again to get TV with these new indoor antennas. It's about time. I grew up with free TV. In my mind paying to see TV is almost an abomination. Actually I think I do pretty good all things considered. But yesterday was 1 of those days. It's just a pity all I have to look forward to is death at only 63. I had planned on working until 70, at least.

I assume God has a good reason for why my life went the way it did. I wish I could know why but I doubt any of us ever will. I'm constantly reminded of the things King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes. Why should should some men, the kind who wouldn't lift a finger for another person unless they're paid have all good things come to them while men who wouldn't hurt a dog have all kinds of things go wrong. I don't know.   

Hello Jtc.

I suspect you may have already discussed this with your doctors, but just in case? Maybe look into this further.

Medicare Coverage of Nonemergency Transportation

By Caring.com Staff

What It Is

Nonemergency transportation of a patient to and from home

What's Covered

Neither Medicare Part A nor Medicare Part B covers routine transportation for a patient to or from home in nonemergency situations. However, Medicare Part B sometimes covers nonemergency ambulance transportation between home and a hospital or other place of treatment or diagnosis if the patient's doctor certifies in writing that transportation in something other than an ambulance would endanger the patient's health (see Ambulance Services).

A written statement by a doctor is necessary for Medicare Part B coverage of nonemergency ambulance coverage, but it doesn't guarantee Medicare coverage. To be certain of coverage for nonemergency ambulance transportation, ask the treating physician's office to get prior approval from Medicare Part B. If a patient hires ambulance transportation but it isn't approved by Medicare Part B, the patient could be personally responsible for the full cost.

Praying for you jtc.

Joline

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Advanced Member
  • Followers:  1
  • Topic Count:  13
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  194
  • Content Per Day:  0.06
  • Reputation:   230
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  07/12/2015
  • Status:  Offline

Thanks for the honesty.  I can relate as when I am going through the most challenging, tiring, and hopeless of circumstances it becomes easy to lose sight of positive goals and purposes and truly long for it all to be over.  Like you, I wouldn't be ending it myself, but have longed for that time here after more than once.  That is when faith can really kick in although you don't feel like it and you feel like you may be having a melt down.  I won't say go talk to someone because that can make it worse unless you get very desperate and need professional or medical help.   I would say keep saying.."God, I trust you.  This is in your hands,  Show me the way of escape from the darkness." 

He is in the darkness as He is in the light.  He hears.  He has taken my hand in the darkness more than once especially in the last 70 years. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...