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being friend with ungodly guy


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My ex-boyfriend is not a christian. Though we broke up, we are still friends. Now I feel uncomfortable talking to him. We promised each other that we will stay as friends till the last. So I don't want to break the promise. I am confused. Should I continue this friendship or not?

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I have friends who are lost, too.  It's perfectly fine to be friends and to be friendly with the lost.  My lost friends know EXACTLY about my relationship with Christ.  And they know that I don't watch some of movies they do or go some of the places that they do.   And they know that I pray for them because I tell them.

One caveat - because this guy is a former boyfriend - be careful.  Don't fall into old habits.  Make some new ones - pray like mad for his immortal soul.  Invite him along with other friends to church.

Make sure you have plenty of Christian friends, too.

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Continue to be friends but not close friends.  Close friends tend to drag you away from Christ if they are not saved.  You want to hang out with strong Christians and to have some with you when you are around him.  Our son used to invite an unsaved girl to go boating with him and other Christians, and finally invited her to his young adults group in Church which met in a home.  Afterward she started crying and confessed to him that she didn't think God would ever forgive her for all she had done.  He led her through the Bible showing her how to receive Christ.  She did so right there in the car.  He married her a year later.  She asked for an evangelistic message to be preached at her wedding, since most of her family was not saved and had never even been in a church!

Jayne gave you very good advice.

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Thank you so much for your advises. The problem is he has moved on and is in relationship with another ungodly girl. But I haven't moved on. I am still in love with him. So I am angry with him. He knows it still he wants us to be remain friends. He calls me as his best friend but I cannot think him as my friend. I don't want to be in love with him. I want to place God above all in my life. But he is a biggest distraction. I want to pray for him and tell him about Christ without feeling any negative emotions.

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Hi Warrior of Jesus,

Pleased to meet you dear sister. I do feel for you as our emotions are very strong especially if we have become attached to someone. We tend to think that only that person can fulfil all my needs etc. Romance & dating bring all those feelings out & we can be overcome by them. However.....if you can, by an act of your will, give that relationship to the Lord, humbly on your knees, then the Lord will help you to not only over come those feelings but to help you replace them with a mature understanding of right relationships.

A crisis is often the catalysis to get us to give over to the Lord what is controlling us. a right relationship is not about being controlled in our emotions but seeking the best for another & waiting the Lord`s timing for the right relationship.

Hope that helps, Marilyn.

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Thank you. I am still confused about talking to him.

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Quote

Thank you so much for your advises. The problem is he has moved on and is in relationship with another ungodly girl. But I haven't moved on. I am still in love with him. So I am angry with him. He knows it still he wants us to be remain friends. He calls me as his best friend but I cannot think him as my friend. I don't want to be in love with him. I want to place God above all in my life. But he is a biggest distraction. I want to pray for him and tell him about Christ without feeling any negative emotions.                         posted by Warrior of Jesus

Ahhhh,so that's the real deal,I was wondering w4hat the big deal & confusion was about being "friendly" with an unBeliever,,,,,,,this is a very hazardous mindset my dear one,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,the "desires of your heart" are in the wrong place,,,,,,,,,,,,,surrendering "self" to the Lord without reservations is what is missing & when your heart(which is made of "flesh") is not completely Filled with love for Jesus,there is room for something else,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you see,when your COMPLETE in the Lord & have forsaken all else then you you 'long" for no one & nothing else,,,,,,,,,,,,,,this does not haven over night but with a re-newing of the mind

     We must be FILLED with the Word of God & begin an Intimate,personal & real Relationship with Him or how can He make us a new Creature in Him ?I have a wonderful ,loving,Spirit Filled,Jesus Loving man of God that I am married to,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I was COMPLETE in the Lord ,not needing or wanting anyone or anything & so was my husband,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,we both questioned the beginnings of our relationship together because we both thought it may interfere with our FIRST LOVE(Jesus),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,we come to find out that when God has someone for you it ADDS to your being COMPLETE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you cannot add a person & think they will complete you,you see?

     Dear one,cut the ties & move towards Jesus,let Him Fill you in ways that no person can,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ask the Lord to CHANGE the desires of your heart to have the Heart & Mind of Jesus & then just watch & see of all the wonderful Joy,Peace,Love He will add to your life

                                                                                        With love-in Christ

PS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,No,it is not okay,,,,,,,,,,,only because it is not good for you & will lead to heartache

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On 5/27/2016 at 10:21 AM, Warrior of Jesus said:

My ex-boyfriend is not a christian. Though we broke up, we are still friends. Now I feel uncomfortable talking to him. We promised each other that we will stay as friends till the last. So I don't want to break the promise. I am confused. Should I continue this friendship or not?

I do not think there is a problem in having this man as a casual friend. We as Christians are not supposed to be unevenly yolked and take advice from unbelievers.

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I personally do not think its a good idea- to maintain a "friends only " relationship with an ex romantic interest-- especially if they dont know the Lord--- to many temptations and emotional pitfalls to get into--- I know from experience-- it will only make you miserable and move you away from the Lord until he has to knock some sense into you and bring you back close to him

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Thank you so much for your wonderful replies. I have decided to end this friendship. thank you once again. :)

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