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How would u say would be the christian like way to deal with people u realise aren't good for u. By that I mean, I used to be the type who'd try to be friends with people and win them over despite obvious signs  that they don't like or appreciate me-eg remarks,insults, treatment, one sided relationships etc.

Now.I've matured and learned wherein if I realise someone doesn't share the same level of appreciation as I do.I write them off mentally.so while I'll be polite I won't have anything to do with them-most I'll say is hi bye,morning.evening, talk on relevant matters.not try to contact etc. Would u say that is the christianlike way of doing it?

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So you were a people pleaser? Some people are toxic. You should be kind to them but it is not required to have them for a friend and to associate with them. That is entirely your choice.

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as much as lieth within you live peaceably with all men. We should remain cordial enough to share the gospel- but you dont have to be a "best Buddy" with some one to share with them.  A person can try to hard to be friends with everyone--- if you have one or two true friends you are blessed-- many acquaintances but few friends

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I was more so like one of those big friendly dogs who jumps and licks you even though u don't want it around you. Prob stemming from low self worth and feelings of loneliness. I got better tho.

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A people pleaser has the need to please others and a fear of rejection. They usually can not say no and people find that they can be a door mat for their abusive behavior.

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Let the Lord shut the door and open another....there will always be users ...Jesus is a friend to all ...he loves all mankind and don't turn anyone away

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On 5/28/2016 at 4:40 PM, creativemechanic said:

How would u say would be the christian like way to deal with people u realise aren't good for u. By that I mean, I used to be the type who'd try to be friends with people and win them over despite obvious signs  that they don't like or appreciate me-eg remarks,insults, treatment, one sided relationships etc.

Now.I've matured and learned wherein if I realise someone doesn't share the same level of appreciation as I do.I write them off mentally.so while I'll be polite I won't have anything to do with them-most I'll say is hi bye,morning.evening, talk on relevant matters.not try to contact etc. Would u say that is the christianlike way of doing it?


some people have this weird, worldly idea of another Jesus that blindly accepts & embraces everyone no matter what they do or say or teach. this isn't the real Jesus. if you catch flak for realizing that there are people that as a believer you should have little to nothing at all to do with, for a variety or reasons, from temptation to heresy, ignore it. this is in fact scriptural and righteous. 

for example, the Bible says to 'flee youthful lust' -- if you are sexually tempted by someone, you should stay away from them altogether, until you can master your thoughts & heart over them. flee while the lust is young. 

the Bible also says of mockers and divisive people, and false teachers, to 'have nothing to do with them' -- beyond common courtesy, i think we should in a similar manner separate ourselves from them. 

i think what you describe is good. i also think that in both cases it's not a bad idea to relate to the person the reason why you don't want to associate with them - for their own good, because the feelings may be mutual, and for the glory of God, that they would know you are submitting to God with your actions. 

one thing i've made a practice of about people who fall into either category - who would tempt me to sin in my own lust or my own vanity, is that whenever i happen to see them or they cross my mind, to pray for them. it is downright impossible for me to keep sin in my heart, either lust of the flesh or pride of life, when i bare myself before God, confessing sin and bringing up these people's names before Him, asking Him to work His good in their lives. this radically changes my perspective of these people, and the Lord is faithful to purify me of sin when i do this, and perhaps He will also hear me and bless others too! i really think this is good advice, and everyone i know who is tempted sexually, i highly suggest it - and i've found it to be of great benefit when being tempted over argumentative people ((because replying to a mocker with your own mocking is also sin)).

there is also in the Bible instruction to separate yourself from brothers and sisters who are caught in sin and refuse to repent of it after you have exhausted attempts to correct them and intercede for them. i think this should be looked at a little differently, because they are God's own, even if their sin separates them from the body. the Bible talks about 'handing them over to Satan' so their body may be destroyed, but the soul saved. i think also that we should obey the advice of the apostles, and aside from courtesy and decorum, separate ourselves from them. and also that we should earnestly pray for them, that God may work in them to purify them and that they would submit themselves to God's own rebuke. 
but the difference here is that we should be all the more ready to embrace them, ready to forgive them and welcome them back into fellowship, seriously wishing and hoping for this - because they are our family, sons and daughters of our Father. like the father in the parable of the prodigal son, we should be in our hearts waiting, watching the road for them to return, with the faith that God is faithful to work in their lives and bring them back into the light. 

does that make sense? 

what a wonderful, practical subject you bring up! 
thank you ^_^

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I have wrote someone out of my life. I had to. This person caused great harm to my family. I can not have that. He was given opportunity to do better. A chance to become a better person. He choice not to do these things and instead did something that cause such harm to my family that the damage may never be undone. With God's mercy I hope it can be undone. With that said, I do not wish any harm upon this person. In face I still hope that they will somehow become aware of their sins. But I can not have any more to do with them after what they have done.

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Some of the people who have been the most embittered toward Christianity and have given me the hardest time gradually were softened and were saved.  Praise God, one was my husband.  Another was my daughter in law's mother, who was also into new age junk.  She was a mocker as well.  But some like may father in law probably remained embittered till his death.  We never know who God will bring to salvation.  Our job is to love them as they are, pray for them and witness to them by dropping seeds here and there and being a friend to them, expecting nothing in return.  "There but for the grace of God go I".  We grieve for those who reject Christ but must respect their choice.

But this is not being someone who is hoping for their approval or is doing so out of their own need for affection.  This is being done out of Godly compassionate love, hoping that they will come to repentance but not expecting any appreciation or regard from them.   

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On 5/28/2016 at 2:40 PM, creativemechanic said:

How would u say would be the christian like way to deal with people u realise aren't good for u.

You can simply walk away after you have done your best to reach out to them. That does not mean maintaining a bad attitude towards them.

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