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Looking for Godly friendship advice please


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Hi everyone thank you for looking at this.. I am very much struggling and I need some Godly and practical advice.

I have been such good friends with this girl, I will call 'sarah' for 3 years now, we have been through so much together and in the past we have both said that we've never had such a friendship as this that we can call each other sisters. I would say she is my best friend. We especially grew closer as her family took me in for about a year and a half. We are both christians and have shared our faith journeys together. I have no family of my own and I consider her family as my family, if that makes sense. We used to share all our problems and pray together and encourage each other all the time. We would hang out almost every day praying, studying the bible, chilling out and whatever. 

Then she got a boyfriend. Now I would first like to say I am not in anyway jealous of this fact, I can see they are perfect for each other and he makes her so happy! And yes he is a christian too. I am very secure in my singleness and I know my identity is in God not a husband /boyfriend. I would love to marry and have a family one day but I am only 21 so im not in a rush! This isn't where the problem lies. 

It's just I never see her anymore, she spends all her time with him. To the point where I ask if she wants to hang out and she has to 'slot me in for an hour' before rushing off to be with him. Like im an inconvenience. I know that it is important they have to spend time together but I just feel so lonely. She doesn't need me now, not like I need her. And now I am feeling bitterness which I know is ungodly. But I seem to have lost my best friend and my sister. And I know we are never truly alone because we have God. But I am really really struggling with this. What would you do if you were me? I am praying that I will be gracious in this but it still hurts. I am not good at being alone (stuff to do with my past) I just feel I've already lost my family I don't want to loose my best friend too. 

Thank you for reading this!

Edited by Grace.h
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Hi Grace.     I think your friend is really in love with her boyfriend and he seems like her her whole world right now.                  Its proble hard for her to think of others right now.That makes it hard for you.That's your best friend and sister in Christ.                                                            I say give her space and the time to be with him. Later she will more then not want to spend more time with you too.But the most important time we spend is with the Lord in prayer and his word. Let the Lord speak to your heart and the Holy Spirit give you the comfort that you need.                                                         The Lord cares about you.                                  Wayne                

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On 6/13/2016 at 4:45 PM, Grace.h said:

What would you do if you were me?

Well since you both have been such good friends, it can't hurt to have a heart-to-heart talk with her.  You can ask her if she values your friendship on a long term basis. If she says yes, then you can let her know that you would appreciate having her take the initiative AND MAKE TIME FOR YOU either a couple of times a week, or whatever you feel is suitable. Friendship works both ways.  Since you are willing to make time for her, she should be willing to reciprocate.  On the other hand, if she tells you that she has no time for you now, then you would just have to move on and find another friend.

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On 6/13/2016 at 3:45 PM, Grace.h said:

Hi everyone thank you for looking at this.. I am very much struggling and I need some Godly and practical advice.

I have been such good friends with this girl, I will call 'sarah' for 3 years now, we have been through so much together and in the past we have both said that we've never had such a friendship as this that we can call each other sisters. I would say she is my best friend. We especially grew closer as her family took me in for about a year and a half. We are both christians and have shared our faith journeys together. I have no family of my own and I consider her family as my family, if that makes sense. We used to share all our problems and pray together and encourage each other all the time. We would hang out almost every day praying, studying the bible, chilling out and whatever. 

Then she got a boyfriend. Now I would first like to say I am not in anyway jealous of this fact, I can see they are perfect for each other and he makes her so happy! And yes he is a christian too. I am very secure in my singleness and I know my identity is in God not a husband /boyfriend. I would love to marry and have a family one day but I am only 21 so im not in a rush! This isn't where the problem lies. 

It's just I never see her anymore, she spends all her time with him. To the point where I ask if she wants to hang out and she has to 'slot me in for an hour' before rushing off to be with him. Like im an inconvenience. I know that it is important they have to spend time together but I just feel so lonely. She doesn't need me now, not like I need her. And now I am feeling bitterness which I know is ungodly. But I seem to have lost my best friend and my sister. And I know we are never truly alone because we have God. But I am really really struggling with this. What would you do if you were me? I am praying that I will be gracious in this but it still hurts. I am not good at being alone (stuff to do with my past) I just feel I've already lost my family I don't want to loose my best friend too. 

Thank you for reading this!

I can see where you would be struggling with this. Perhaps this person was your only friend? You need to pray to God and tell Him exactly what is going on in your heart and how you feel. Can you find a Christian organization with people your age to get involved with? Something else to distract yourself of your lost of this friend? Is it difficult for you to make other friends?

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i agree with ezra on this 

 

111808-You-Are-In-My-Thoughts-And-Prayers.-May-God-Bless.gif

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Maybe It's time to let go and find other Christian friends. 

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