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The Addiction that is Costing Christians their Freedom? {Control}


GoldenEagle

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Thoughts on this article?

God bless,
GE
 

Quote

 

The Addiction that is Costing the Church it's Freedom


I realize now that most of the issues the church has created are based on its addiction to control. We have confused salvation with behaviour management, and we have traded the good news for good advice… our exclusive, only we are right, advice.

We want others to do less  _____________ (drinking, cursing, fornication, etc.) and more _____________ (praying, tithing, serving, etc).

But we have to ask ourselves honestly, do we want them to start doing those things for their benefit, or ours? 

We don’t do it just to individuals, as a movement, we have tried doing the same with society. We tell people how to follow the law, when to go to church, which TV shows to watch, which president to elect.

We want to control people with the truth, but God called us to love people truthfully (which means, we love them even when they do the opposite of what we ask or expect).

I know… it’s because we know better than them. #Pride

Or, we don’t want them to suffer as we did. #FalseHumility

Also, we want to protect them and teach them and help them. #Deception

And we expect the truth to be received because, it’s the truth! #Control

However, the truth is a gift, not a master.

Yes, the Church of Jesus has the message of truth. But if we use truth to control others, then that truth is not doing what Jesus said it should do, “Set you free!”

Thus, if the truth is not setting people free, then it is making them prisoners. Jailed inside whatever version of the truth we are selling.

"The truth is like a lion; you don’t have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself.” Saint Augustine

And that is why control is a snitch. Because when leaders/pastors/this author/couples/parents seek power, it indicates the need to overcome an inner feeling of powerlessness. Control tells the truth about how we actually feel.

Jesus proved that we can live a happy sonship without having to control others. He knew internally who he was and what he was called to do. He had no need to prove that by being controlling, exactly the opposite, he proved his might by being a servant.

He never controlled Peter’s stubbornness, or Thomas’ doubt, not even Judas’ betrayal. He could’ve. But the ways of love are superior to the ways of power.

"Powerful people do not try to control other people. They know it doesn’t work, and that it’s not their job. Their job is to control themselves." Danny Silk, Keep Your Love On

I’m realizing that most of the issues in my life have been created because of my addiction to control.

I want to control how my wife expresses her emotions. I want to control how my kids respond to my correction. I want to control how my pastor pastors me.

The truth is, I don’t need control. I want control. #Addicted

And if you have ever been abused, neglected, abandoned or experienced any traumatic event that made you feel like your life was out of control (with no protection), then you might have become a control addict yourself.

Controlling people (and controlling churches) create stressful environments for those around them. They control because they fear being harmed again. And while trying to have dominance over a person or a situation they prove how insignificant they feel.

The good news is that the One who is (actually and fully) in control, wants to heal us. His love wants to override the fear.

And we can start with a simple step today: let’s hand over control to the Holy Spirit.

He’s the expert on conviction, counsel and comfort anyway. And He wants to teach both the Church as a whole, and us as individuals, that it is possible to live a life where we are not enforcing our standards on others, while at the same time, being happy with our convictions.

Remember, you just have to stay true to what God has called you to give up, what He asked you to surrender, what He invited you to stay away from.

Because controlling others is not a fruit of the spirit, Self-Control is.

Peace. 

 

 

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Thank you for this wise and Spirit filled post.    We can't change anyone, nor are we called to do so.  Nor are called to get angry when others do not do what we want.  True there are times to confront, but with love and not out of repressed rage.  To truly loved as Jesus calls us to takes a level of self knowledge.  Using Scripture to control others usually backfires, for what is needed is to show others the love of Christ Jesus, to be gentle and respectful.  Then, when they understand that what we say to them can be taken in because of the Spirit is is given.  I believe the 'will to power' is our greatest temptation. 

Peace
Mark

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Darn, if you can't convince them, confuse them?

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Jon, good to see you my brother!

Question:  Did Jesus control others?

My answer:  Yes.  Jesus spoke by the very Spirit of God.  God said and it was.  Jesus said and it was.  What Jesus did was control his tongue with absolute percision.  He was here on a specific mission which he fulfilled.

Consider how he 'handled' people (read controlled) with his words.  

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone at her....they all dropped their stones one by one.  Speaking by the Holy Spirit he convinced them that if they killed her they too deserved to die.  

Truth sets people free.  I have been learning how to weild the sword of the Spirit as did the master to lead people the truth about themselves and the sin that lives within them.  I taught my wife that the bible declares that all women will desire to rule over their husbands then solidified that truth in her by helping her see when it manifests in her.  She understands.

The article is speaking truth about sin that lives inside us and desires to manifest through us by dominating our fellows but as is the danger of doing so the author exposes their own heart to control others.

The sword of the Spirit is two edged.  It will also cut me when I use it to judge another therefore we are judged when we judge others.  Jesus did not teach that we were not to be controlling for his servant Paul denanded it of Bishops amd Deacons alike as pertaining to their families as well as congregations.

It is not a matter of whether or not to rule for the scriptures command and never remove the command of go out into all the world and subdue it.  No, the matter is with how to rule which is by loving God with all your heart, mind, soul and body while loving your neighbor as yourself. 

What did James say about controlling others?  He said we could if we did not offend in word or deed.  

From day six of creation moving forward we have been ordered by God to subdue all things.  God is in the process of subduing all things unto himself.  Bringing all things under the feet of his Christ whose body we are.

What is my basic trouble?  Me.  I am a horrible student of Christ.  I am a terribly clumbsy soldier who cuts off the ears of those who might hear had I spoke by wisdom rather than  vanity.

Thanks for the thoughts Jon, you are a wonderful friend in Christ.

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I think you have to have a certain amount of control in certain conditions to have order. Like Paul said to the church if anyone speaks a unknow language let it be one by one not all at once. Its true if someone does want to do as they will nothing will control that. Its a fine line between control and leading. Paul said to submit to one another. But that does not mean if a person tells you to do something wrong. We are to obey Christ not men. But then it says submit to each other. You submit to others if what they want is under Christ. And not in all things . Then it becomes a cult.

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I realize now that most of the issues the church has created are based on its addiction to control.

Here’s another example of (a) misusing the term “addiction” and (b) misusing the term “church”.  So this broad generalization is inaccurate and unfair. The Lord Jesus Christ commanded the Church (those who are genuine Christians) to “make disciples” and disciples are to be under the discipline of Christ, not free to do as they choose.

We have confused salvation with behaviour management, and we have traded the good news for good advice… our exclusive, only we are right, advice.

This sounds more like a rant than a statement of fact. Those who preach the true Gospel do not simply give “good advice” but offer the Bread of Life. Those who do not preach the true Gospel may be the ones who can only give advice.

We want others to do less  _____________ (drinking, cursing, fornication, etc.) and more _____________ (praying, tithing, serving, etc).

Well salvation is not a license to keep on sinning or doing the things of the world.  And praying, tithing (giving), and serving are all proof that a person is truly saved. So it is not what “we want” but what the Lord commands.

I’m realizing that most of the issues in my life have been created because of my addiction to control.

Perhaps this is the reason for this article. But projecting “addiction” on others, and particularly the Church, benefits no one. No doubt there are controlling individuals among Christians. But that is not what this article is telling us.

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I think so many times today people feel they have to "defend" the truth, Gospel, Bible, or Jesus. I agree with the article it's often misplaced pride, fear, and desire for control. We can't control what others think, say, or do. That is essentially us wanting to take on the role of the Holy Spirit in other people's lives... Which is very dangerous indeed.

It's about understanding where our boundaries start and end. If our lives would be compared to a house, we can only affect those things within our fences. When we try to go digging and molding other's houses is when complications, frustrations, and misunderstanding occur. 

Yet where does accountability come into the picture?

I liked the quote from the article: 
“The truth is like a lion; you don’t have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself.” Saint Augustine

These are some initial thoughts on the article.

God bless,
GE

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12 hours ago, markdohle said:

Thank you for this wise and Spirit filled post.    We can't change anyone, nor are we called to do so.  Nor are called to get angry when others do not do what we want.  True there are times to confront, but with love and not out of repressed rage.  To truly love as Jesus calls us to takes a level of self knowledge.  Using Scripture to control others usually backfires, for what is needed is to show others the love of Christ Jesus, to be gentle and respectful.  Then, when they understand that what we say to them can be taken in because of the Spirit is is given.  I believe the 'will to power' is our greatest temptation. 

Peace
Mark

Hiya Mark! :)

I pretty much agree with your sentiments. :thumbsup: 

So often we try to change people instead of simply loving them where they are at. I wonder why we have the desire to control others so? 

Your comments in red reminds me of John 13:34-35

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

God bless,
GE
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7 hours ago, PatrolMan said:

Darn, if you can't convince them, confuse them?

Lol surely this is a joke right? :) 

God bless,
GE

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7 hours ago, Yowm said:

I steer away from a cult mentality as much as possible. Cultists tend to be control freaks.

Hiya Yowm! :) Why did the article remind you of the cult mentality? Do you mean trying to control others behaviors?  

6 hours ago, Yowm said:

Also true leaders lead...by example.

Please speak a bit what you mean by true leaders lead by example. What does that look like in your mind? 

God bless,
GE

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