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marriage advice and obtaining patience with others


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Good Morning Worthy Family, well I am reaching out because I have been trying to grow in my marriage and I am now at my wits end.  I had begun counseling a few years ago through my church but the deacon and his wife explained that because my husband was undergoing therapy for mental  issues they did not want to interfere with that process and because of his inabilities to run a household my home would never be in balance with the lord.  I'm okay with that and excepted it.  As we continued to go through the every day issues of life we also had a year of separation which after ward when he returned home we functioned as a family but slept in two separate rooms.  we moved into our new home, he was in the basement and I was upstairs with our son.  so now we have done some work around the house and he has began to sleep in the bedroom with me and I am not use to it.  it feels like he is invading my space.  I am not use to his ways and all the little things are bothering me. when w go to the grocery store we buy everyone their favorite snacks. he its all his and my sons then mine without asking if I mind.  I share a lot but is it to much to ask for common courteously to have someone one ask me for something that belongs to me.  I am obsessed with making my bed when I get up.  he lays across my bed an never fixes it.  as soon as I comment then he gets an attitude.  when I go to bed I like it quiet, he comes in the room and makes so much noise and unfortunately he has a bad habit of bumping his head, it shakes the bed and wakes me up.  I just need advice on how to work on me to adjust and get past my feelings.  it should not be about my feeling but putting my home in order.  any advice would be appreciated. thank you

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It is indeed a challenge to have a spouse with "mental issues". I do not know if these issues are serious and if he has a mental illness. I can understand the Deacon and his wife not wanting to interfere with your husband's therapy. I do not agree that because of your husband's illness "you household would never be in balance with the Lord". God loves your husband and God wants you to be a loving support for your husband. God is with you during all of these storms in your life. I do not understand your struggle with sleeping with your husband. You are man and wife. You decided to come back together after a year separation. Why does it seem like your husband is invading "your space"? It is his space too. Do you think you have become somewhat set in your ways? You sound like you are self centered. Can you see that? Compassion,grace and mercy and kindness come in here.  Sometimes you have to choose your battles. I think you and your husband need a lot of prayer for God to come into your marriage and into your lives.

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