Guest bonnieschamberger Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Ok this isnt a huge problem so much as it is an odd situation.I have been divorced for over 5 years now .I dont date I have never liked dating.I went on one date before I met my husband.I remember praying and crying after that one date and I told God "God I dont want to date ..when its time just send the man who is to be my husband " 3 weeks later I met him.Anyway Ive never felt like I had to have someone thats why I always hated dating and still do but heres where its weird..I keep having people at church and other places ..people I dont know who tell me God is getting me ready to be married again.My stomach churns..I come home and my family bugs me and wants me to get on online dating sites.I dont know if its just what I went through with my ex or not but I could use some stories of yours...wisdom..anything from you to help me sort through my own thoughts and the knots in my stomach.Thank you and God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seraph Posted August 17, 2016 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 21 Topic Count: 129 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,801 Content Per Day: 0.23 Reputation: 483 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/06/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted August 17, 2016 I don't think it's such an odd situation and I totally understand. Online Christian dating sites aren't something I would personally do - nothing wrong with them, I just wasn't going to go that route as it wasn't for me. I also wasn't going to 'start dating.' I just trusted God to bring the right person at the right time. If I wasn't going to do the online dating thing, then God would bring me someone another way... couples meet countless ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Robert Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 18 hours ago, bonnieschamberger said: Ok this isnt a huge problem so much as it is an odd situation.I have been divorced for over 5 years now .I dont date I have never liked dating.I went on one date before I met my husband.I remember praying and crying after that one date and I told God "God I dont want to date ..when its time just send the man who is to be my husband " 3 weeks later I met him.Anyway Ive never felt like I had to have someone thats why I always hated dating and still do but heres where its weird..I keep having people at church and other places ..people I dont know who tell me God is getting me ready to be married again.My stomach churns..I come home and my family bugs me and wants me to get on online dating sites.I dont know if its just what I went through with my ex or not but I could use some stories of yours...wisdom..anything from you to help me sort through my own thoughts and the knots in my stomach.Thank you and God bless you. People can mean well, but end up trying to push their own desires and cause all sorts of grief. The same goes for your family: they mean well, but they're not respecting your feelings on this, nor do I believe anyone that is pushing you is actually consulting the Lord on it.Why would He tell them and not you if that were really the case? One thing you can do is to politely ask them to get off your back, as they are making you uncomfortable and crossing a boundary that they should not. Be polite, gentle, but firm and explain that they are making you uncomfortable and pushing you. If they continue at church and won't stop, talk with your pastor. If they still won't leave you alone, excuse yourself politely (family included) and end the conversation. Go for a walk if need be. I had to do this with a different situation concerning friends of mine who were pushing, but it had to be done. They will get the point soon enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted August 17, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,990 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.83 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted August 17, 2016 18 hours ago, bonnieschamberger said: Ok this isnt a huge problem so much as it is an odd situation.I have been divorced for over 5 years now .I dont date I have never liked dating.I went on one date before I met my husband.I remember praying and crying after that one date and I told God "God I dont want to date ..when its time just send the man who is to be my husband " 3 weeks later I met him.Anyway Ive never felt like I had to have someone thats why I always hated dating and still do but heres where its weird..I keep having people at church and other places ..people I dont know who tell me God is getting me ready to be married again.My stomach churns..I come home and my family bugs me and wants me to get on online dating sites.I dont know if its just what I went through with my ex or not but I could use some stories of yours...wisdom..anything from you to help me sort through my own thoughts and the knots in my stomach.Thank you and God bless you. The dating game can be awkward. It is nice to feel like you do not need a man in your life to make your life complete. That is not healthy. I would ignore people's advise about a man in your life. You only need to pray to God and seek His advise. Just sit back and see if God opens the door for you for a future husband. God knows your future and he knows the whole picture humans don't. You might have a problem trusting again and you may have some walls up to protect yourself. Just give all of this to God. Definitely do not rush into a relationship. God be with you in what He wants you to have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bonnieschamberger Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 All of your words certainly help me to feel better about what I was already feeling/thinking ....definately felt God speaking though all of you...especially the walls thing..there are so many connect groups at my church as my church is huge and every semester they add more.I go to their website and stare and go over them again and again..so much overthinking and anxiety.I think to myself "why on earth cant I just jump in with both feet?" I have to start somewhere and maybe now I will finally start with at least one connect group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted August 18, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,990 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.83 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted August 18, 2016 1 hour ago, bonnieschamberger said: All of your words certainly help me to feel better about what I was already feeling/thinking ....definately felt God speaking though all of you...especially the walls thing..there are so many connect groups at my church as my church is huge and every semester they add more.I go to their website and stare and go over them again and again..so much overthinking and anxiety.I think to myself "why on earth cant I just jump in with both feet?" I have to start somewhere and maybe now I will finally start with at least one connect group. The last Church I went to was huge. I just could not connect. I loved the Pastor's sermons and I learned a lot from him but I was just lost in that Church. I became active in several different ways but the congregation was so cliquish I was not happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RustyAngeL Posted August 18, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 23 Topic Count: 155 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,464 Content Per Day: 1.02 Reputation: 8,810 Days Won: 57 Joined: 03/30/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/12/1952 Share Posted August 18, 2016 8 hours ago, seraph said: I don't think it's such an odd situation and I totally understand. Online Christian dating sites aren't something I would personally do - nothing wrong with them, I just wasn't going to go that route as it wasn't for me. I also wasn't going to 'start dating.' I just trusted God to bring the right person at the right time. If I wasn't going to do the online dating thing, then God would bring me someone another way... couples meet countless ways. That's it seraph, Trusting God to bring that person into your life. I didn't date much either before I met my husband. Once I met Steve I know he was the one. We were married just three months after we met and were married 25 years. He has been gone now for 8 years and I have not dated. I"m not anxious or worried. It's all up to Him. Blessings, RustyAngeL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Robert Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 5 hours ago, bonnieschamberger said: All of your words certainly help me to feel better about what I was already feeling/thinking ....definately felt God speaking though all of you...especially the walls thing..there are so many connect groups at my church as my church is huge and every semester they add more.I go to their website and stare and go over them again and again..so much overthinking and anxiety.I think to myself "why on earth cant I just jump in with both feet?" I have to start somewhere and maybe now I will finally start with at least one connect group. Glad to help any way we can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezra Posted August 18, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 134 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 8,142 Content Per Day: 2.36 Reputation: 6,612 Days Won: 20 Joined: 11/02/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted August 18, 2016 On 8/16/2016 at 10:02 PM, bonnieschamberger said: I dont date I have never liked dating Hi Bonnie, and Welcome. To be totally rational how would two people get to know each other unless they date? However, if the idea of dating causes you distress, you should ask yourself what the underlying reason could be. At the same time, nobody else really has any business telling you what you should do or not do, and you can let them know politely. According to Scripture, marriage is the norm and God blesses marriage. Paul instructs the younger widows to re-marry and have children. Even though Paul in another Scripture encourages some to maintain the single state, it is not for everyone, as the Lord Himself revealed. Celibacy is not any more spiritual than married life. In fact it is more selfish (and as we know it does not really work for those who *vow* celibacy). Marriage means family, and family means sacrifice for others. It also means spiritual growth since we become responsible for the spiritual welfare of others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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