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I was friend with this girl and we have became really close friends over the last year. We have supported each and helped each other through many tough times last 2 semesters of college. She is a really special friend to me; genuinely happy when I do well, always helping when I need it, and show a lot of care. But I screwed everything up. Last semester before summer started I admitted to her I liked her and asked her out. She didn't like me the same way. Things have been rough since then. Before summer started she told me lets take a break from each other and not talk till next semester, so i can move on and she won't feel she's leading me on. I agreed upon that. But I've messaged her a few times over the summer and she rarely replied. I also asked for help and she was reluctant to help. Now I feel I completely messed up our friendship for messaging her over the summer. The semester starts next week and I am not really sure what to do or how to even talk to her again. It just really hurts to feel I screwed everything up and I keep blaming myself. I am not really sure what to do anymore. It would really suck if I completely lost her as a friend. I want to ask for some advice for what to do about this. Thank you

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I've been there. Several times.

Might I ask a bit about you first? Do you consider yourself a Christian, a believer and follower of Jesus Christ?

I admire her if she was serious about wanting some distance for your sake. She sounds like a good friend if she's willing to do that so she's not taking advantage of your feelings. She might be just as troubled about this as you are.

First, I would suggest you examine yourself. Would you be able to continue being friends with her as normal? You wouldn't be expecting something else? If so, then there's not really much else to do but just try to talk to her. It's too easy to ignore people digitally. Try to meet face-to-face. Admit that you wish to remain friends and understand if she can never see you as something more, and that you'll be alright with that.

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On 8/22/2016 at 7:22 PM, Iceqube said:

It would really suck if I completely lost her as a friend. I want to ask for some advice for what to do about this.

Hi Iceqube, and Welcome.

Although you have not posted the minimum 5 posts, I will respond because you are distressed.

Since it is evident that you are a young man and she is a young woman, it should have been clear to both of you that the end result was not "friendship" per se but courtship. There is no such things as friendship between the opposite sexes.

Now that you have realized that she is not interested in you in the same way as you are in her, please move on. The worst thing you can do is dwell on how you "messed up" (because you did not).  I would have done the same thing.

Take the attitude that this is her loss, and seek out another young woman with whom to develop a proper man-woman relationship, which could become serious.

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On 8/22/2016 at 6:22 PM, Iceqube said:

I was friend with this girl and we have became really close friends over the last year. We have supported each and helped each other through many tough times last 2 semesters of college. She is a really special friend to me; genuinely happy when I do well, always helping when I need it, and show a lot of care. But I screwed everything up. Last semester before summer started I admitted to her I liked her and asked her out. She didn't like me the same way. Things have been rough since then. Before summer started she told me lets take a break from each other and not talk till next semester, so i can move on and she won't feel she's leading me on. I agreed upon that. But I've messaged her a few times over the summer and she rarely replied. I also asked for help and she was reluctant to help. Now I feel I completely messed up our friendship for messaging her over the summer. The semester starts next week and I am not really sure what to do or how to even talk to her again. It just really hurts to feel I screwed everything up and I keep blaming myself. I am not really sure what to do anymore. It would really suck if I completely lost her as a friend. I want to ask for some advice for what to do about this. Thank you

Well, a guy is always vulnerable when he tells a lady how he feels about her. There are other women out there. Maybe God closed the doors on this relationship. I suggest that you play it cool with her. You might really make her uncomfortable by being too aggressive in your friendship. Let her come to you. Are the two of you Christians?

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