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Can't talk to mother about God


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I am a 21 year old University student and in a dilemma. 

My parents met in church. It's a fact I've always liked. My mom has always been very open with me about everything ever since I can remember. when I was 2.5 she went abroad to work in a different country so that we could earn more money becasue the eastern european country i was living in really did not have good living conditions. I stayed there with my relatives, grandparents and aunt. My dad is a storng believer and although he also lived there he never really took care of me so I don't know what it's like to have a real father daughter bond. 

My mom didn't completely vanish, she was doing it all for me and came back every 3 or 6 months to see me. However, family friends about my mom's age have told me that when I was about 4, I used to go up to them and say things like: "you're my mother" and I remember getting attached to them very easily, which is weird by itself. when I was about 6 my mom took me with her, she got a divorce form my dad who never worked and never helped around the house or anything, and I've been living with her ever since. until I went to University two years ago, but still spend quite a bit of time living with her and her now boyfriend over the holidays.  

My mom used to tell me about God ever since I can remember. And although I have always firmly believed in Him and known about him I somehow did not want my mom to be the one telling me things about God. I know it sounds awful, but even when I was very little i can remember her wanting to stop talking about it, I did pray and believe in God but it felt like something so private to me, and something blocked me from talking to my mom about God. When I went to highschool I had an incredible teacher, who i was really interested in for some reason, only to find out later that she too was a believer. We got on really well and she would talk to me about God and i loved it. My teacher's parents and 6 siblings are all strong believers and they are such a wonderful family, and i kin of wish i had a family like that too. I loved talking to my teacher about God and was so happy she was a Christian too. She was the one who started calling me BatZion too, and I can tell she really cares about me. She does not have any children of her own and sometimes she can get quite protective of me. After graduation she started taking me to different churches around town, also with her family and it was so nice. My mom, although a believer, somehow doesn't go to church, so i've never been in a very church going family. 

I went to university abroad, and really enjoyed my independence. I'm a girl who has always been very independent because i don't have any siblings and it's always been just my mom and me. I like dancing when i go out with friends but I don't get drunk at all. I get really good grades and speak 5 languages, so i'm very studious. When i went to university it was so easy to go to church, becuase i could do whatever I wanted, my mom was not there and did not know every little thing I did, and i kind of enjoyed it, even though i do like spending time with her when i'm around her.

Whenever I'm home however, going to church is quite a struggle. I don't really have any church going friends my age at home. And there is my teacher who i sometimes go to church with, but whenever I know that my mom knows I am going to church, I feel so blocked, it's like I really can't deal with her even knowing i go to church. I just somehow want it to be a thing I do and talk about with other people. Today it was so bad, i was getting ready to go to church and really wanted to, but my mom was home and she asked where I was going and whether I was going to church, so i somehow ended up not going, because i just wanted to go without her knowing. 

 

I know this sounds so weird, and there surely must be something wrong in this? It's so nice to see whole families going to church together, why can't I be open about it with my mom and why do i find it so strange to go to church with her?

 

have any of you had similar experiences or are any of you parents whose kids act similarly and how do you deal with it? 

 

Sorry for the really long post but would be great to hear from some of you! Thank you!

Edited by BatZion7
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Maybe you can't talk with her about God but you can pray and let the Holy Spirit do what He does best... speak to hearts.  Let her see your fruits and your Godly conduct.  That will speak volumes.

Blessings, RustyAngeL

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Do you think you feel resentment in your heart towards your mother for not being there for you when you were young?

I would say not to let anything like that stop you from going to church, or being bold about the fact you are a Christian. Remember that, if you're truly a believer, then you have a family; a huge family, in fact, with a perfect and loving Father who will never abandon you.

John 1:12 (NLT) -- But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.

So those families you see going to church are your brothers and sisters if you and they are truly believers and followers of God!

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That is no mistake that God led you to your Christian teacher. That is a blessing. It does not sound like your mother is a true believer in Jesus Christ. Your mother needs a lot of prayer. God loves you. Continue to seek God and walk in His ways. The Holy Spirit will guide and direct your journey you are taking on this earth. God bless :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

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You should take your Mom to church. Tell her about Jesus death on the cross so we can be forgiven for our sins. Also pray everyday that God will save her. Don't give up. 

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Perhaps you feel uncomfortable about your mom knowing your going to church because she met your Father at church and you are unconsciously trying to save her any further hurt or unwanted memories of her past. IDK but I think you should get over that hurdle by just telling her that you are going to church and that she is more than welcome to join you if she wants to... :)

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