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What do you think about Boundaries?


GoldenEagle

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On ‎9‎/‎23‎/‎2016 at 10:54 AM, kwikphilly said:

Blessings GE,dear Brother

I would like to share with you that I used to really struggle with letting go or knowing when to walk away,I too want nothing more than to help & especially to shine Gods Light that others see the Love & Grace of God,just like you do    I don't really have anything to tell you to help you work on that because I don't truly know how Holy Spirit made that change in me,I do know that I persisted in prayer ,asking for His Discernment and to SHOW ME,TELL ME,LEAD ME    The more I seemed to "think less" about it with my unreliable heart & mind is probably about the time I learned to listen more & see more with the eyes of my heart & my spirit f or Understanding,if that makes any sense to you?

   These days I don't have nearly as much difficulty in "kicking the dust from my feet",just as Holy Spirit prompts us toward the opportunities or Ministry Moments ,He also Leads us AWAY & makes it known to us that our ASSIGNMENT is over or "not there"........

I believe there are far too many that we can be made useful for that to squander those Pearls we are given before swine & that does not mean that those folks are not worth preaching to,helping or Saving.....we just might not be the ones to do it through,,,,we might just be the "planters" but not the waterers.....or visa versa....we must pray to do Gods Will for us,what He would have us to do,we can too- often get in His Way...which is also a BOUNDARY   

   Remember Chico & the Man?...."It's not my yob!"                       

                                                          With love-in Christ,Kwik

I'm trying to work through this all too Kwik. Thanks for your heart and patience. I think it's important to realize that God does lead us away from some things. That it's okay to say no.

Praying for God to be glorified! :) 

We must be free to say no before we can wholeheartedly say yes.

Sometimes I think “acts of love” are worthless if we don’t feel we have a choice.

God bless,
GE

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Heya GE

     It is funny what the Good News Translation says...

Quote
8 Be under obligation to no one - the only obligation you have is to love one another. Whoever does this has obeyed the Law. 
9 The commandments, "Do not commit adultery; do not commit murder; do not steal; do not desire what belongs to someone else" - all these, and any others besides, are summed up in the one command, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." 
10 If you love others, you will never do them wrong; to love, then, is to obey the whole Law.

I think an "act of love" is not at all an act of love iof one feels obligated & without choice.............good stuff!        With love-in Christ,Kwik:emot-heartbeat:

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23 minutes ago, kwikphilly said:

Heya GE

     It is funny what the Good News Translation says...

I think an "act of love" is not at all an act of love iof one feels obligated & without choice.............good stuff!        With love-in Christ,Kwik:emot-heartbeat:

I so agree with this one hundred percent, if we love sincerely we will not hurt others.

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On ‎9‎/‎17‎/‎2016 at 9:07 PM, brakelite said:

About a years ago my wife and I 'rescued' a young family from poor housing and took them to our home until such time they found better accommodation. During their time with us, we wouldn't allow any drinking and they had to smoke outside. They respected this and I spet much time telling them of Jesus. They learned from living in our hoe, what our boundaries were by experience. As time went on, they came to honor them without any further instruction, for example, swearing or cursing is never heard in our home, and they discovered that boundary without being told.

They eventually found their own home, and moved out. Then a month or so ago due to redundancy we lost our own home. They kindly then were in a position to return the favor. The boundaries they learned in our home, without Jesus, became non-existent in their own home. I would continue to share for as long as they could understand what I was speakng of without going off track because of their drinking, but I would eave it there. Thier drinking howeer grew steadily worse, and recently became violent to the point threatening with a knife and a little blood letting and subsequently of police involvement. None of this involved us personally, but it was time to leave. We stayed to do what we could, through prayer and our personal witness, but we are told that there comes a time when the pearls are trampled, and we are to move on. Like it has been said before, our own sanctification sets the personal boundaries within ourselves, and we are all different. Some Christians drink and smoke, we don't. Some use slang, we don't. However it is not up to us to impose our standards on others, we are all on the same bus heading against the flow of general traffic and its impossible to impose laws/restrictions/ethics on people going in the opposite direction. We have all relinquished our lives to the Bus Driver, and we trust Him to negotiate the traffic and get us home on time and in good shape. We call on others to join with us on the bus, not enticing them on account of our own merits or "goodness", but on the merits of the Bus Driver. He sets the boundaries for each one of us depending on our state of growth and our willingness to surrender. Some may opt out and get off the bus. Others may, through their behavior, endanger other passengers and be thrown out. Still others may remain on the bus for the entire journey, but in the end be found without the wedding garment, and be asked to return. Life is hard enough to negotiate it for ourselves, without attempting to be some elses GPS.

Here is what the Apostle Paul says about imposing our standards on others.  From 2 Thessalonians 3:6-9

Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.  For yourselves know HOW YE OUGHT TO FOLLOW US:  for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you; Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you:  Not because we have not power, BUT TO MAKE OURSELVES AN ENSAMPLE UNTO YOU TO FOLLOW US. 

It sounds like Paul is acting like a type of GPS for us, or he is being that bus driver.  We follow him and we will get safely to our destination.  The way I see it, God wants us all to follow Christ directly, but people don't understand what that means.  It doesn't mean to go by personal feelings, but it means to do what Jesus says, after all, he is supposed to be our Lord.  How do we know what he is telling us?  His instructions are the Holy Bible.  People don't do that.  They think following God is just going by personal feelings and convictions, and that doesn't work if they feel something is ok that the Bible says is wrong.  The Holy Spirit will never lead you to go contrary to the Bible, ever. 

As such, I have come to this conclusion.  We need more Popes.  I say that somewhat in sarcasm, because I keep reading how ministers instructing people in the right way are Popes, and if that is what the word has been reduced to mean, then we definitely need more of them.  We need hard nosed, Bible believing, hell, fire and brimstone holiness preachers to lead us in the right direction.   There will be a lot of people following their own conscience that will find they have no wedding garment on when they meet the Lord.  The law is given for the lawless, and the reason hard nosed preachers are needed is for those who won't live right any other way.  They need someone who keeps stepping on their toes week in and week out, warning them that if they continue to live in sin, they risk eternal damnation.  The people that don't need it are not the ones always attacking "legalism."  Those people want to follow God.  The ones that need a Pope, hell, fire and brimstone preacher, or whatever other name you want to give them, are the liberal church members who preach a phony love message and attack those who preach standards for living. 

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5 hours ago, Butero said:

Here is what the Apostle Paul says about imposing our standards on others.  From 2 Thessalonians 3:6-9

Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.  For yourselves know HOW YE OUGHT TO FOLLOW US:  for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you; Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you:  Not because we have not power, BUT TO MAKE OURSELVES AN ENSAMPLE UNTO YOU TO FOLLOW US. 

It sounds like Paul is acting like a type of GPS for us, or he is being that bus driver.  We follow him and we will get safely to our destination.  The way I see it, God wants us all to follow Christ directly, but people don't understand what that means.  It doesn't mean to go by personal feelings, but it means to do what Jesus says, after all, he is supposed to be our Lord.  How do we know what he is telling us?  His instructions are the Holy Bible.  People don't do that.  They think following God is just going by personal feelings and convictions, and that doesn't work if they feel something is ok that the Bible says is wrong.  The Holy Spirit will never lead you to go contrary to the Bible, ever. 

As such, I have come to this conclusion.  We need more Popes.  I say that somewhat in sarcasm, because I keep reading how ministers instructing people in the right way are Popes, and if that is what the word has been reduced to mean, then we definitely need more of them.  We need hard nosed, Bible believing, hell, fire and brimstone holiness preachers to lead us in the right direction.   There will be a lot of people following their own conscience that will find they have no wedding garment on when they meet the Lord.  The law is given for the lawless, and the reason hard nosed preachers are needed is for those who won't live right any other way.  They need someone who keeps stepping on their toes week in and week out, warning them that if they continue to live in sin, they risk eternal damnation.  The people that don't need it are not the ones always attacking "legalism."  Those people want to follow God.  The ones that need a Pope, hell, fire and brimstone preacher, or whatever other name you want to give them, are the liberal church members who preach a phony love message and attack those who preach standards for living. 

I agree with this. Probably my favorite preacher outside my own denomination is Paul Washer. People need a straight message today for there is no time now for sleeping in church. It is time now too trim the lamps and ensure we have God's Spirit abiding in us, and the ONLY evidence fr the presence of the Spirit of God is a life lived in harmony with God's, not man's, standards. And yes, the scriptures are the only basis for faith and practice.

But a pope? No thanks. I can listen all day to a preacher who will encourage and direct us to the Bible and to live in accordance to holiness and the righteousness of Christ. I can not abide one who instructs or teaches according to the commandments and doctrines of man. The former is directing man to live in surrender to the chastisement of a loving Father. The latter directing us to live under the slavish control of man's philosophy and vain deceit. After the rudiments of man, and not God.

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23 hours ago, Butero said:

Here is what the Apostle Paul says about imposing our standards on others.  From 2 Thessalonians 3:6-9

Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.  For yourselves know HOW YE OUGHT TO FOLLOW US:  for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you; Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you:  Not because we have not power, BUT TO MAKE OURSELVES AN ENSAMPLE UNTO YOU TO FOLLOW US. 

It sounds like Paul is acting like a type of GPS for us, or he is being that bus driver.  We follow him and we will get safely to our destination.  The way I see it, God wants us all to follow Christ directly, but people don't understand what that means.  It doesn't mean to go by personal feelings, but it means to do what Jesus says, after all, he is supposed to be our Lord.  How do we know what he is telling us?  His instructions are the Holy Bible.  People don't do that.  They think following God is just going by personal feelings and convictions, and that doesn't work if they feel something is ok that the Bible says is wrong.  The Holy Spirit will never lead you to go contrary to the Bible, ever. 

As such, I have come to this conclusion.  We need more Popes.  I say that somewhat in sarcasm, because I keep reading how ministers instructing people in the right way are Popes, and if that is what the word has been reduced to mean, then we definitely need more of them.  We need hard nosed, Bible believing, hell, fire and brimstone holiness preachers to lead us in the right direction.   There will be a lot of people following their own conscience that will find they have no wedding garment on when they meet the Lord.  The law is given for the lawless, and the reason hard nosed preachers are needed is for those who won't live right any other way.  They need someone who keeps stepping on their toes week in and week out, warning them that if they continue to live in sin, they risk eternal damnation.  The people that don't need it are not the ones always attacking "legalism."  Those people want to follow God.  The ones that need a Pope, hell, fire and brimstone preacher, or whatever other name you want to give them, are the liberal church members who preach a phony love message and attack those who preach standards for living. 

Hiya Butero :)

I have no idea where this is coming from. Where did you get imposing standards from the last few posts or what does it have to do with healthy boundaries? A reminder this is not the thread about control. There's another thread for that. 

I do agree that the Holy Spirit will never lead you to go contrary to the Bible. :thumbsup: 

I don't think hard nosed, hell, fire and brimstone holiness preachers will be listened to anymore. Not even sure if that's truly a Bible believing person per say? Jesus said that people would know us for our love for one another. Not our standards. 

And how did we get off way left field again on "legalism"? Is this just something that comes up regularly on your posts? 

God bless,
GE

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Law #6 The Law of Evaluation

We need to evaluate the effects of setting boundaries and be responsible to not for the other person. Deciding how to set boundaries is difficult because it requires decision making and confrontation, which may cause pain to someone you love. But, just because someone responds to your boundaries with hurt or anger does not mean you should avoid setting healthy boundaries.

 

1. What current circumstances call for you to set boundaries?

2. So you hesitate to do something out of fear of hurting someone?

3. If you set boundaries, what pain or disappointment might you cause someone you love?

4. Whom would you like to be able to confront about their wrong actions?

5. In a time of prayer, ask God to purify your heart and give you the words to say in love. Jot down the ideas here.

6. How do you tend to respond when someone confronts you with the truth about your wrong behavior?

7. How would you like to respond next time?

 

Passages relating to this law of evaluation:

Proverbs 15:10
There is severe discipline for him who forsakes the way;
    whoever hates reproof will die.

Proverbs 23:13 
Do not withhold discipline from a child;
    if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.

Romans 12:19 
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[a] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

Matthew 7:13–14 
13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy[a] that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

Hebrews 12:11
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.


God bless,
GE

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I believe it very important to learn about proper nutrition abd set some bountaries and to learn the benefits of being active. This is not a ticket to perfect health, but we can reap the benefits on the present and the time to come. Another area we should pay a lot of attention is not to afflict others, and also our selfs, and if we accept that it is ok for our selfs to alliviate the fear of going to Hell by keeping our garments white for the day of the Lord, and thus departing from the work of Jesus Christ, whom we call a Savior, because he died on the Cross to save from Hell and not to sent us there. We do not need to be self righteous and holy to have the fellowship of the Holy Spirit or Jesus, he is for all who need him, and he gives his fellowship to all,even to those who do not believe, he heals even those who do not believe, he did it when he was here on earth, and why not now. 

And how can he bow someone to faith if he does not aproche them as unbelievers and reason with them. Even the Devil gave his fellowship to Jesus Christ, when he was here on earth. Love one another it is also not to afflict believers with the fear of Hell, unless they have good fruit and a holy and a righteous life on their name together with the name of Jesus. 

Edited by Your closest friendnt
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Guest Butero
On ‎9‎/‎29‎/‎2016 at 3:58 AM, brakelite said:

I agree with this. Probably my favorite preacher outside my own denomination is Paul Washer. People need a straight message today for there is no time now for sleeping in church. It is time now too trim the lamps and ensure we have God's Spirit abiding in us, and the ONLY evidence fr the presence of the Spirit of God is a life lived in harmony with God's, not man's, standards. And yes, the scriptures are the only basis for faith and practice.

But a pope? No thanks. I can listen all day to a preacher who will encourage and direct us to the Bible and to live in accordance to holiness and the righteousness of Christ. I can not abide one who instructs or teaches according to the commandments and doctrines of man. The former is directing man to live in surrender to the chastisement of a loving Father. The latter directing us to live under the slavish control of man's philosophy and vain deceit. After the rudiments of man, and not God.

I have never heard of Paul Washer, but I will look into him since you recommended him.  As I said, my Pope comment was somewhat sarcastic.  There is somebody who constantly claims we don't need Popes, and what he is responding to has nothing to do with a Pope.  It is just a one liner that he likely picked up somewhere that sounded good to him. 

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Guest Butero
On ‎9‎/‎29‎/‎2016 at 9:57 PM, GoldenEagle said:

Hiya Butero :)

I have no idea where this is coming from. Where did you get imposing standards from the last few posts or what does it have to do with healthy boundaries? A reminder this is not the thread about control. There's another thread for that. 

I do agree that the Holy Spirit will never lead you to go contrary to the Bible. :thumbsup: 

I don't think hard nosed, hell, fire and brimstone holiness preachers will be listened to anymore. Not even sure if that's truly a Bible believing person per say? Jesus said that people would know us for our love for one another. Not our standards. 

And how did we get off way left field again on "legalism"? Is this just something that comes up regularly on your posts? 

God bless,
GE

It was a direct response to a post by Brakelite, and I am happy I did respond to him, because I see we don't disagree to the extent that I thought, and I may have been given the name of a minister that preaches the Word of God as it should be preached.  I will have to look him up, but I am on the look out for true ministers, since they are so hard to come by these days.  I would listen to a hard nosed, hell, fire and brimstone holiness preacher.  I am completely turned off by the Chuck Swindoll types. 

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