Grace

[Sharin]

I have struggled with faith most of my life, I feel as though I just can't "get it right". My question is, how does one internalize grace? I feel as if it doesn't apply to me, as if I'm too far gone. I accept the fact that I am the one afraid to be loved, afraid to trust God, but feel powerless to change it. I sometimes wish I did not have this overwhelming pull on my life, when my heart starts to melt it feels so foreign and I run from it. At the same time I am absolutely desperate for him. I have prayed that if my pride keeps me standing, break my legs, it's better than losing my soul. I have isolated myself to the point I have no one to seek counsel from. Any insight would be appreciated.

[Jayne]

Hi, Sharin .....

You have used a word in  your post that could possibly be the problem - "feel".  Thank God that our salvation and His sovereign mercy and grace aren't dependent on if we "feel" it or not.  I'll be honest with you - there are days I don't "feel" it either.

There are SO MANY daily events that factor in to the way we feel at a given moment.  Stress, anxiety, too little sleep, too much soda/sugar, health issues, excitement, mountain top experiences, and even good times that distract us from prayer, Bible reading, fellowship with God, and more. 

The very same Christian who you will hear exuberantly say, "I feel so wrapped up in Jesus today!" may say to you in a couple of weeks, "I feel like God isn't even listening to me - what's wrong?"

What's wrong is that we try to measure our faith by our own faulty and flawed yardstick - how we "feel" about it.

How do we then measure or test our own faith level?  It isn't our trust level.  It's our obedience level.  Trust and obey as the old hymn says.  If we aren't obeying God, then that really isn't trust, is it.

Are you faithful in prayer, reading his Word, fellowshipping/working with other believers, singing praise to God, listening to him, and loving other people with an active love that mimics Christ's love.  These things aren't always emotion-stirring events and sometimes they are.  But they need to be done daily and practiced as part of our worship of God whether we feel it or not.

Sometimes when we let these things get "dry" - our feelings get dry too.

Just put one foot in front of the other and live for God.  Tell him the same thing you've told us.  And then just listen.

 

 

[BK1110]

13 hours ago, Sharin said:

I have struggled with faith most of my life, I feel as though I just can't "get it right". My question is, how does one internalize grace? I feel as if it doesn't apply to me, as if I'm too far gone. I accept the fact that I am the one afraid to be loved, afraid to trust God, but feel powerless to change it. I sometimes wish I did not have this overwhelming pull on my life, when my heart starts to melt it feels so foreign and I run from it. At the same time I am absolutely desperate for him. I have prayed that if my pride keeps me standing, break my legs, it's better than losing my soul. I have isolated myself to the point I have no one to seek counsel from. Any insight would be appreciated.

Many of us feel unworthy...and we should, because we are. Completely and utterly. Internalizing grace is difficult for the truly broken, but it's important, because we can either spend our time continuing to beat ourselves up or spend it glorifying God. And it's important to remember that the change in our lives is meant to be a testimony to others; if, despite your faith, you continue to hate yourself, be depressed and upset over things, when others see that, will they see any difference in you? Will they want what you have found if it doesn't change you?

Continue to pray. Ask God for his grace to flow into you and to wash away the self doubt and loathing. I would also suggest you get connected to a strong local body of believers; live with them, speak with them, study and pray with them. You're not alone, and God doesn't intend for you to be.

God bless!

[Sharin]

Thank you all for your encouragement. I have started a class based on the book "Search for significance", I feel that it is just what I need. If I can just manage to finish without shutting down emotionally, I think I might just start to heal. I so frequently default to numb as it is what feels comfortable to me, but is definitely not what's best for me. I guess I just have a hard time accepting forgiveness, instead of accepting his gift I try to take the cross next to him. Once again thank you for your input.

[Ezra]

On 8/31/2016 at 0:46 AM, Sharin said:

My question is, how does one internalize grace?

Regardless of your feelings, or even of your thoughts, you must simply believe the FACTS of the Gospel. That's how you internalize grace.

1. Christ died for YOUR sins according to the Scriptures.

2. Christ rose again for YOUR justification according to the Scriptures.

3. If you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and receive Him as your Lord and Savior, YOU will be a recipient of God's grace (also called mercy, love, and loving kindness). See Titus 3:4-7.

But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,

Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;

That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

[RustyAngeL]

51 minutes ago, Ezra said:

Regardless of your feelings, or even of your thoughts, you must simply believe the FACTS of the Gospel. That's how you internalize grace.

1. Christ died for YOUR sins according to the Scriptures.

2. Christ rose again for YOUR justification according to the Scriptures.

3. If you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and receive Him as your Lord and Savior, YOU will be a recipient of God's grace (also called mercy, love, and loving kindness). See Titus 3:4-7.

But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,

Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;

That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

Exactally, everything my brother Ezra said.  The Bible says we walk by faith not by sight.  Our salvation is a fact.  

As said we don't deserve anything but God Grace is offered anyway. Our job? just accept it 100%

[missmuffet]

On 8/30/2016 at 11:46 PM, Sharin said:

I have struggled with faith most of my life, I feel as though I just can't "get it right". My question is, how does one internalize grace? I feel as if it doesn't apply to me, as if I'm too far gone. I accept the fact that I am the one afraid to be loved, afraid to trust God, but feel powerless to change it. I sometimes wish I did not have this overwhelming pull on my life, when my heart starts to melt it feels so foreign and I run from it. At the same time I am absolutely desperate for him. I have prayed that if my pride keeps me standing, break my legs, it's better than losing my soul. I have isolated myself to the point I have no one to seek counsel from. Any insight would be appreciated.

God extends His grace to everyone if they will except it. No one is ever too far gone. God is waiting for you to ask Him into your life. You might isolate yourself but God is always with you. He is always there to listen to anything you want to share with Him.