FirmBeliever Posted September 2, 2016 Group: Newbie Followers: 2 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/02/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted September 2, 2016 My mom died when I was 10. My dad remarried and my sister was 5 and Considers our stepmom the only mother she's ever had. Her values and morals are different than mine because I took a more spiritual path with my grandmother as my role model. I met my husband when I was 17, married him when I was 28 and now I am almost 40. My sister is 35 and is very attractive and outgoing. Physically we get told we're very alike. However, in the spiritual realm we're very different: She's single, mundane, promiscuous, histrionic and very flirtatious - she lives the Miami life. I've been kind of like her mother in many ways, always giving her advice on how to be a good person, tried to turn her to God,but she won't listen and its like I'm throwing pearls to a pig. We no longer have much in common. She has always envied me and when she visits me in South Carolina she shows off, dresses inappropriately around the house, and flirts with my husband - its like a fun competition to her to get all the attention. My husband says he only sees her as a little sister but he responds to her flirtatious ways saying he is just being courteous to "family". She is also overly affectionate with my 4 year old son trying to out-do me in everything - she has always wanted kids but feels and acts 19. I feel VERY uncomfortable when she is around, to the point it sickens me when she is around my husband at family reunions (which don't happen that often, thank God). My husband is not very open about religion or a spiritual leader in our home and he's also mundane, something I am praying about very much. It worries me that my sister has said she is applying for a job here in South Carolina and will have to move here in about 3 months if she gets it. I don't want her around my family. We live in love peace and harmony and it will be extremely disturbing to have her be close to me as I feel it will be a temptation to my husband, so my anxiety is through the roof. I am trying to let go and let God but I need advice on how to keep it together. Please help me figure out what to do - I am a woman of faith and want to do Gods will here. I have not told my husband about this yet because he'll just say I'm blowing things out of proportion and think I am crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted September 3, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 306 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,130 Content Per Day: 4.64 Reputation: 27,806 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted September 3, 2016 Blessings FirmBeliever Welcome to Worthy......so glad you have joined us,Praise Jesus! This is the Worthy Welcome "Seekers Lounge" the place reserved for unbelievers & guests as they do not have access to the Inner Court,where Christians begin Thread. Here all replies need moderator approval before they can be posted so it takes longer to get responses....I will send you a PM with more info & we will move your Thread to the appropriate Forum,you do not yet have access because you do not yet have the minimum required posts.....go to our "Worthy Welcome" Forum & begin a Thread with a brief intro,you can respond to your welcomes & acquire posts..... I noticed you said your husband is "mundane".....I'm curious,do you mean he has little interest & is dull or that he is carnal rather than spiritual?I would really suggest that you focus on you & your hubby,if he is not "Eternal Minded" & GOD is not FIRST in his life then that is the bigger issue(not your Sister).......You & your hubby are one flesh and there should not be anything to worry about in Christ Jesus Mighty Name........you should not be worried or anxious for anything......start reading Gods Word TOGETHER,praising TOGETHER,praying TOGETHER and TRUST GOD for everything I would be praying for him to be hungry & thirsty for Gods Word,JESUS and the sister would be the furthest thing from my mind.........honestly How to keep it together,you already answered that question"let go & let God"......Faith comes by hearing the Word of God,get that Bible out & feed your spirit!!!! Usher in the Presence of God the very moment you open your eyes in the morning with some great Praise,giving Him Glory,Honor & Thanksgiving.......a house full of praise & worship has no room for the enemy & his feeble attempts to distract you from the Lord ,His Will & His Ways...... One of my dear friends had a similar situation with her husband,she would anoint him with oil & pray over him as he slept-lol....he kept waking up with the desire to read the Bible,no kidding! I encourage you to provoke your hubby to jealousy as you are just oozing with Peace,Joy and Enthusiasm for Jesus...just focus on Him like Peter did to walk on water,the moment he took his eyes off Jesus he started to sink,nevermind the wind & the waves...... Glory to God! With love-in Christ,Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted September 3, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,990 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.83 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted September 3, 2016 Greetings and welcome to Worthy FirmBeliever Your sister does not come off as a Christian. She resents you. Your sister is insecure,jealous and is competing with you. She is harassing and bullying you. She comes off as a toxic person. These kind of people are never easy to deal with.Is there anything in your childhood that you can see that would cause her to act towards you today as she does? Those material things that she flaunts around mean nothing.God does not want us to be human doormats. Do you think your husband is a born again believer or do you think he just has a "said" faith? You do know that the Bible asks us to forgive. You will need to forgive your sister and this is sometimes very difficult to do sometimes. We do not need to do this for the offenders benefit but for our benefit so we will not have a bitter heart. We do not have to have fellowship with that person again.You then need to give all of the unkind things your sister has done to you and give them to God. God is the ultimate Judge and your sister will not get away with the way she has treated you. You need to sit down with your sister and tell her exactly what is on your heart. Be open and honest with her. Tell her if her behavior towards you and your family does not change she will not be welcome in your house again. You need to pray and ask the God and the Holy Spirit to put the right words on your brain and on your tongue regarding this conversation. You also need to sit down with your husband and tell him everything that is on your heart regarding your sister and your feelings towards her. I hope your husband will be supportive. You then need to sit down and tell God everything that is on your heart. Give this whole thing to Him. I will pray for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne Posted September 3, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,803 Content Per Day: 1.29 Reputation: 4,779 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/31/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted September 3, 2016 (edited) Wow! I think you should just tell her the truth about how you feel about her. You are "VERY uncomfortable around her" and she "sickens you". You feel it will be "very disturbing to have her close to you". You think she's "promiscuous". You believe her being single makes her "spiritually different" than you. You believe her to be after your husband and child. Just tell her to her face that you can't stand her and to stay away from your husband and child. You've already dismissed her anyway as being unworthy to be part of your family - that's incredibly evident in your words about her. Just tell her. Clean break. Rip the band-aid off. You're not going to be happy until you do. Edited September 3, 2016 by Jayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAZARD Posted September 3, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 11 Topic Count: 320 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 6,830 Content Per Day: 0.84 Reputation: 3,570 Days Won: 1 Joined: 02/16/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted September 3, 2016 Quote "Should a wife protect her husband from flirtatious women or flirty relatives?" . Hi FirmBeliever. A good faithful husband should not need protecting from anyone or anything by his wife. His job is to avoid flirtatious women and have nothing to do with them, and to protect his wife and children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted September 3, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,990 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.83 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted September 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Jayne said: Wow! I think you should just grow a spine and tell her the truth about how you feel about her. You are "VERY uncomfortable around her" and she "sickens you". You feel it will be "very disturbing to have her close to you". You think she's "promiscuous". You believe her being single makes her "spiritually different" than you. You believe her to be after your husband and child. Just tell her to her face that you can't stand her and to stay away from your husband and child. You've already dismissed her anyway as being unworthy to be part of your family - that's incredibly evident in your words about her. Just tell her. Clean break. Rip the band-aid off. You're not going to be happy until you do. Maybe the statement you said "just grow a spine" is not the most appropriate or kind statement to make. It sounds somewhat harsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne Posted September 3, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,803 Content Per Day: 1.29 Reputation: 4,779 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/31/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted September 3, 2016 14 minutes ago, missmuffet said: Maybe the statement you said "just grow a spine" is not the most appropriate or kind statement to make. It sound somewhat harsh. I'll delete it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BK1110 Posted September 3, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 22 Topic Count: 86 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 6,857 Content Per Day: 2.42 Reputation: 9,580 Days Won: 4 Joined: 07/18/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/10/1986 Share Posted September 3, 2016 As HAZARD said, yes, a Godly man should not need protecting; he should take his marriage with you so seriously that he never does anything that could even appear to be flirtatious or anything of the sort. Shame on him for even allowing it at all. It's going to be hard since he's not a Christian and doesn't view marriage the way a Christian does. Don't do it in a disrespectful way, but I would advise you to speak to him, privately, about how she makes you feel, and how you feel when you see him engaging in that behavior with another woman, any other woman, for any reason. It is not acceptable. I would agree in principal with others, advising you to speak frankly with your sister. But make sure you do it in a loving way; no insults, not harshness. Just tell her that, while you love her, you feel she and her lifestyle and actions are a bad influence on your child and your husband, and since you're primary, God-given responsibility is to them, you cannot, in good conscious, allow things to continue with her as they have. This isn't about your happiness; this is you drawing a line in the sand for their sakes, to protect them, not for you. God bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted September 3, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,990 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.83 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted September 3, 2016 I believe that in a Christian marriage both parties should stay very close to what God wants for them in their marriage. And respecting each others Christian decisions is one of them. Now if the marriage is unevenly yoked and you have a believer and a none believer you are going to have more of a challenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FresnoJoe Posted September 4, 2016 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 208 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 8,651 Content Per Day: 1.17 Reputation: 5,761 Days Won: 4 Joined: 01/31/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/04/1943 Share Posted September 4, 2016 On 9/2/2016 at 5:52 PM, FirmBeliever said: Should a wife protect her husband.... from flirtatious women or flirty relatives.... My Wife Says Yes Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 And I Say Husbands Should Man Up "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. Job 31:1 (New International Version) ~ Welcome~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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