Am I marked unworthy?

[Salvadoran15]

I was struggling with my faith. I was caught in a wedge between choosing what I wanted to do instead of what God wanted for me. In the end I ended up leaving my residence and left on a bus on my own accord to go where I wanted.

But halfway into the trip I felt nothing but pure spiritual agony.

I had turned my back on God.

I knew that what I was doing was gravely wrong. I was looking at verses such as Romans 1:28 where it talks about people being turned over to reprobate minds. How God gives them just what they want and turn them over to eternal damnation. The thought of all this almost made me puke. I felt sick to the point of faint at the though of being stamped unworthy and useless.

I walked out on God..

This whole thing about being a reprobate terrified me. I'm turning back now and am on my way to make things right and totally surrender my life to Christ for good. I don't care what happens to me anymore or what others will think of me. I fear God more than man now. As long as I have Him, I don't ever want to turn back.

Am I marked? Is it too late? Am I like Esau who gave up his inheritance for a plate of food, only to seek it back in tears and unable to receive it again?

I read that a rebrobate mind is devoid of all sound judgment and left to do things that are unseemly. I don't feel I've quite reached this mindset yet.. not after this scare..

I greatly appreciate any input, many thanks and blessings

Edited September 7, 2016 by Salvadoran15
Character adjustments

[RustyAngeL]

We are all unworthy but that is where God's Grace comes in.  Grace is unmerited favor it is something we get when we ask God's forgiveness but don't deserve.  The face that you are fearful tells me that there is a lot of hope.

If you have asked God to forgive you and have accepted that forgiveness then walk on in your faith. Get back into the word and into a good Bible believing church.  Stop living in fear and start to live in His freedom.

Blessings, RustyAngeL

[Sister]

9 hours ago, Salvadoran15 said:

I was struggling with my faith. I was caught in a wedge between choosing what I wanted to do instead of what God wanted for me. In the end I ended up leaving my residence and left on a bus on my own accord to go where I wanted.

But halfway into the trip I felt nothing but pure spiritual agony.

I had turned my back on God.

I knew that what I was doing was gravely wrong. I was looking at verses such as Romans 1:28 where it talks about people being turned over to reprobate minds. How God gives them just what they want and turn them over to eternal damnation. The thought of all this almost made me puke. I felt sick to the point of faint at the though of being stamped unworthy and useless.

I walked out on God..

This whole thing about being a reprobate terrified me. I'm turning back now and am on my way to make things right and totally surrender my life to Christ for good. I don't care what happens to me anymore or what others will think of me. I fear God more than man now. As long as I have Him, I don't ever want to turn back.

Am I marked? Is it too late? Am I like Esau who gave up his inheritance for a plate of food, only to seek it back in tears and unable to receive it again?

I read that a rebrobate mind is devoid of all sound judgment and left to do things that are unseemly. I don't feel I've quite reached this mindset yet.. not after this scare..

I greatly appreciate any input, many thanks and blessings

Salvadoran 15

You'd be surprised how many of us after hearing the Word of truth returned to our own vomit and felt deeply ashamed then returned back to the Lord.  This is the kind of godly sorrow only a child of God can feel.  God understands that the enemy is always trying to tempt us away, therefore he lets us learn the hard way through our own mistakes, that those desires were not worth how it left us feeling empty by being so far away from him.  The door is still opened, you are not damned, the Lords has led you back to him and your remorse proves it.  Learn from it, and don't go back there again, that's all I can advise.  He knows your heart.

This scripture comes to mind, as a little encouragement for you.

Luke 7:47   Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.

 

[Willa]

Remember the Prodigal Son?  As soon as his father saw him on the horizon he ran toward him and ordered a great banquet to celebrate.  That is how father God restores us as well.  If you have doubt and fear now it is not from God.  It is from the enemy who is angry that you are returning home and returning to God.  

[other one]

8 minutes ago, Butero said:

If the Lord is convicting you, it is not too late.  Just don't put things off.  Return to him today, and he will receive you.  Those who have gone too far won't feel that conviction anymore, because God will cease to deal with them. 

that is very sound advice Butero.......    if he had gone too far, he would not even be concerned about it....  rest assured that he will be with you to set things right.....