Sight Posted September 24, 2016 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 4 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 205 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 230 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/10/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted September 24, 2016 I am able to soften my heart, but most circumstances in life harden it. I am at a point where I am figuring people out 100%. Some think they can take advantage of me. Some look down at me with contempt. Some try to be friendly, but arent really fully vested in friendship. I'm having a difficult time bouncing back from struggle, and it doesn't seem to be affected by my vast levels of expertise, personal strength, and resolve. Everyone seems to think I am worth nothing, and it's because I've lived most of my life picked on, bullied, and abused by others, and it's reflective on how I function in the world. I TRUSTED JESUS TO HELP ME. Not a single thing changed since I was born again. Scripture promises renewal and a new life in Jesus. My life only got worse. That's what resulted in the aformentioned words. I trusted Jesus, and I got either betrayed, or withheld blessing. I trusted in God, and he screwed me over. Nothing manifested, and now, Im at a make it or break it point. I want God to be alive in my life. I want the LORD to make my life fruitful, plentiful, and abounding, so I can help make others lives fruitful, plentiful, and abounding. But it has not happened...for 8 years. 84 months. Over 2000 days...God has NOT ONCE blessed me, and I had grown tired of it. That is why my heart has waxed cold. People taking advantage of me, looking at me with contempt, and pushing me aside...I'm tired of Jesus making a mockery out of my life. I trusted Jesus, and he backstabbed me. Now, I have to work HARDER to pick up all of my mess, while Jesus watches from his chair eating popcorn enjoying my suffering. I want to be free to affect my life positively. I either want the LORD to get out of my way, or I want the LORD to bless me and allow me to do great things. If other Christians can have a life of dignity and be able to earn their keep and raise a familiy, I DESERVE THE SAME THING, AS A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN. We all are, but God shows favor to others, and craps on me. That is why I say what I say. I wasn't always like this. Most Christians dont seem to understand that. ...but I come for help, not to attack. My heart has waxed obsidian. It is harder than anyone can imagine. I need a paradigm shift. I need God to actually get off his chair and help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RustyAngeL Posted September 25, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 23 Topic Count: 155 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,464 Content Per Day: 1.02 Reputation: 8,810 Days Won: 57 Joined: 03/30/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/12/1952 Share Posted September 25, 2016 On 9/23/2016 at 4:59 PM, Sight said: I've made a decision. I will continue to be thankful. In the past, I would reply and argue and rip to shreds. Right now, the pronounced depression I am feeling, coupled with a desire to offer myself as a living sacrifice to God's will prevents me from disagreeing. I am sorry for your loss, and I understand the joy you find in living with Jesus. Go in peace, and may God bless you Now you got it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sight Posted September 25, 2016 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 4 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 205 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 230 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/10/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted September 25, 2016 And getting it more. I got closure on the situation. Mostly, it was ignorance from parents growing up, and bad decisions made for me. Here's the thing folks, and it's the one thing I cannot seem to resolve. Whatever happened happened, and I still love my parents and family, and even though I've operated in a 'dependent' paradigm, shifting to an 'independent' paradigm of living, going from Child to adult, something is STILL unresolved. God is useless. God has not made a difference for me, or my family, or my progress. Everything good that occured, was by my own hand. As I stand now, I cannot say God is alive, or working in my life. To me, God is still a deadbeat. Im the only one who can affect my life. God, as far as I'm concerned in my own personal life, is either dead or uncaring and aloof. So, I know what I have to do, but in the frame of the solution, I now know I cannot rely on God to help. He's effectively a deabeat observer. It's up to me to make a difference. I cant trust the LORD to help me. That's the end fact I have arrived at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love2eternity739 Posted September 25, 2016 Group: Newbie Followers: 2 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 1 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/25/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted September 25, 2016 With pray all things are possible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enoob57 Posted September 26, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 35 Topic Count: 99 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 41,143 Content Per Day: 7.98 Reputation: 21,438 Days Won: 76 Joined: 03/13/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/27/1957 Share Posted September 26, 2016 On 9/18/2016 at 10:05 AM, Sight said: Folks, almost Eight years living with Jesus in my heart, trying to achieve success in my own life. I've gotten to the point where I've lost all patience with typical Christian fellowship, and I am at a point where I need to start seeing results, or I will question the bible's validity as a source of good living itself. In this boast of yours ... may I ask exactly what are you going back to? Hopelessness, nothingness of anythingness, dispare with no resolve, what do you find attractive to godlessness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted September 26, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 307 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,136 Content Per Day: 4.63 Reputation: 27,816 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted September 26, 2016 Blessings Sight I cannot help but notice you continually say 'God does nothing for you,He is useless etc,,,," Can y8ou remember times when you were going to go down a street you always turn on but for some unknown reason you took a different road? Then you heard about a big accident that you probably would have been in had you taken your usual street?Did you not wake up this morning? When you were outraged ,heart pounding & telling someone off did you get a heart attack,a stroke? Ever almost get hit by a car?How do you think all those things did NOT happen to y ou? By Gods Mercy,Favor my friend,,,that's how! WE walk by FAITH & not by sight,we BELIEVE in things unseen as well as what is right in front of us,,,,,we TRUST GOD......you admit you don't & yet you call yourself Born Again? What makes you think that,what change has taken place that you think y ou have been Born of Spirit? God is NOT a genie,He does not grant our wishes,especially when the desires of our hear are totally off..............pray those desires be changed.......God WILL NOT do one single thing for us that He has given us Power & Authority to do for ourselves ,,,,in Christ Jesus Why would He,why should He?In Duetoronimy 8:18 He says He has given us POWER to attain wealth,so should He send money down from the windows of Heaven or do we go out & ask Him to show us where the opportunities lie that we can Receive His Blessings by our earnest hard work?.......He says,I give you POwer to step on serpents & scorpions,so should He destroy them or do we pick u p & use the Authority we have to access His Power? No,He Will not do for you what HE has given you instruction to do for yourself....& He does not erxpect y ou t o go it alone,He is right there to lead,guide ,instruct ,assist,,,,if you rely,depend & trust in Him With love-in christ,Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BK1110 Posted September 26, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 22 Topic Count: 86 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 6,864 Content Per Day: 2.42 Reputation: 9,593 Days Won: 4 Joined: 07/18/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/10/1986 Share Posted September 26, 2016 On 9/25/2016 at 11:08 AM, Sight said: God is useless. God has not made a difference for me, or my family, or my progress. Everything good that occured, was by my own hand. Based on all the posts I've read, I feel like your problem has been expecting things to get better because of your faith in God. If you look at the real, strong believers throughout the years, things in this life don't get better because of their faith. Peter, Paul, and the other disciples in the Bible were all killed for their belief. Martin Luther was excommunicated. Even today, in many less free parts of the world, Christians are persecuted for their beliefs. God is not a genie. God is not there to make everything better and grant wishes. It's a shame so many pastors preach this Health and Wealth nonsense nowadays. Despite all that's happened to you, you have not completely turned away from faith in God. You rage and cry and shake your fist, but the fact that you're here, seeking desperately and asking "why" instead of just walking away altogether means you haven't given up completely. God has promised he will not test us further than we can take, even if it feels like it at the time. Perhaps He's showing you that you have the potential to be stronger than others. But if you're focused on what God can do for you, I.E. solving your temporary worldly problems and desires, instead of what you can do for the one who died for you and saved you from hell, then aren't you missing the point? Aren't you allowing the concerns of the temporary to influence what you should be doing for the eternal? When you first came to God, did you do so expecting him to solve your problems and bring you health and happiness? Because that was never what he promised. He promised a life of hardship and rejection...but one that would ultimately bear eternal rewards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gdemoss Posted September 26, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 59 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 4,402 Content Per Day: 0.99 Reputation: 2,154 Days Won: 28 Joined: 02/10/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/26/1971 Share Posted September 26, 2016 On 9/18/2016 at 11:05 AM, Sight said: Folks, almost Eight years living with Jesus in my heart, trying to achieve success in my own life. I've gotten to the point where I've lost all patience with typical Christian fellowship, and I am at a point where I need to start seeing results, or I will question the bible's validity as a source of good living itself. Been there. Had that problem. Found a solution. Do you realize that the bible teaches that this problem was present at the time the church formed and began to grow? The church is full of people with different issues all around. Not everyone who calls himself a Christian is one. Paul spent countless time ministering Christ those who were listening only to have churches like Corinth that many were sick, weak or dead because they were taking the Lord's supper in an unworthy manner. He said that some of them were former drunkards, homosexuals, thrives etc. My problem was that I had the false expectation that once people came to Christ that they would be changed and not be who they were anymore. Not so. We are all capable of doing very sinful things and hurting one another. In Matthew 5,6 and 7 Jesus gives the blueprint for building a house that cannot fail. Unfortunately the directions are very difficult to swallow. I seek to follow what he has prescribed and found that the winds blow, the waters rise and beat against the house but it still stands. He never said it would remain peaceful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7thseal Posted October 22, 2016 Group: Senior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 825 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 186 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/13/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted October 22, 2016 On 9/25/2016 at 11:08 AM, Sight said: God is useless. God has not made a difference for me, or my family, or my progress. Everything good that occured, was by my own hand. Im the only one who can affect my life. So, I know what I have to do.It's up to me to make a difference. I cant trust the LORD to help me. That's the end fact I have arrived at. Once you're done playing god and ask of God with belief then.... You're asking of Him to respond based on your terms... won't ever happen. Read what others posted and believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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