Mommyofone Posted October 3, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/03/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted October 3, 2016 I am a happily married woman. I have developed a crush on a fellow choir member at church. I have prayed and tried pushing the feelings aside. I'm scared to death he or someone else will catch on. He is single and 13 years older than me. The point is I am married. What's wrong with me? I shouldn't be feeling this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RustyAngeL Posted October 4, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 23 Topic Count: 155 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,464 Content Per Day: 1.02 Reputation: 8,810 Days Won: 57 Joined: 03/30/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/12/1952 Share Posted October 4, 2016 Don't give it anymore room. Speak when spoken to by him. Smile and keep on loving your husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted October 4, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 307 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,136 Content Per Day: 4.63 Reputation: 27,816 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted October 4, 2016 Blessings Mommyforone Welcome to Worthy.....glad you are here & look forward to talking with you but since this Forum is a "answer only" Forum you will not be able to respond until we move the Thread(I sent you a PM with more details to explain better) PLUS,this is the Outer Court which is the place reserved for unbelievers,seekers & guests to pose questions as they do not have access to the Inner Court..I am guessing you are A Christian because you mentioned "church",hopefully you are or if not then you are posting in the proper Section In your OP you said you are "happily" married.....can't be that happy if your eyes are wandering elsewhere & 'church" would be the very last place you should be looking to anyone but God,why do you go to church? If I may ask? I guess I have to patient for your reply when this is moved.....hmmmm? You are a married woman,in your heart you have already committed adultery Quote King James BibleBut I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matt 5:28 You have to stop minimizing it by calling it "a crush",it is a sin & not to be taken lightly.......the only Way to stop this type of behavior is firstly to "resist the devil & he will flee" & to ask our Lord forgiveness and to help you to Renew your mind.......Fill your thoughts with Gods Word & fix your eyes on Him,pray a desire to put Him FIRST & Foremost,walking in Spirit & in Truth.....what's wrong with you,you asked.....nothing except you are made of flesh & if you listen to that flesh instead of Holy Spirit then you are on for a world of troubles.....not to mention your poor husband Also,you seem very worried about what people may think if they catch on....you need be more concerned about what God thinks because He "caught on" even before you did Give God Glory in ALL you do With love-in Christ,Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisFirst Posted October 5, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 21 Topic Count: 315 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 3,491 Content Per Day: 1.26 Reputation: 2,582 Days Won: 3 Joined: 09/25/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted October 5, 2016 On 04/10/2016 at 7:34 AM, Mommyofone said: I am a happily married woman. I have developed a crush on a fellow choir member at church. I have prayed and tried pushing the feelings aside. I'm scared to death he or someone else will catch on. He is single and 13 years older than me. The point is I am married. What's wrong with me? I shouldn't be feeling this way. Hi MommyofOne, You say you are "happily married" and then,"have a crush on someone". They don't really mesh - I think you have an infatuation with a guy that probably has been nice to you (hopefully not flirting with you). This can make a woman feel flatteted, especially a married woman who is getting attention from a single guy but coming from a single guy from Church - really, he's being disrespectful to you And your husband, totally dishonorable if he is flirting with you and allowing "something" to grow. It needs to stop and it starts with you - sorry for being blunt, but its not worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyofone Posted October 5, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/03/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 5, 2016 First, I am a Christian. Second, this man has done nothing inappropriate. He has not flirted or anything. He is a true man of God . I say hi and speak to him during greet your neighbor time at church. Other than that I make it a point to avoid him without being rude. Both of us are in choir. What am i supposed to do? Drop out of choir? Singing for the Lord is my passion so nope not happening. So just because I developed a crush ive committed adultery in my heart? I cant control my thoughts but I can control how I respond to them. You all think I havent prayed about this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisFirst Posted October 5, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 21 Topic Count: 315 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 3,491 Content Per Day: 1.26 Reputation: 2,582 Days Won: 3 Joined: 09/25/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted October 5, 2016 (edited) Ok, he hasn't flirted or anything. You just have a crush on him - something is there that thrills you. Ok, I can understand that. Humans are not robots, we are flesh and blood and will be attracted to others even after marriage. But, you have to control this. You are doing the right thing by praying but have you asked God to kill this feeling? To remove this burden from you because if left unchecked on your behalf, it could turn into a huge mess. It may get to the point where you might have to take a step away from the choir, avoid this man if you want to honour God, your hubby and child. I really hope my advice has helped you ?? Edited October 5, 2016 by HisFirst Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B3L13v3R Posted October 5, 2016 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 11 Topic Count: 76 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,261 Content Per Day: 0.24 Reputation: 1,035 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/12/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted October 5, 2016 4 hours ago, Mommyofone said: So just because I developed a crush... Hi MommyOfOne, Welcome to the Worthy Boards! Some previous great thoughts by fellow Christians wherever they may apply in our lives. Here's a great place to start with the "crush" as we look to love God first and foremost in all we are and do: Romans 12:1-2 (1) I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. (2) And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. "Crushes" can be a bit of a temptation particularly in a married situation. Do not err, if allowed to continue, crushes with there lure, oftentimes have a bad way of ending here: James 1:13-16 (13) Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: (14) But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. (15) Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. (16) Do not err, my beloved brethren. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted October 5, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,689 Content Per Day: 11.81 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted October 5, 2016 On 10/3/2016 at 2:34 PM, Mommyofone said: I am a happily married woman. I have developed a crush on a fellow choir member at church. I have prayed and tried pushing the feelings aside. I'm scared to death he or someone else will catch on. He is single and 13 years older than me. The point is I am married. What's wrong with me? I shouldn't be feeling this way. Are you having any problems in your marriage? Do you feel like you are genuinely in love with your husband? I have known someone who was dealing with exactly what you are dealing with but the wife was dealing with abuse from her husband. You do know that these feelings are not from God. Satan is trying to trip you up. You need to pray to God to give you strength. You know that the Bible says God will not put anymore on you than you can handle. Just a thought. You do not have OCD do you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne Posted October 5, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 107 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,820 Content Per Day: 1.30 Reputation: 4,805 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/31/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted October 5, 2016 Mommyofone, You say that your passion for the Lord is singing in the choir. I believe you. Good for you. But this passion for singing to the Lord and this crippling attraction you have for this man who is not your husband cannot exist at the same time or should they be expressed at the same time. I have put myself in your place. I really have. I would temporarily step down from the choir. If anyone asked, I would tell the truth and say, "I need to work on some spiritual matters for a while." Only you can answer this question. Do you think about seeing him on the way to choir practice or during practice or does he ever cross your mind while singing in the choir? Ever? Then your sinful attraction for him is competing with your passion for the Lord in sing in the choir. And most importantly, God is not being glorified by your singing in the choir. All your spiritual efforts are going to have to be targeted at being delivered from this sin and evil. Stepping down from any church activities other then attendance may be necessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Churchmouse Posted October 5, 2016 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 91 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 2,216 Content Per Day: 0.80 Reputation: 1,014 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/29/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/02/1958 Share Posted October 5, 2016 (edited) Remove yourself from temptation by removing your proximity to the temptation. Quit the choir. That would be the first thing that I would suggest. Do you really think god will look favorably upon you for singing to him, while you have these thoughts in you. The roles may be reversed, but the idea is still the same. Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. You need to remove the situation out of your life. Matthew 5:29-30 29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/7-tips-to-avoid-temptation/ Edited October 5, 2016 by Churchmouse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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