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Switching Churches


da_man1974

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Coming to Netherlands im looking for a church. I think im going to Hillsong here. I just love the way of worship is there.

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On October 10, 2016 at 0:39 PM, da_man1974 said:

We have been attending a church for about 18 years or so.  My kids were raised in this church.  Now they are not liking to go because there is no one their age there.  I understand that church should be about God not everything else.  There is another church available in the area. But we have made a lot of friendships and what not in the church we are in.

Not sure if we should switch or not?

We switched churches a while back. We went from a large church 1500-2000 members to a much smaller church of 200-300. We had a lot of friendships there. My wife had grown up in that church. 

We now have new friendships in our current church. :) 

Are there only 2 Bible believing churches in your area?

Why not check out the other church and pray about it together as a family? 

God bless,
GE

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On October 12, 2016 at 6:42 PM, Out of the Shadows said:

I am not debating the person, I am debating the idea we can make decisions divorced from our feelings.  

Let me try this again.  Let's say that two people make a list of pros and cons about buying the same house.

These two people could have the same item on their list but it could be pro for one and a con for the other, based upon what they FEEl is important.  

I do agree that feelings do come into play. I'll give an example. I made a list of pros and cons: 

Old Church Pros (Large Church 1500-2000 members) 

  1. We felt the music was very professional and liked the large orchestra. We also liked the combination of hymns and praise songs. 
  2. We felt the church had a very well organized children's ministry.
  3. We felt a part of the church as we had family (my grandpa and her original family unit) and some friends there. 
  4. We felt we were heavily involved in an apartment outreach for several years. We were pouring into people. Lots of people came to know Christ and became Believers in Jesus. Many were baptized. 
  5. We felt we loved the people and members at this church.
  6. We felt very blessed by support and the many resources of a large church. 
  7. We felt the church was politically connected in the denomination. 

Old Church Cons (Large Church 1500-2000 members) 

  1. We were considered among the "few" or "super" Christians that could be counted on to teach. So we taught 4th graders every week. So we taught during the week at the apartments and on Sundays at the church too. Stepping down from a position was highly frowned upon. The 1st grade class teachers had been asking to be replaced for 5 years. They finally just quit. We felt very burnt out. 
  2. We were not involved with young married adults our age due to being "super" Christians and serving in the church. The Sunday school for the 4th graders was at the same time as the young adults class. We felt disconnected. 
  3. We felt the teaching was eloquent and Biblical but not very practical. It was 3 points and a poem type thing. We didn't feel we were being poured into and finding fellowship. 
  4. We felt it was easy to get lost in such a big crowd.
  5. We felt everyone felt they "knew" us since they knew our family. However, we probably had truly less than 10-20 people we interacted with regularly. 
  6. We felt it was time to leave and cleave. 
  7. We felt the Sunday School model was antiquated and put a very large burden on a select few who taught the kids. 
  8. We felt there wasn't much understanding towards those who didn't grow up in church. Particularly seekers and those newer to the faith. 
  9. We felt children were seen as a nuisance and nursing mothers as an inconvenience. 
  10. The same song was sung every single week for over a decade. "Jesus Saves" The choir was nice but antiquated. People in the choir were expected to remain in the choir indefinitely if they were members of the church. 
  11. None of the people from the apartment ministry that became believers and were baptized became a part of this church. They were baptized at another church and got plugged into another church. 

(Continued in next post)

God bless,
GE

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On the other hand... @da_man1974

New Church Pros (Small Church 200-300 members)

  1. We feel we love the practical, Biblical teaching. It's not formulaic and it's flexible. In other words it's flexible as we can listen to it online if we miss a service.
  2. We feel we love the small groups (or life groups) in the homes that meet every other week. 
  3. We feel the church body has a great heart for the local community and reaching the neighborhood for Jesus. 
  4. We feel we like the music as it is more of a band with guitars, drums, etc. 
  5. We feel kids and babies are more accepted. They are not seen as a nuisance. 
  6. Nursing mothers are accepted and appreciated. 
  7. We have been able to help with Financial Peace University - a course that helps people get out of debt and become better stewards of their resources. 
  8. When we have felt burnt out after serving as teachers for the pre-K kids for 1.5 years it was not a problem to step down for a time. 
  9. We feel we like the church being less formal and more casual is a good thing. There is no organ. There is no offering plate passed every week. People come in jeans while others come more dressed up. 
  10. We like that the staff is typically bi-vocational so they are more connected to the community and the real world.

New Church Cons (Small Church 200-300 members)

  1. We feel the music is less professional. The music is good but sometimes it's hard to sing along. 
  2. We feel the church is not very organized. But it is improving. 
  3. We feel there are limited resources.
  4. We feel the church teaches tithing as applicable to the local church and the Believers in Jesus. This is sometimes frustrating. 
  5. The staff are bi-vocational so we feel they are sometimes less efficient.
  6. We feel the leadership doesn't always have a clear pulse on what is going on in the church. Particularly in the children's ministry. Although this is improving as well. 

We prayed about and switched churches. Honestly, I was ready to move to another church a long time before my wife. I prayed for a year for God to show her that we needed to move.

God bless,
GE

PS - It would be great if everyone could ease off of @Out of the Shadows. He makes some very good points although I don't always agree with him. 

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Guest shiloh357
On 10/10/2016 at 0:39 PM, da_man1974 said:

We have been attending a church for about 18 years or so.  My kids were raised in this church.  Now they are not liking to go because there is no one their age there.  I understand that church should be about God not everything else.  There is another church available in the area. But we have made a lot of friendships and what not in the church we are in.

Not sure if we should switch or not?

You should find a church that ministers to your kids.   Right now, 75% of churched kids leave the church altogether within two years of HS graduation.   Most of this is because neither the church and/or their parents never really grounded them in the faith. You need a church that will teach and really minister a "sticky faith"  to them, meaning that they will teach them critical thinking skills that will enable them to stand when confronted with challenges to their faith.   And you need ministers who can answer their questions, as well. 

It's not about pizza and parties.  It is about Jesus.   Kids are the life blood of the church.  If your kids are not being ministered to, it will be problematic later on. 

If they leave, they will turn into adults who have no biblical grounding, who will rebel against the faith and make up all kinds of excuses for abandoning what they were taught from the Scriptures.  They experience that slow fade away from Christianity that often happens which kids who were raised in church become adults who forsake it.

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1 hour ago, Yowm said:

Right, rather they get grounded in 'feelings'.

Is that what you feel happens to the youth?

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Guest shiloh357
1 hour ago, Yowm said:

Right, rather they get grounded in 'feelings'.

It's the fruit of our postmodern society.  Following your heart and trusting your feelings isn't really reliable.  But when a person doesn't believe in absolute truth, all they have left is how they feel.

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41 minutes ago, shiloh357 said:

It's the fruit of our postmodern society.  Following your heart and trusting your feelings isn't really reliable.  But when a person doesn't believe in absolute truth, all they have left is how they feel.

There was a slogan -- probably a Hippie slogan -- "If it feels good, do it".

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4 hours ago, shiloh357 said:

Most of this is because neither the church and/or their parents never really grounded them in the faith. You need a church that will teach and really minister a "sticky faith"  to them, meaning that they will teach them critical thinking skills that will enable them to stand when confronted with challenges to their faith.   And you need ministers who can answer their questions, as well. 

It's not about pizza and parties.  It is about Jesus.   Kids are the life blood of the church.  If your kids are not being ministered to, it will be problematic later on. 

I think this is one of the reasons so many people under 50 (Gen X, Millennials (Gen Y), and Gen Z) are not Believers. People want to raise their kids and help raise their grandkids the same way they were raised. While some principles and aspects may be the same, the vast majority of folks over 40 or 50 are out of touch with the newer generations. Younger generations are not going to react or think the same way. Their experiences are vastly different than their parents or grandparents generation.

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

3 hours ago, Yowm said:

Right, rather they get grounded in 'feelings'.

Feelings are not evil. The truth is a wise person uses the Bible, the Holy Spirit (prayer), logic, and feelings in making discerning decisions.

God bless,
GE

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