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Guest shiloh357
22 minutes ago, Out of the Shadows said:

Spoken like someone who has never been married.  

The "together" part is easy, it is the close proximity part that takes some getting used to.  Of course it all teaches how to make decisions, finances and how to settle disagreements.  But none of it has to do with Love. 

Doesn't matter if if I have been married or not.

Premarital counseling is far more complicated than you realize.   Premarital counseling (if it done correctly) delves in far deeper than money and decision making.    The counselor exposes the couple to each other.   Premarital counseling actually ( in some cases) causes couples to cancel their wedding.   This is because in premarital counseling, the counselor often probes both people about themselves, as well as what they know about each other.    He investigates what their view of marriage is and their ideas about what it means to be "in love."   The counselor will, in some cases show the couple, even after two or more years of being in the relationship, that they really didn't know each other as well as they thought and that may mean halting the direction they are going.

In some cases, people end up putting on the brakes or ending the relationship altogether when they discover that they are not ready to be married, have no business getting married, and/or are simply not really right for each other. 

It has everything to do with love.  Love is very practical and love is willing to roll up the sleeves and work.  It's far more practical than the rainbows and butterfly fantasies that some young people have about marriage and the unrealistic expectations they have about the person they are going to marry. 

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2 minutes ago, Davida said:

a couple of thoughts I'm pondering....By the world's definition, people supposedly"fall" in love and people supposedly  "fall" out of love. I noticed that the Bible mentions lust or coveting but it doesn't mention a falling into love or out. I'm imagining the strong affection that people identify as love would wane if it was not nourished by the other persons behaviour. 

 

Were the couple truly in love to begin with? Are the couple committed to each other "Till death due us part"?. Is your relationship centered on God as number 1? Is that person you are marrying really the person you think he or she is? Are you being deceived? You need to step back and ask yourself...can I spend a lifetime with this person?

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An excellent topic.  I read 2 pages of replies.  No time for more.

Feelings cannot be trusted.

Just as a conscience is a goad road and not a guide because we can believe lies, feelings can also be based upon lies.

However, that said, when we are living according to truth, acting upon the truth, we experience true feelings.  God is true and God has feelings therefore God truly feels but God is not guided by those feelings or his wrath would have consumed us all.

Ya feel me?  Lol

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Guest shiloh357
30 minutes ago, Davida said:

a couple of thoughts I'm pondering....By the world's definition, people supposedly"fall" in love and people supposedly  "fall" out of love. I noticed that the Bible mentions lust or coveting but it doesn't mention a falling into love or out. I'm imagining the strong affection that people identify as love would wane if it was not nourished by the other persons behaviour. 

 

 Another reason that love is not emotional is that love (true, biblical love) is a fruit of the Spirit.  It comes from God.  It is something He works into us, thus it doesn't come from our emotions.   It is a divine attribute.

 

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12 minutes ago, enoob57 said:

3.jpg

I wonder what is behind the emotions and feelings of being a kiss up?

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4 hours ago, Out of the Shadows said:

The Bible tells us that God IS love, so no God's love is not based upon emotion, but we are not God, we are not Love, and our love is based upon who we are

Well that's not what the Bible teaches.  The Christian's love is in fact the love of God by the power of the Holy Spirit.  It is also called AGAPE.  See 1 Corinthians 13, where love is called "charity" because it is similar to God's love.

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Guest shiloh357
2 minutes ago, Davida said:

I re-commited to my spouse a several years ago - it was during a difficult time when I was feeling sadness, frustration , no joy not much affection. I had a heart to heart with the Lord God, (not my spouse they never knew)  and I prayed and spoke out loud to  the Heavenly Father God and told Him in spite of my "feelings" or lack of  I was making the decision to Love  my spouse because they were my spouse, because of our marriage vows that were made in the Lords presence , and thru the sacred covenant that God had made it to be and I told God that I would Love unwavering as He has shown His unwavering love for us and how He loves the Jews and stands by His people . And God blessed me with this kind of love for my spouse and deep affection for them that immediately flowed from the action of Love... and the power of this love continues to bless us and extends past us.

Yes, exactly.   Thank you for that post.  It makes my point, beautifully.   Love was was in action, despite your feelings/emotions.

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1 hour ago, Davida said:

a couple of thoughts I'm pondering....By the world's definition, people supposedly"fall" in love and people supposedly  "fall" out of love. I noticed that the Bible mentions lust or coveting but it doesn't mention a falling into love or out. I'm imagining the strong affection that people identify as love would wane if it was not nourished by the other persons behaviour. 

 

It is certainly a fact that people mistake affection or even lust for love, but it is also this fact that re-enforces those of us who feel true know that there what we are feeling is not affection, as we have been there and we know the difference. 

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There is agape love. There is phileo love. There is eros and storge love but I do not think they are in the Bible.

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