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JustABitLost

Just want to talk...

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Hi everyone,

I guess I have a lot on my mind and heart and want to talk.

Everytime I try talking about what I want to talk about... in the forums that seem closest... the most relavant... I get shut down. In one way or another.

For example... if I try talking about how liars helped destroy my career... as a software-developer, where can I talk about that? If I go on a programming forum and try describing all the great work I've done and how people lied about me... and ruined it for me... they just delete my writing. they act like I'm wierd for even brining up the subject. But why is it bad to ask for career advice from people who are successful in the same career? Yet they act like it's "wierd" somehow.

If I try talking about my future ideas that I want to work on... they delete it.

If I try talking about my theories or beliefs about the Universe on spiritualist forums... they go crazy and tell me I'm bad. I mean they argue with everyone, and each other all the time, so that's understandable. But it wasn't working so I had to move on.

...

Perhaps I'm in the wrong place again. Perhaps the Universe is just telling me "just have ideas and keep them to yourself, tell no one"...

I don't know. All I know is... I'm struggling with a lot of emotional issues...

I want to find kindness... a way to be kind without ending up being used like before.

Perhaps I don't have trust in life. I'm not dead yet. So perhaps my past of "being kind" wasn't all in vain... and despite the losses I feel, actually helped me move on.

But I can't see a way out.

I really don't know. I think I am pretty lost right now. I guess I'll describe my problem in a separate post... :)

Edited by JustABitLost

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Hi...

Well... I'll introduce myself a bit more. I'm in my 30s.

I look a lot younger. Mostly because I don't believe in, or value humanity's current belief system of what life is supposed to be. It doesn't work.

Anyhow, the point is that I've had time to work on important things, while keeping my spirit young. A lot of time. But I am still trapped here... at home, with my parents. Trapped by society. Because I want to work on meaningful things, but there is nothing meaningful to work on.

So by now you can tell I don't talk like a Christian. So I should post in the seeker forum or something? I have my own belief system... BUT I've found christians online to be level-headed. And not all kooky. And also, not arrogant like atheists. Which is a good thing. That's why I'm here.

...

Anyhow... so basically to cut a long story short... I invented some stuff that SHOULD have changed the world... if anyone was here to listen to me. Or care, or believe. It would have. Everything I've made still works, but I'm just sitting on it, not releasing it.

Because I've just experienced disappointment after disappointment, from humanity. Betrayal and traps from cruel people, or time-wasters... or people misleading me while acting friendly.

I've come to realise some deep truths about humanity... realising that I will simply not get help. I will just get more of the same. I can explain why... but the explanation is too long for this post.

I'm trying to protect myself from more loss... it is deeply upsetting and harmful, to work so hard on trying to make something work with other people, just to have them ruin it. I've become pretty good at protecting myself... Good at recognising people who want to set traps for me, to try to make me look bad. I know how to avoid these people, I can see their traps a mile off by now.

But the protection itself is hurting me.

Walling myself off so much. With nowhere to express myself... no friends.

I feel like I've forgotten how to be kind.

How to cooperate. How to trust. I feel like I only remember how to fight and mistrust.

I know there is more. There has to be a way to have fun again... I just feel stuck.

I'm obviously doing something wrong. I know I am. But how can I figure out what I'm doing wrong, if I can't even talk about it? If I keep getting shut down by people. My beliefs are wrong somewhere. Life doesn't have to be so bad. But also... I can't say life is just paradise or all peachy. It's not realistic. Every animal who believes that every other creature is it's friend, will soon be eaten. That is how this world works.

Being all "love and light" is not the answer. And yet I know I've gone too far into the dark... learning how to fight so much I've forgotten how to love.

Sorting out my beliefs so it's not limiting to me, yet also doesn't make me vulnerable to evil people, is not easy. It needs to give me a CHANCE to TALK ABOUT MY ISSUES.

That's all I guess.

Thanks.

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Blessings JustA'

    Wow,that's quite an intro,,,,,Welcome to Worthy,,,,,& even though y8ou are not a Christian we are very happy you are here & have joined us ,,,,,so please,do not think we are not excited to talk with you but Worthy Welcome is just the place where we come to meet ,greet & welcome new members,not the place for discussions(as we already discussed together)

    So we look forward to seeing you in the Outer Court......Praise Jesus!                                                       With love-in Christ,Kwik

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Thanks very much. I know my story is too overwhelming for most people. That's why I can't talk about it. In fact I think it's worse... at this point it has simply crossed some kind of threshold... that I CAN'T talk about my story... because there is no time, for them to take in the ideas and understand them.

But I still need to be able to talk.

I can pat myself on the back for "having worked on important things that WOULD have changed the world"... but no amount of patting myself on the back will change the fact that I'm in my 30s with no friends living at home with my parents, and no way to make a real career... just a loner trying to work on something important...

You might as well be talking to someone who hasn't done something important... for all the difference it makes. At least that's how I feel right now.

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Blessings JustA,,,,

    Ahh,I understand the need to have someone to talk to & get it all out,,,,,,I have Jesus,He always listens PLUS He puts the right people in my life at the r6ight time that will listen.....I think you will find we do care & we will listen.....I encourage you to start a New Topic,in the Outer Court/

"Have a Problem" Forum  where we can all talk & listen & you can post as long as you like (try not to make it tooooo long-lol....readers seem to respond more to the not so long posts)                              With love-in Christ,Kwik

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Welcome👋

I think to start with, you should see a few different Drs. Tell them the crux of your state of being and go from there.

Im no Dr but you sound depressed. 

 

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Hello JustABitLost,

I am a newbie as well and am unsure exactly where to go to post something that is on my heart.  I did a lot of exploring and there are some tutorials on how to navigate this site.  I think once you find the right place to share your issues, you will get the encouragement you so dearly need.  I wanted to welcome you to Worthy Network (even though I am only hours new myself).  Please let me know when you repost to the appropriate forum.  I have some thoughts I would like to share with you, if you do not mind.  I will be praying for you.  Just know that God led you here because He loves you and is guiding you.  Please do not give up.  That is Satan's plan.  As it says in God's Word, John 10:10: "The thief (which is satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  I (Jesus) came that they (that is you and me and people who receive Christ as Savior) may have life and have it abundantly."  God has good things in store for you.  God bless you richly. 

Dabby26
 

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Hello!big Welcome to Worthy!...you most likely found the right place i think...they have chat here also..hope to see you in chat or on these Forums:)  

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Hi and welcome. I am new here myself. The people here are very nice, much nicer than any other forum I have been on. You are most welcome to be here and I hope that you can find some answers. There is a lounge called the "seekers lounge" I think for people like yourself who are a Christian along with all sorts of other ones you will enjoy. You will see a list of the forums here on the main page :) Take care and nice to meet you.

Edited by Christs Princess

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welcome construction letters pine.jpg
Where we believe The Word of God should form proper thinking ... it's a reconstruct of the mind of error we were born with....

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