Jump to content
IGNORED

As a christian, how to cope being dumped by boyfriend after his father's death?


Recommended Posts


  • Group:  Members
  • Followers:  0
  • Topic Count:  1
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  5
  • Content Per Day:  0.00
  • Reputation:   1
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  10/30/2016
  • Status:  Offline

 I have a boyfriend of two years. On our first year, we were together working away from our homes. We lived together by ourselves on the first month, 2nd to 6th month we had separate apartments and from 6th til our 14th month, we lived together again with another friend. Til one day my father got sick and I needed to go home. We had an LDR for a year til June 2016, his father died. He had a complicated relationship with his father. They fought a lot and never patched up until his last week at the hospital. Although we were fighting a lot, i went to the funeral and spent the 4 days with him. He even introduced me to his whole clan. Until 2 weeks after the funeral, we had a small fight and he never talked to me for 10 days. I initiated contact and he said he doesnt love me anymore. I left him alone for 1 month then again initiated contact and got the same answer. He really doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t see me in his future. Again after two months, i initiated contact again and still got the same answer however he kept on blaming me that I never made him happy during our relationship, that he was happier before he met me, he got sick and tired of me always complaining and whining ( complaining about my family, finances & work cause my life is somehow stressful at the time i was with him) and that i choose to sleep rather than talk to him when we fight about little things. He blamed me for everything and said it’s too late for me. and the last thing he said was “please have some respect, I haven’t forgiven myself because of my father, don’t bother me”…. I know he’s still grieving and depressed but all that he said affected me so much and made me question whether what we had was real and even makes me hate myself. I may have took him for granted but I loved him with my all. I really dont want to lose him but it seems he shut me out of his life. Please help me. I pray night and day but i get so frustrated and depressed too. I want to comfort him and be there for him but he’s shutting me out. Please anybody, I don't really know what to do at this point. I have thought about our relationship and everything i did and i may have hurt him but unintentionally cause of how i deal with things. As a Christian, i was hypocritical. But now, all those wrong ive done i want to make right. im trying to be better. is there any more i can do to alleviate the pain of my ex or just be there for him? is there any way i can make it up to him? ive confessed all these things but the pain, guilt & regret just kills me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Graduated to Heaven
  • Followers:  208
  • Topic Count:  60
  • Topics Per Day:  0.01
  • Content Count:  8,651
  • Content Per Day:  1.18
  • Reputation:   5,761
  • Days Won:  4
  • Joined:  01/31/2004
  • Status:  Offline
  • Birthday:  03/04/1943

:emot-heartbeat:

Seek Jesus First

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

And All Good Things Will Follow

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

~

Be Blessed Beloved Daughter Of The KING

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:
The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them. Numbers 6:24-27

Love, Your Brother Joe

~

Thy word is true from the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments endureth for ever. Psalms 119:160

The Bible contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doom of sinners, and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are holy, its precepts are binding, its histories are true, and its decisions are immutable.

Read it to be wise, believe it to be safe, and practice it to be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you, and comfort to cheer you.

It is the traveler’s map, the pilgrim’s staff, the pilot’s compass, the soldier’s sword and the Christian’s charter. Here too, Heaven is opened and the gates of Hell disclosed.

Christ is its grand subject, our good its design, and the glory of God its end. It should fill the memory, rule the heart and guide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently and prayerfully.  It is a mine of wealth, a paradise of glory, and a river of pleasure.

It is given you in life, will be opened at the judgment, and be remembered forever. It involves the highest responsibility, rewards the greatest labor, and will condemn all who trifle with its sacred contents.

From The Inside Of My Gideon New Testament

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Worthy Ministers
  • Followers:  23
  • Topic Count:  155
  • Topics Per Day:  0.02
  • Content Count:  7,464
  • Content Per Day:  1.02
  • Reputation:   8,810
  • Days Won:  57
  • Joined:  03/30/2004
  • Status:  Offline
  • Birthday:  12/12/1952

Welcome to Worthy.

I guess my first question is are you both believers?  That should be first and foremost in your life.  If you put Christ first in your life everything else will work out if you give it all to Him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Royal Member
  • Followers:  34
  • Topic Count:  1,989
  • Topics Per Day:  0.49
  • Content Count:  48,687
  • Content Per Day:  11.89
  • Reputation:   30,342
  • Days Won:  226
  • Joined:  01/11/2013
  • Status:  Offline

11 hours ago, struggling26 said:

 I have a boyfriend of two years. On our first year, we were together working away from our homes. We lived together by ourselves on the first month, 2nd to 6th month we had separate apartments and from 6th til our 14th month, we lived together again with another friend. Til one day my father got sick and I needed to go home. We had an LDR for a year til June 2016, his father died. He had a complicated relationship with his father. They fought a lot and never patched up until his last week at the hospital. Although we were fighting a lot, i went to the funeral and spent the 4 days with him. He even introduced me to his whole clan. Until 2 weeks after the funeral, we had a small fight and he never talked to me for 10 days. I initiated contact and he said he doesnt love me anymore. I left him alone for 1 month then again initiated contact and got the same answer. He really doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t see me in his future. Again after two months, i initiated contact again and still got the same answer however he kept on blaming me that I never made him happy during our relationship, that he was happier before he met me, he got sick and tired of me always complaining and whining ( complaining about my family, finances & work cause my life is somehow stressful at the time i was with him) and that i choose to sleep rather than talk to him when we fight about little things. He blamed me for everything and said it’s too late for me. and the last thing he said was “please have some respect, I haven’t forgiven myself because of my father, don’t bother me”…. I know he’s still grieving and depressed but all that he said affected me so much and made me question whether what we had was real and even makes me hate myself. I may have took him for granted but I loved him with my all. I really dont want to lose him but it seems he shut me out of his life. Please help me. I pray night and day but i get so frustrated and depressed too. I want to comfort him and be there for him but he’s shutting me out. Please anybody, I don't really know what to do at this point. I have thought about our relationship and everything i did and i may have hurt him but unintentionally cause of how i deal with things. As a Christian, i was hypocritical. But now, all those wrong ive done i want to make right. im trying to be better. is there any more i can do to alleviate the pain of my ex or just be there for him? is there any way i can make it up to him? ive confessed all these things but the pain, guilt & regret just kills me.

Welcome to Worthy. Are you a born again believer in Jesus Christ? The Bible teaches us that living together is a sin and is not to be encouraged as a Christian. Why did you keep contacting the man when he told you that he did not love you anymore? You will be better off without this man in your life. I would suggest that you ask Jesus Christ into your life and ask for repentance.Start reading the Holy Bible everyday. Give this whole situation to God and allow Him to guide and direct you in finding a man whom He wants you to be with. Possibly another Christian.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Members
  • Followers:  0
  • Topic Count:  1
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  5
  • Content Per Day:  0.00
  • Reputation:   1
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  10/30/2016
  • Status:  Offline

2 hours ago, RustyAngeL said:

Welcome to Worthy.

I guess my first question is are you both believers?  That should be first and foremost in your life.  If you put Christ first in your life everything else will work out if you give it all to Him.

I am a believer but he's an atheist. I am working on my relationship with Christ right now. My ex is struggling and depressed because of his father's death. I am also really concerned about him. I know he needs help. i just dont get it why he's pushing me away. all i can do is pray for him. is there any more I can do?

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Members
  • Followers:  0
  • Topic Count:  1
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  5
  • Content Per Day:  0.00
  • Reputation:   1
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  10/30/2016
  • Status:  Offline

1 hour ago, missmuffet said:

Welcome to Worthy. Are you a born again believer in Jesus Christ? The Bible teaches us that living together is a sin and is not to be encouraged as a Christian. Why did you keep contacting the man when he told you that he did not love you anymore? You will be better off without this man in your life. I would suggest that you ask Jesus Christ into your life and ask for repentance.Start reading the Holy Bible everyday. Give this whole situation to God and allow Him to guide and direct you in finding a man whom He wants you to be with. Possibly another Christian.

I'm a Roman Catholic. I am currently working on my relationship with Christ. it's a struggle though, ive been praying day and night and the pain, guilt & regret still eats me up. I have confessed all my sins even the smallest things ive done in the relationship i wasnt aware of that he blamed me for. i love this guy so much. i contacted him cause i know he is very depressed, it's only been 4 months since his father died and i heard he's not doing well. i want to be there for him but he pushes me away. all i do is pray for him. is there any way i could help? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Royal Member
  • Followers:  34
  • Topic Count:  1,989
  • Topics Per Day:  0.49
  • Content Count:  48,687
  • Content Per Day:  11.89
  • Reputation:   30,342
  • Days Won:  226
  • Joined:  01/11/2013
  • Status:  Offline

58 minutes ago, struggling26 said:

I'm a Roman Catholic. I am currently working on my relationship with Christ. it's a struggle though, ive been praying day and night and the pain, guilt & regret still eats me up. I have confessed all my sins even the smallest things ive done in the relationship i wasnt aware of that he blamed me for. i love this guy so much. i contacted him cause i know he is very depressed, it's only been 4 months since his father died and i heard he's not doing well. i want to be there for him but he pushes me away. all i do is pray for him. is there any way i could help? 

Let him go. You can pray for him. Is He a Christian?

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Members
  • Followers:  0
  • Topic Count:  1
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  5
  • Content Per Day:  0.00
  • Reputation:   1
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  10/30/2016
  • Status:  Offline

2 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

Let him go. You can pray for him. Is He a Christian?

He used to be a Catholic but because of the problems he faced he became an atheist. Thank you missmuffet. I just hope i'd be able to fully trust the Lord. Im struggling with letting go of things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Royal Member
  • Followers:  34
  • Topic Count:  1,989
  • Topics Per Day:  0.49
  • Content Count:  48,687
  • Content Per Day:  11.89
  • Reputation:   30,342
  • Days Won:  226
  • Joined:  01/11/2013
  • Status:  Offline

2 hours ago, struggling26 said:

He used to be a Catholic but because of the problems he faced he became an atheist. Thank you missmuffet. I just hope i'd be able to fully trust the Lord. Im struggling with letting go of things.

You need to be strong and have courage. The only way you can do this is to ask God for strength. He will get you through this. Then ask Him to bring into your life a man who truly loves the Lord. A man who can love you unconditionally. God's timing is different than our timing so we have to wait and be still until He answers our prayer. I will pray for you. :th_praying:

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Worthy Ministers
  • Followers:  22
  • Topic Count:  86
  • Topics Per Day:  0.03
  • Content Count:  6,828
  • Content Per Day:  2.43
  • Reputation:   9,555
  • Days Won:  4
  • Joined:  07/18/2016
  • Status:  Offline
  • Birthday:  11/10/1986

You need to work on yourself as a Christian first, before you go looking for a relationship. We are commanded very clearly and strongly not to marry unbelievers...and frankly, the Bible recognizes three relationship statuses; single, engaged, and married. This idea of dating forever, living together unmarried, fooling around...all of it very much not Christian. If he's an atheist and you plan to live as a Christian, and raise Godly children, then you have no business being with him in a relationship.

But that frees you, in a way. You can pray for him, daily and fervently. Give him some time, and if you approach him again, you can do so as a friend, not a romantic interest, which it seems he has no interest in anymore anyway. Show him that you're concerned for his well being first and foremost, and not getting involved in a relationship like that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...